anti dis.........

WE SIMPLY CANNOT ADMINISTER HEALING TO AN ENTITY WHO IS REPELLED BY THE CONCEPT OF BEING WHOLE....
WE CAN SUGGEST.....EVEN BRUTALLY, PERHAPS.....
BUT ULTIMATELY, ITS THAT OLD "YOU CAN LEAD A HORSE TO WATER....." THING......
AND SO WE FEEL UTTERLY FRUSTRATED.....RIGAMORTICIZED....

PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES ARE NO LONGER ON THE 'MILLENNIUM MENU'......
ONLY NOUVELLE, VEGAN, WANNA BE TOFU BURGERS WITH 'ANTI-MAYO'!!!
BETTER THAN GEFILTE FISH .....PERHAPS!!!
THE WORLD IS TURNING, CHURNING, ALCHEMICAL LY TRANSMUTING.....
WHILST WE ARE ENSHRINING THOSE PEANUT BUTTER MOMENTS......
WHEN LIFE WAS SIMPLE...UNCLUTTERED....INEFFICIENT....
AHHH.....

defying reason

the elementary and rudimentary facts of life remain constant......

cemented......

rules are rules are rules.......

sometimes arguably bendable......yes.......

but NEVER irrevocably breakable.......

hence.........the 'established order' of life as we know it.......

and then......

a 'pop-up' figure rears its head.......

fallen from some place in the atmosphere.........

and the inanimate creature REFUSES to obey the rules!!!!

the question , of course, arises....."how can an inanimate creature do much of anything at all??"

the thing defies our every sense of decorum and free enterprise......

this GOLAM, if you will, marches to its own twisted drummer......

knocking innocent women and children over by the sheer force of its depravity!!!

we cannot see that which we cannot understand.......

and the creature, for certain, cannot understand US..........

and so on and so on.......

the madness and unpredictable oddity of the human condition, as well as the 'alien' condtion! continues to defy reasonable conjecture.......

nonetheless.......we plod onward.......

onward toward bethleham.........

because we CAN........

continuing to kanoodle and ponder the practical application embedded within...........

i am faithfully yours..........

the boy is a baby no longer.......

my boy......

my fair skinned, blue eyed, sparkle baby........

hell be ten tomorrow......

his wisdom is like that of a grown man.......a sage even......

his experience.....that of a child.......

my freckly bundle of love.........my brendan........

may you be blessed with health and clarity and laughter.......

may your sorrows be shallow and small......

your joys........enormous and endless!!!

may color enhance your life.......may poetry live within your soul......

may you have everything.........and more........

happiest of birthdays, my son........

i love you.........

incredible amounts of information and dinner in new brunswick........

there are decidedly times in ones life when veritable avalanches of information come hurling downward upon us at speeds of unfathomable veracity.......

whirling dervishes of seemingly divine and quantifiable human data and detail can only be likened to arrows being slung from master 'slingers'.......aimed DIRECTLY at the heart......

the heart of the matter.......

the heart that lives inside the somewhat vulnerable and open chest cavity of the little girl who was ignored in the park.......

are the slingers trying to hurt the girl intentionally??

can the girl be saved from endless, rainy dinners in new jersey??

is there a quantum theory to perhaps relegate some sort of 'odds', whereby the girl can make an arguably educated decision with regard to the 'sling masters'??

why are they all so harsh??

so defensive??

why does the girl not possess the same filter as other feminine counterparts??

can filter, in fact, be learned??

who then would the girl be in possession of a filter??

would she still be so provocative???

so exciting??

so utterly infuriating???

questions very worthy of pondering.....

and PONDER SHE SHALL...........

surrounded by would-be suitors.....

a plethora of delectable, available, and eager men are standing in line around the corner from my building!

hmm....i wonder.....

is there a 'speed dating' service on the block that i hadnt been aware of??

is someone giving away free ipods at the mosque??

and then, in a moment of utter clarity, i am actually quite taken aback to find that these 'would be' suitors are waiting for a chance to run into ME!!!!

huh???

lil ol me??

whats happened to that scarred and disproportionate view that i have of myself??

i must fight to keep that view in tact....

for without my insecurity armour, protecting me from the masses........who am i???

we are the sum total of our experiences......our heartbreaks.....our belief systems......

we hold them dear......these esteemed self images, regardless of their voracity or counter-productive natures......

we walk the streets, clad in armour, awaiting battle......

even to the extent that we drive around in official looking, army cars, in order to intimidate intruders, as well as to envelop ourselves in a hard-shelled cocoon, so as to disassociate ourselves from the tired, stuffy, old masses.............

i suppose, when dealing with men, en masse, there is only one

simple answer......

"LET THEM EAT CAKE".....

or in this case, humantachen!!!!

layettes.........candles with chinese symbols.......

baby is coming out to play tomorrow......ready or not!!!
this womb hibernation has outlasted even the EVEREADY BUNNY!!!!
its time to breath real air........see real light......utter audible, little cherubic sounds with your infantile, puckered lips, sweet sugar baby.......
getting ready to welcome our new friend into our world with arms open wide......hearts ablaze with tender meandorings........
sleep tight, little aristocrat........
get ready for the water slide!!!
in honour of irinas baby......

SPINNING.....SPINNING........

AND SO......
DETAILS AND MINUTIA ARE FLYING THROUGH THE AIR........
HURLED AT PASSERS-BY AT SPEEDS OF OUTLANDISH OCCURRENCE......
CANDELABRUM BURN BRIGHTLY, ATOP GRANDIOSE PIANISIMOS..........
THE CONCERT OF LIFE IS COMING TO CRESCENDO, WHILST THE CROWDS ROAR WITH ADULATION AND TREPIDATION........
WE ARE, IN FACT, THE PEOPLE .......
WE HAVE, IN TRUTH, POSITIONED OURSELVES INTO THIS DILEMMA......
WE DID IT PROUDLY, I MIGHT ADD.........
QUESTIONABLE IN ITS PROFUNDITY.......
LIKE MUNCHHAUSEN SYNDROME........
WANTED REALLY TO BE CAUGHT WITH OUR PROVERBIAL HAND IN THE 'COOKIE JAR' OF LIFE.........
CAN WE 'PAY IT FORWARD'???
THEREIN LYETH THE EVER-PRESENT QUESTION ........

EXTREME EDGE......RAMIFICATIONS THEREIN......

SO THIS WORLD IS TURNING UPSIDE DOWN.....
THE POLITICS, THE ECONOMY, THE STARVATION......
THE EXTENDED PERIODS WITH NO CARBS!!
ITS ALL A BLUR.......A JUMBLE.......
VIVACIOUS TENACITY........
URGES WITH PINK NAIL POLISH ARE THRUST UP AGAINST EXTREME TANNING AND ACCESSORIZING.......
WHEN WILL ENOUGH BE ENOUGH???
WE SEEM TO BE PLUMMETING DOWNWARD......
CAN THIS BE CONTROLLED, AS IF IT WERE A CHEMICAL SUBSTANCE??
WITH A PRESCRIPTION FOR 'RAPID MELT' HEALING.......
AN OBVIOUS SOLUTION!!
I SHOULDVE REALLY BECOME A DIAGNOSTICIAN.......
'TOO LITTLE TOO LATE', SAID THE BROWN COW.......

KIDS ARE BEATING UP ON OTHER KIDS.......
ANGER AND HOSTILITY AND 'EDGE' PERMEATE THE FEBRURY SKIES.......
TINGED, UNBEKNOWNST TO US, WITH SULLEN RICE CRISPY TREATS......

MEETINGS ARE BEING HELD TO WARD OFF THREATS OF
'FULL DISCLOSURE'........
'GANGING UP', I SAY!!!
REVENGE OF THE NERDS!!
THIS TOO WILL MEET ITS DESTINED DOWN FALL......

SPRING WILL APPEAR......
THE CATTLE WILL GRAZE THE OPEN FIELDS IN FOLLY....
MERMAIDS WILL ASCEND TO BREAK THE CEILING OF OCEAN......
PARK AVENUE WILL REGAIN ITS 'TULIPPED' STANCE.....

THESE ARE GIVENS.....NONVARIABLES.......
TAOIST IN THEIR EXTREME SIMPLICITY, OR PERHAPS
BUDDHAIC??
HMMM......

conspiring to consort........

the activity level is extreme.......

highs......

lows......

deadlines.......

takeovers.........

am i being, in point of fact, 'taken over'??
am i a rare commodity??

like corn.......blue corn.........in Santa Fe.......

like water??? pure, clean, situated drinking water........

for the troops......they get parched.......

well bring them water, i believe.......

I WILL BRING THEM WATER.......and they will thirst no more.....

and the world, as we know it, will become 'hydrated'.......

theres the mission.....not as poetic as 'eating flanken on shabbos'......

but alas......we cant all write about that!!!

some of us need to hydrate the third world........middle earth, as it were.........

onward.......mi campadres........

to give our love and bounty and courage and fertility to the earth.......

we will reap that which we will sow........