On DATING.....So it goes like this....

So it goes like this....

They're either 'pretty hot and ridiculously inappropriate'...

or....

They're 'really nice, not so hot, and there is ABSOLUTELY NO CHEMISTRY'....

or....

They're 'WAY too young, really hot, and WAY TOO YOUNG'...

LOL

or....

uhhh...

or there IS chemistry of a sort, only held at bay...(BY YOU!)

because SOMETHING on their RESUME just doesn't add up...

Could it be their supremely, GOYISH NOSE....

 puggishly tilted upward,,,,,,

just beneath the KIPPAH they've rented for the evening ???

or....

They look GOOD,

 but they can't remotely STRING 2 WORDS together with any grain of intelligence,

and you're LITERALLY FALLING ASLEEP AT THE TABLE !!

or FINALLY....

(worst case scenario)

They are SO HIDEOUSLY UGLY that

you'd literally RATHER WALK HOME IN THE  TORRENTIAL RAIN

 than be seen getting into a CAR with them....

Oyyyy...

What's a girl to do ???

THE NEW ADDICTION

The NEW ADDICTION

The Most Addictive Drug 2011

Truth time, my loves...

The addiction market has taken a major swing from drugs and alcohol

to "SITTING ON FACEBOOK DAY AND NIGHT ALONE !!!"

Researchers are logging into FACEBOOK and TWITTER constantly,

in order to FIND A CURE !!!

What are the LETHAL and/or DANGEROUS side effects of this CRAZINESS, you ask ??

1) LOSING ALL OF YOUR REAL FRIENDS...

2) BECOMING LETHARGIC AND STAGNANT...

3) LIVING IN A FANTASY FISHBOWL, WITHOUT EVER TOUCHING UPON REALITY...

4) VARICOSE VEINS...

5) OBESITY

6) DIVORCE

etc...etc...

Take a good, hard look at yourselves, people...

If you believe yourself to be "Addicted to Facebook", we have established a FACEBOOK HOTLINE...

1 (800) GET REAL....

Fascinating thing about perceptions and reality...

From where I sit,

things may seem FABULOUS , HOPEFUL, MOMENTOUS even....

While YOU are viewing and/or experiencing  the SAME,

 REPLICATED scenario....

and gleaning DEFEAT, QUAGMIRE,  etc..

And so...

What ARE the 'precipitating factors'

which culminate in order to create our very own,

 individual perspective ?

Where does OUR REALITY come from ?

Is OUR REALITY.... truly REALITY at all ?

Who can answer this accurately ?

After all....What IS reality ??

What is TRUTH ?

Is MY truth the same as YOUR truth ?

Are there UNIVERSAL TRUTHS ???

Do DNA, learned behavior, inherent beliefs...

 play a significant part in our ULTIMATE perceptions ?

Ahhhh....

yet ANOTHER EXISTENIAL DILEMMA set forth by moi ,

for you to chew on....

There is no real explanation for why one is attracted to another...

...and so it was that the deadly, poisonous snake fell

MADLY in love with the soft, white, innocent bunny...

Her very INNOCENCE,

 in point of fact,

was what so keenly ATTRACTED him to her in the first place...

her sweet, genuine smile....

her big, hopeful eyes....

her complete LACK of experience....

her INGENUE...

And HE, (the snake), was CUNNING...

a predator....

Oh, YES...

He wielded power and charisma...

He made promises to be kind and gentle with her...

He lived in a FABULOUS, OPULENT, snake pit...

while she lived in a simple rabbit hole....spare and cozy....

SHE should have KNOWN better !!

Her instincts were virtually screaming at her to RUN the other direction....

that there was DANGER here with this SERPENT....

But his TONGUE...

OHHH !

HIS TONGUE...

It lured her in hopelessly, irrevocably....

How, you ask, had a SNAKE met a RABBIT ???

I mean, their social circles HARDLY overlapped....Right ??

Well...truth be told....

It was on an inter-animal, dating site...

ALL SPECIES were allowed to register...

The snake had POUNCED upon her, as innocent prey....

I can't REALLY tell you how this story ends....

I have heard, however, that the bunny is in the hospital in JERUSALEM....

suffering from MAJOR wounds and cuts...

It would appear that she has been unwillingly mollested....

BUT SHE'S NOT TALKING...

That's all I know...

So....Missy came across a GROUPON....

for skin injectables, fillers, etc...

and the deal was SO COMPELLING, that she figured she'd check it out...

for it NEVER hurts to gather info on injectables when you re a woman over 35 !

She called the office listed on the GROUPON page,

and the only time available for a "consultation" was verrrrry, verrry early in the morning....

(Missy had never been an EARLY MORNING kinda gal...)

Nonetheless....

the GROUPON was "calling her name"...

no question about it...

So, she took the absurdly early appointment for the next day...

The alarm rang at the CRACK of dawn...

She rolled sluggishly out of bed....

threw on a pair of old sweats and some inside-out teeshirt...

got in the car, and drove the half hour to the Drs office....

Now, here's the thing....

I'm gonna try VERY HARD not to be UN--- PC right now...

Missy knew the neighborhood where the good Dr was located...

and knew it to be predominately ASIAN....

So, she ASSUMED that the Dr would be ASIAN...

How to explain this??   

mmm...

In light of this assumption,

she further ,

made the RASH SWEEPING GENERALIZATION that

the DR would be a "mad scientist" type....

nerdy....tiny....

LOL

and that he would be focused SOLELY on the injectables...

but NOT on HER particularly ...or on how she was dressed, etc....

My point is that it was NOT her finest hour, vis a vis her appearance...

NOT by a long shot !!!

So...

IMAGINE her surprise when FREAKING,  ""DR Mc STEAMY""

came out to greet her !!

GORGEOUS !!!

A DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, 6'5", plastic surgeon who did the injectables on the side...

(NOT Asian !!)

She suddenly felt EXTREMELY self conscious,

and WISHED that she had AT LEAST brushed her hair....her teeth....whatever...

I really have NO IDEA why I'm sharing Missy's silly, little story with you !!

(The injectables were administered brilliantally, by the way !)

Dr Taj G Khan

201 313 8899

Don't you wish....

that the " NO CARBS" info had never come to light ?

Doesn't it SUCK to go to a barbecue and have the burgers and hot dogs with no buns ???

Don't you miss the days of just "eating a freakin' SANDWHICH' ???

When did a slice of PIZZA become a reason for SHAME and REGRET ?

and for God's sake....

Where is the MIGHTY DR ATKINS now ???

Did he die of a massive coronary ??

From eating butter and steak and cheese all day ??

It's too frustrating for words...

And yet....

WE SO WANT TO LOOK GOOD...

and FEEL GOOD....

My goodness....

I spend HOURS upon HOURS in a 110 degree room doing yoga !!

and then I have, as my reward, A SALAD !!!

Damn...

So, my friends....

we plod onward...

in the hope that new and useful info will come to light

and alleviate the painful need to WITHHOLD from ourselves....

But let's face it...

we look AWESOME in our bathing suit today !!!

Am I superficial ??

Is it superficial to care about the way that a man LOOKS ?

to not even give them a chance if their looks are not "up to snuff" ?

Is it ???

I'm not at all sure when I turned the corner on this delicate subject matter....

and started cycling backwards really...

I mean, after all....

The men in my past....ehhh....

not ALL of them were "drop dead gorgeous"...(THIS is an understatement !)

So...what happened ?

Clearly I'm not a bit SHALLOW myself...

This I can say with utmost assuredness....

And yet...and yet....

What happened to LOVE ?

'HEART' LOVE ?

'MIND' LOVE ? 

When did PICKY become the new COMPLACENT ?

just sayin'....