IS IT ALL RELATIVE ?

What makes a traumatic situation real and not somehow sensationalized or exaggerated ?

What constitutes real trauma ?

Is it all relative ?

Is it a coincidence that TRAUMA & DRAMA sound the same?

I always want to kick people who say that they don't want any "drama"....

What does that even mean?

Life, lets face it. is, in and of itself, DRAMA...

I mean-

To me, drama is, after all-

-Falling madly in love

-Having mind-blowing sex

-Raving about the most delicious thing youve ever tasted in your life

-Screaming at the top of your lungs when on some crazy, scary ride at a carnival

All of the above- DRAMA, yes?

I "think" that what all of those masters of the English language mean is that they don't want "MELODRAMA", which is an entirely different set of overly sensationalized occurrences...

Just thinkin' out loud...

Dont mind me....

-

Prince Charming - Is that a THING ?

 Whenever something, (or SOMEONE), seems "too good to be true"....

Guess what?

They ARE.... GO WITH YOUR GUT....

Ill cop to the fact very honestly that I am NOT an "angel" when it comes to male-female relationships.... 

Having said that, I am VERY DIRECT and "pretty freakin' honest".... (most of the time)

So...

When RED FLAGS start to permeate the territory, so much so that the ENTIRE MOUNTAINTOP seems suddenly coated in RED....

uhhhhh....      

RUN !!!

That's my great profundity on this glorious day....

Here's a Story for you....

Today was a hectic day for me....lots of places to be at one time....

Amid all the activity, I have been really searching these past several days for an

answer on an issue of some importance to me...

And I needed some Divine Guidance....

So I looked up at the sky today, and I said, 

"Ribbono Shel Olam, (Master of the Universe),

 PLEASE give me a sign that you're with me...Just any sign at all...."

I get in the car and drive home....

I had bought a new battery for my clock that stopped, and for WEEKS I just kept

forgetting to get buy batteries...

So I go into the bedroom, put the battery in, and I was just about to set the time...

The clock was EXACTLY on the ACTUAL CURRENT TIME...(to the minute)....

There are 1440 minutes in a day....

Seems pretty clear to me that I got my sign LOUD & CLEAR....

On Loss....

Loss ....

A word with myriad implications and connotations.... 

An "umbrella", if you will, to lend cover to the torrential currents of 

all things drenched in "lack"....

2020....

My God....

So much pain and heartache....So much death and fear....

So much HATRED....DIVISION....

We are not only divided by the INSANITY of the political arena and

 the unwavering paranoia embedded therein, but we

are LITERALLY divided into singular pods in which to exist....

We order in and watch the news and wear masks and WORRY....

We wait with bated breath for a promised "ELIXIR" to FIX the ALL-

CONSUMING plague upon us....

But here's what.... 

NOTHING will EVER go back to the innocence of before... 

The luxury of "taking EVERYTHING for granted"....

We will forever remember this time as BEFORE the PANDEMIC 

and AFTER the PANDEMIC....

(to be continued....)

Self-Depracation & Complete Misunderstanding...

There's a guy....
a banker...
MY banker...

GREAT GUY...
Hotty….
Hilarious...

We've grown oddly close in the few years since I moved down here....

And we talk about EVERYTHING....

And for a multitude of reasons, I haven't frequented the bank as often as I had been....
Busy...Stressed... Holidays... Exhibitions...Things you wouldn't believe.... blah blah....

And a few days ago, I needed to physically GO to the bank rather than to a random ATM or whatever....
And I felt strangely self-conscious....
As if there were expectations coming my way....from him....or something...

So....being somewhat of a HARDASS, I went to the teller's window rather than to his desk....
And I looked back for a moment.....
And he seemed SHOCKED or UPSET or something....
And I simply waved to him and left....

And if I'm being VERY, VERY HONEST, I had this insane moment of insecurity....
Weird, unreasonable thoughts assailed my brain like,
 "He doesn't think I'm pretty anymore...."
"He doesn't care about me...".....

Understand that these were BASELESS worries which I'd conjured up all on my own...
I'd written my own narrative, so to speak....(Excuse the MUCH over-used phrasing...)

And I was upset about it ....
FOR NO REASON AT ALL....NO REASON...

And today I found that I again HAD to go to the branch....
And I felt SO INCREDIBLY UNCOMFORTABLE & INSECURE, almost to the point of desperation not go in....lol
(WEIRD STUFF)...

And this time, he literally jumped up and came running over to me, asking what was wrong and why I was mad at him, and telling me that he'd never seen me look more beautiful....

And I stayed there with him for a few hours actually, and it got me thinking about how
PEOPLE just make up their own stories in their heads...
and we immediately arrive at the "WORST CASE SCENARIO" conclusions...
with literally ZERO EVIDENCE to support our FEARFUL, INSECURE little melodramas

....

Yeah...so...

Two Years....

It had been two years in this place....
in Florida...
in Fort Lauderdale...
Two years EXACTLY today...

What had it meant? 
What had occurred?

The Art.... SUBLIME...Exponential Growth....
Exhibitions...Museums...Followers...Awards....Recognition...
She had found, almost immediately, that the air here was filled with CREATIVE JUICES.... Easily accessible….
Wonderfully Drinkable....

The HOLOCAUST.... The HOMELESS.... Slavery...
Oppressed Peoples...
Palm Trees...Nostalgia....

She'd created a "LEGACY".... undeniably....

The Town....
Well...
She'd met the "important ones"... 
Some would say that she'd "positioned" herself well...
In truth, if they'd known her at all, they'd know very well that she simply organically gravitated to her "own"... always had...
Not a PLAN.....Just an OCCURENCE really....

Her son had grown and left the "proverbial nest"....
(as it should be....)
That's the thing about NESTS....
They are, by their very nature, "temporary"...
They can blow away EASILY in the slightest storm....
All the "CHICS" falling where they may....

Men.... Yes, of course... always....
All those marriages...relationships....encounters...
Did they , in fact, make HER a Commitment-phobe ?
Still....She believed DESPERATELY & PROFOUNDLY in
"LOVE"...
Love perpetually being "THE THING"...

Friends... YES.... Good ones....solid...
She had very literally weeded out the "bad seeds"...
Maturing finally.... (But still FUN as HELL!)…

And the Meaning of Life....
Yes...
Found....

On Contrition...

They seem to be "allergic", somehow, to REGRET, REMORSE, CONTRITION....
Modern-day SOCIOPATHS...
Or so it would appear...
And so...
They fly off, as bats in the night...
Invisible... Inarticulate... Insignificant really...
Interestingly, they "FEEL" LESS than insignificant....
They FEEL "IRRELEVANT"...
Because, in point of fact, they ARE...

They have been HARNESSED by those silly, striped FLOATIES...
ALL THEIR LIVES...Glued to their SPINELESS ARMS....
HEAVY under their GAUDY, UN-EARNED WATCHES....
Afloat....but unable to SWIM...
As worms...

"How can a SOCIOPATH "FEEL" ??", you ask ?
They have a kind of REFLEX REACTION to the danger of being overtaken by
their ALL-CONSUMING IRRELEVANCE...

Hell hath no fury...
WORD