yonder blitzen and schmulik.......

missletoe........
partridges in pear trees......
what the hell is a partridge in a pear tree???
and how can it possibly relate to santa clause????

and rudolph???
was he a field marshal???

its all verrry mysterious....

i get the latkah thing.....
no explanations needed.....

but all that 'eggnogulation'.......
dont freaking know what to say.....

a jew is a jew is a jew......
thats all i got....

mine is the mission statement of eating flanken.......
walking very very quickly to shul.....
and debating even the most trivial of subject matter......adnauseum.....

its who we are.....
no sloughing the dna off with a quick, lunchtime peel....
no.... no... siree.....

we are the chosen ones.....

we shake those palm branches and lemons.......
and we cover our heads.....
and we lament.......

and we bless our children on shabbos......

and we dont really know 'blitzen'.....

in point of fact,we once tried to cut off his horns to present to the rabbunim to blow on rosh hashana......

but he WOULD NOT hear of such blasphamy.....

so he FLEW off into the snowy sky.......(was it september?)

and one could here him in the distance, crying........
........"ONWARD SHMULIK!!!!"