Exhausted.....

We run and run and run...
and we take care of colossal amounts of minutia and gobble-Dy-gook....
and we swing by some drive-thru,
in the sublime hope that they'll be serving low-carb, nutritious delicacies...
But alas...
all we end up with is some old, fried 'fish wich',
slathered with tartar sauce and ketchup....
and a highly processed 'SHAKE'....
(Did you know that they are NOT allowed, by law, to call them
"MILK SHAKES" ??!!)
(Because they have NO MILK in them !)
 lol
And lets face it...
That shit TASTES AWESOME !!
But we know FULL WELL that high levels of bloatation and hip expansion will occur
almost IMMEDIATELY !!
Plodding onward, troops....
to 'green'er pasteurs....
on this rainy and highly presumptuous day.....

When We Awaken to a Miracle...

How did this happen ???
How did we get here ??
Just 10 minutes away from the CRAZINESS...
there exists utter peace and tranquility....
not to mention AESTHETIC BEAUTY....
Oh, my GOD...
Why did it take us so long to get here ??
What were 'we' thinking ?
In any case...HERE WE ARE...
CLEARLY at the other end of the rainbow.....
And there are CANDY CANES and DUCKS and lots and lots of GLASS EDGES....
juxtaposed against the rippled, BLUE  magnificence....
and...
EVERYBODY's SMILING !!!!
and when I honk the horn.....
they look at me as if I have 2 HEADS !!!
URBAN CHIC spaces....
plenty of SKATEBOARD room.....
and organic markets on every block...
MECCA ??
EDEN ??
hmmm....:))))))))))))))))))))

Ode Against an Antisemite,,,,...

It Never Ceases to Amaze Me....
how they can STILL be SHOUTING "ANT SEMITIC" rhetoric at the top of their lungs....
PROUDLY !!
LOUDLY !!!
EVEN after ALL the SHIT we've been through.....
I mean, seriously....
One would think that after the HOLOCAUST, these Idiots....these Animals...
would figure out that they are
ON THE WRONG SIDE !!!
But alas......
they remain CLUELESS.....
and DANGEROUS.....
and LOUD...
And so, my friends.....
WE MUST continue to FIGHT against them, tooth and nail.....
TO STAND BRAVELY AGAINST tyranny and lawless fanaticism.....
TO BLOCK mosques from being built on symbolic, nightmarish territories......
to NEVER let our guard down.....
TO NEVER SURRENDER.....

Adventure or Security ?

Are they mutually exclusive ?
Which do you prefer ?
the vast unknown, uncharted, unpredictable  ?
or..
the steadfast, constant, somewhat HUMDRUM ?
Would you like to wake up tomorrow morning to the concept of...
"having NO CLUE what was about to happen?"
or...
Would you rather awaken to your routine coffee, current events, tooth brushing 'same ness' ?
I know one thing to be true...
without exception...
The masses of people would MUCH PREFER the routine...
in its "safety" and "familiarity"....
the piece of mind in knowing that TOMORROW will greatly resemble YESTERDAY....
But MOI ??
I don't know, guys...
I've ALWAYS marched to a different, unforseen drummer....
The THRILL of not EXACTLY knowing what tomorrow will bring...
seems to be actually embedded in my DNA....
And SAME ness  ??
ehhhh...
Of course, certain things need to be dependable...predictable...
June following May....
The Mosque NOT being built on Ground Zero !
The housekeeper showing up on time !  (plllleeease !)
(I'm still waiting for that one!)
a speculum being COLD...
the Harlem River being COLDER...
A WITCH's TIT being COLDEST !!!
Well, you get the point...
But all in all....
The GREAT UNKNOWN ?
Yeah !!
I choose that every time....
How 'bout you ??

It is Wholly Advisable...

to continuously differentiate "their shit" from the actuality....
Often times, in conversation, we see a reaction....we SENSE a reaction...
a JUDGEMENT perhaps....
from the other person...
And in that moment,
we literally TAKE ON that reaction, belief, judgement...
as OUR OWN truth...
When in reality....
this is JUST THEIR SHIT...
9 times out of 10...
it has NOTHING to do with us whatsoever...
But we are an INSECURE bunch...
impressionable.....
so that ...
EVEN with ALL EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY !
we take on ONLY that little, singular judgement....
as an 'invalidation' of our worth....
eradicating the veritable PLETHORA of WONDERFUL and POSITIVE reactions....
(not to mention our own inner truth!)
Are you following this ?

It is SO Cleansing....

so cathartic...
to really FENG SHUI your life....
in order to LITERALLY 'make room'....for the new.....
I started to throw things away,
in anticipation of my upcoming move....
and there were shirts and dresses and pants "stuffed" into my closets...
that I seriously had not worn in 20 years !!!
I mean...
What on earth is THAT about ???
We hoard things...
like pack rats....
somehow REALLY BELIEVING that one day....
there will be occasion to wear that 1980's BALLGOWN again...
(the one with the 2 HUGE stains !!)
LOL
when we know FULL WELL...
that a LITTLE BLACK DRESS is so much more the THING to DO...
in this millennium....
Is it our HOLOCAUST ROOTS that keep us KEEPING ??
or is it just basic, human nature to...
HANG ON to the past ?
And NOW....
there is a MASSIVE PILE of pinks and greens and velvets and spandex....
on the floor...
where my dining room used to be....
The people at the local, homeless shelter....
will be THRILLED to recieve MY BALLGOWN !!!
RIGHT ???
IN TRUTH...
haha !
Even THEY don't want it !!!!
and so it goes.....

Yesterday a Woman Said Something....

that I can't shake off....
We were chatting about Truth and Telling the Truth...
and about how I'm so BRUTALLY HONEST, even about Myself...
ESPECIALLY about Myself really....
and she said,
"That must be so DIS EMPOWERING"...
WOW !!!
Dis empowering ??
Hmm....
I walked away after that, and that simple, yet PROFOUND statement..
OBSERVATION, actually...
just kept replaying in my mind....
Is it WRONG to be OPEN and HONEST about your own private affairs ?
Is it too ridiculously TRUSTING ?
Does it HUMBLE you TOO much ?
Can one be TOO HUMBLE ?
Is it a manipulation ?
Is there an AGENDA behind your BOLD TRUTH ?
WHY share it ??
WHY NOT share it ???
Are there times when it's just TOO SHOCKING ?
Too DISTURBING ?
TOO HONEST ??
Thoughts ?

As Winter Slips into its Annual Coma..

and prepares to hibernate for "Summer"
...it always,
BUT ALWAYS,
gives us ONE MORE REALLY COLD spell...
a SHOCK to our senses....
for it follows...
EVERY SINGLE TIME, mind you...
an unusually early, warm, Spring appearance....
I think it's God's way of reminding us NOT to be too CAVALIER...
about ANYTHING....
not to be SMUG about what we KNOW to be TRUE...
for truth is fungible and malleable...
it has different faces....different smells.....
NOTHING, BUT NOTHING, is written in stone....
Nature, as with everything else,
is FLAWED...
It is PERFECT in its IMPERFECTION....
The sun is shining....
So...
we, naturally, determine that it's WARM outside...
but nine times out of ten....IT'S FREEZING...
and we ARE UNDER-WHELMINGLY DRESSED !
ridiculously so....
On the flip side,
 following a COLD day,
we ASSUME that we need to wear HEAVY GEAR...
Seriously....
How many times have you been literally ROASTING in the humidity with too much clothing on ??
I don't know WHY I'm writing this utterly BORING BLOG POST !!!
LOLOL
Shabbat Shalom.......

I LOVE MYSELF.....

I am FABULOUS and WONDERFUL and BEAUTIFUL and MAGICAL....
I cut myself PLENTY of SLACK....
Because I deserve the BENEFIT of the Doubt at ALL times...
I am NOT ridden with GUILT...
Contrarily, I honour the attributes and characteristics that are so firmly established within me...
I am the VERY BEST ME that I can be....
I am WORTHY of LOVE...
I forgive myself for my mistakes...
I cherish the LITTLE GIRL inside of me...
and I have UTTER COMPASSION for her...
 I hold her tightly within the WARMTH of my ADULT arms...
and I comfort her in ways that she has never known...
I MOTHER her....
I RE MOTHER her...
The little girl and I become ONE....
We meld together to CREATE a WHOLE, SOLID, and HEALTHY WOMAN....
I LOVE MYSELF....

Here's Something You Can Take to the Bank EVERY TIME...

That no matter how much ALL points lead to the very SAME conclusion....
things will NEVER end up as you expect them to...
JUST A FACT OF LIFE, my friends...
and that VERY unexpected outcome is what makes it ALL so sweet, so poignant,
and so totally enthralling and titillating...
WE REALLY DO NOT KNOW where the next bend will take us....
And if we possess even a MODICUM of ADVENTUROUS spirit,
that magic carpet may come along at ANY moment
and essentially LIFT us up into the sky.....
And from this vantage point....
MAKE NO MISTAKE...
We will be afforded the esteemed luxury of
 SEEING EVERYTHING....
the PAST...the PRESENT....even perhaps a GLIMPSE of the FUTURE...
Don't lose hope, BROHEEMs......
The carpet's on its way to you just as we speak...

A boy on a scooter...

was passing by an alley between 2 old houses..
when he saw a faint flickering of some kind of fire....like a bonfire...
something about it peaked his curiosity...
so he stopped...
(even though this was not a neighborhood that his parents allowed him to SCOOT on)..
he walked back into the alley, leaving the scooter leaning against one of the old mailboxes...
it was drizzling outside...
weird moment...difficult to describe...
as he walked to the back of the houses,
he could hear voices singing....
it sounded like French....
almost like Debussy with words...
(the swan song)...(clair de lune)
about the swan's final sound....an eerily FINISHING sound...
just before death...
as he inched his way back...
just to take a peak....
he found 3 little girls...
they couldn't have been more than 8 or 9 years old..
they were ALL dressed in RED....CRIMSON actually...
(he thought of "blood" somehow...)
and they appeared to be ROASTING a LIVE BIRD,,,,,,a swan ???
over this pit of fire....
YIKES !!!!
TRULY the SCARIEST thing he's EVER SEEN....
they had glazed over eyes....
and the SWAN SONG was monotonous.....devoid of crescendo....
He got back on the scooter and literally FLEW home....
the vision and the SOUND of the WITCHY girls
 roasting the bird would haunt him for the rest of his life....
Needless to say, he NEVER passed that street again......

One Week Left....

til a whole new world would open up for the AUBURN people....
they'd be roasting s'mores on the fire...
skipping rocks in the stream....
picking daffodils and clover by the waterside....
they'd wear their pearls and diamonds and ballgowns....
and SMOKING JACKETS
EVERY DAY !!
they'd drive hot and sexy cars...
take trains faster than the speed of light....
they'd become MALL RATs...
WELL...
truth be told...
THEY ALREADY WERE !!
zip codes would change....
forwarding addresses would churn their way into the systematic rhetoric...
New York would cease to have them by the SHORT HAIRs....
And what of the ASSOCIATIONS ??
the relationships ?
the sheer 'ease of access' ??
They would have to just wait and see....
the GREAT unknown stood high above their heads...
Not forboding whatsoever...
Not even challenging really...
Kind of PROMISING....
LIQUID POTENTIAL....

It is widely known in ascended circles...

that casting coins into a free flowing body of water..
(in the beginning of SPRING)
while standing at the edge of "said body"...
will open up the meridians and channels of the "ethereal being"...
in order to allow SUNSHINE , hope, and COIN into one's HUMAN life...
While doing so, it is of VITAL importance to
SET YOUR INTENTION with regard to this symbolic ritual...
And ALWAYS, but ALWAYS, to make absolutely certain that
 NOONE will be hurt or scorned or damaged in any way....
as a result of your intention !
Furthermore,
the common practice is to follow up this "tossing of coin"...
with a FEAST of organic fruits...particularly YELLOW fruits....
signalling newness, light,
and the ever presence of GOODNESSSand MORALITY...
heady stuff, yet again...
I know....
But try it, and SEE for yourself
what the manifestation of POSITIVE, LUCRATIVE,and LIGHT energy..
can do for you...
YOU will thank me....:}} 

It's Springtime in the City...

and the birds are chirping...
and the DIET COKE is flowing...
and the stretch limos are on their way back from Atlantic City...
as the gamblers lick their 'well-healed' wounds....
and one guy is forced to pee in the ice bucket
 because the chauffeur is incapable of making a REST STOP...
And there, YONDER,
 you see
the sluts and hoes lined up on 10th Avenue,
 in search of fresh, springtime business...
And the HOOD...
Well.....
it's looking SUNNY....
amid the excesses of garbage and shootings...
and lootings....
and the women with the long burkas will surely be protected
 from too much exposure to the UV light of the season.....
(in case you were worried about them!)
The homeless are shedding their layers of old blankets and garbage bags....
allowing their WAR TORN skin to breathe in the light from the sun....
I don't suppose they'll be exactly SLATHERING ON the sunblock either !
What else ??
Hmm...Let's see....
traffic is a mess per usual....
Potholes the size of small HOUSEs line the magnificent avenues...
the turbaned taxi drivers are eating their greasy, shish kabob sandwiches
 and dripping them out their Windows....EWWWW
and then spitting their FLEM right out after that !!
while still charging a PREMIUM for the superfluous, luxury rides.....
Lines of Brooklynites and Staten Islanders are standing in line on BROADWAY...
hoping, against hopes , to catch a glimpse of a FAMOUS UNDERSTUDY.....
(cuz the actors are all in LA !!)
The potholes are DEEP and DANGEROUS....
The stress levels are TOXIC....
The Ever-Botoxed citizens are attempting, albeit unsuccessfully,
 to just SMILE....lol
What a FREAKIN' CITY......
I'm gonna miss it SO........
NOT !!!

They had seen eachother before...

she was certain of it...
somewhere in the neighborhood...
she couldn't place it...
but he was so familiar to her...
Had they DATED ??
Had they BEEN MARRIED ???
LOL
He didn't really match her criteria list...
He was kinda short...
and...uhhh...PORTLY ??
is that a word ??
LOLOL
nonetheless...
he had those eyes...
like a tiger...
GOLD....striped even...
He wore expensive clothing....
One would fully have expected an ascot around his neck...
a DANDY, in a way...
she had NO IDEA how old he was...
he had an "ageless" quality about him...
and she could have sworn that he had a little daughter...
she was positive she'd seen a girl, maybe 6 or 7 years old,
in a PINK coat...
yes...
she remembered that clearly....
He smiled at her....
familiarly....
DAMN...
What was the connection here ???
Whatever it was, it was POWERFUL.......
she crossed the street.....
Well......he'd have to make the first move.....

The Holiday of Purim...

What do we derive from this somewhat "odd" holiday  ?
What is the MESSAGE herein ?
We were, as per usual, ostracized and isolated by our enemy...
Apparently, the VERY SAME enemy that continues to challenge our very right to live..
EVEN TODAY....
INTERESTING to note....
that HITLER's bloodline,
GET THIS,,,,,,
derived  from the same TRIBE as HAMAN......
CHILLING....
Still and always,
we ,
 the NATION of ISRAEL,
 continue to thrive amid conflict and violent attack...
Perhaps even MORE SO because of a constant threat....
So the message ?
Be FRUITFUL and MULTIPLY....
Know thine enemy...
Teach your SONS to SWIM....
SURVIVAL, my friends...
plane and simple...
Be prepared....Be aware...
And through it all....CONTINUE TO BE JOYOUS...
for the LORD, your GOD, is with you perpetually.....ETERNALLY...
Drink and be MERRY on this night !!
Stamp out the name of the enemy with CHAOS and NOISE makers....
GOBBLE UP THEIR EARS !!! (Aznai HAMAN)
and they will stop being able to HEAR you....
Fill their ears with fruit....
and wine....
MESS WITH THEM.....
A HAPPY PURIM.....

and the SHABBAT QUEEN...

prepared herself for the evening to come...
dressed in all her finery...
HOLY....
holier than holy....
with her
cascading sheaths of white organza
and the pungent fragrance of oleander...
announcing her yearned for entrance....
She was REST and RESPIT and FAMILY....
She was the ULTIMATE entity....
signaling for the cold, cruel world to STOP...
and take stock....
for US...
to find shelter in the storm of activity and brutality....
and WE, en masse, prepared to WELCOME HER, yet again...
with open, yet weary, arms...
with open, yet weary, hearts
SHABBAT SHALOM....

A Relationship "Shrouded in Ambiguity....

Where did this odd friendship between a woman and a man come from ?
Furthermore...how did it morph into this living, breathing entity of its own ?
Had they been "lovers" in a past life ?
Brother and Sister ?
King and Queen ?
She shook her head hard.....
attempting to rattle and shake his influence over her right OUT onto the floor....
But nothing worked..
They'd have cold 'spells', where they wouldn't speak for days and weeks...
She'd pronounce, in no uncertain terms,
that she DID NOT NEED HIM anymore...
and he would acquiesce....in his quiet way...
knowing full well that she'd be back....
She'd ALWAYS be back....
And now, she was leaving town....
leaving their hood....
Could she really live without him, without their daily repartee ?
Perhaps more significantly, Could he live without HER ??
Time would tell....
She brushed a tear away as she typed her blog...
Time would tell.....

When negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade....

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade.. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.


A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot..

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"

He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"

I'm CALM....I'm CALM.....I'm CALM....

and apparently,
NOTHING can shake this demeanor from my most hearty countenance....
What on earth has happened to me ??
Have I MELLOWED with age ?
like a fine wine ?
Far be it from me to complain on THIS score though...
Let me tell YOU.....
Many a night was spent in utterly, 'dissheveled upheaval'.....
Oh, indeed....
Wandering through the darkness and murk...
night after night...
TORN ...
Literally torn.......between the 'good' and the 'other'...
What shall it be ?
Pleasures of the flesh or cascading torrents of GODSPELL ?
I mean....SERIOUSLY...
YES or NO ??
Will SCRIPTURE win out every time ?
Do we JEWs even call it SCRIPTURE ??
There's a cat on the roof....and it's HOT out here..,
and the "TSUNAMI" continues to rise up and devour the nations....
When will it end ?
This SCURGE...
This onslaught of ANGER........
I'm CALM......

The Big Oaf with the Scary Tattoos kept GLARING at her...

...daring her to write about him and his SLEAZY counterparts in her BLOG....
(Did HE READ ???)
Her "advance man", who came to protect her in these trying scenarios,
could not help chuckling
at the sheer absurdity of this recent DEBACLE..
One thing was for certain...
She would extract at LEAST a pound of flesh for this ELABORATE scheme that they'd
made the FOOLISH mistake of perpetrating on her..
OH..... YES.....
FOOLISH indeed.....
The Nazis came to mind as she watched the "skin-headed"
 service manager gulping down his prey
along with the GREASY CHICKEN and HEINEKEN under his desk.....
WHAT A disaster this thing had turned into...
She shuddered, as the two of them, she and her "protector",
 scurried down the block to the
RENTAL garage....
soon to be met with what can only be described as the result of a recent
"'FATWA'" issued against JEWs..
Plain and simple....
She had to think...to consider her next move....
How to deal with a CHEATING CAR DEALERSHIP....
had to think.......

And as the Grapefruits Tumbled onto the Floor...

She stood frozen.....turning a severe shade of purplish-red...
How could she have been SO clumsy ???
Jeeeezzz.....
She could NOT catch a freakin' break,,,,,,,,
And this guy was SO GORGEOUS...
Totally her type...
with the long, messy, blond hair...
and the rugged, kind of 'marked' face...
and the ABs........OH< SERIOUSLY !!
The ABs !!!
And he CLEARLY had been drawn to her as well.......
and she was being SO EXTRA COOL....
Thanking GOD that she'd taken the time to flat iron her hair !!
And then that 'ignored', little toddler with the mom YACKING on her cell phone...
just SHOT in front of her feet.....
too fast or something...
and she FELL forward, stopping herself from landing on the floor...
by grabbing for the GRAPEFRUITS !!!
WHAT ???!!!
And then the ENTIRE, HUGE pile came tumbling all around everyone....
hitting the toddler on the head !
hitting the neglectful mom's cell phone right out of her hand !!! LOL
AND THEN...
to make matters WORSE...
the store alarm starting going off !!!
and it was SO LOUD !!!
and everyone started running....
And "ABs guy" just up and disappeared into the crowd...
and she just stood there......FROZEN......
She drove home, annoyed and embarassed...

And here's what she found on her front doorstep....
There was a CRATE of GRAPEFRUITS with a PINK rose set on top of it....
with a note saying,
"You lit up that place"....
"I'll pick you up tomorrow night at 7"
signed...
""the guy in the supermarket...""

A Situational Bind....

Have you ever been in a situation where ALL signs lead to a conclusion about YOU
that is diametrically opposed to the truth ?
And you cannot, for the life of you,
 think of how to EXPLAIN your innocence in this scenario...
because NO matter WHAT you say,
you sound GUILTY ???
But you're really NOT !!
And you can only imagine how this is playing out in the others' heads...
how they are judging your 'mis deed's...
And it makes you CRAZY...
So you internalize the RAGE and FEAR
 over the sheer inequity of the precipitating factors,
 leading to the FALSE CONCLUSION...
But you're really, really tired of having to
FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE....
so you just retire into the shadows of your own quagmire...
silently....hopelessly...
and yes, somewhat stoically...
And then, when you've resolved that, "SHIT HAPPENS"...
and "LIFE ISN'T FAIR>>"...
something inconsequential just eradicates the full-on, thrown-down mess...
in its entirety...
and you sit there, scratching your head,
wondering why it blew up like that.....

Saying "Goodbye"...

Today marks the dawning of a new dimension in our lives....
The old life, the life that we created and re created
in the hopes of "getting it right"...
is on its way out....FINALLY.....
It's just a material trade....no worries, people...
Barter really...
Yet I see it as SO SYMBOLIC...
Truly, Truly, the end of an era...
and the beginning of an entirely, radically different chapter...
And WE are SO relieved...
We have been in this congested, foul place for FAR, FAR too long...
This place that appears to have been overtaken by "foreigners"...
(to put it mildly!)
Interesting to note that often times it is far easier to complain about a place...
(and to stay in it anyway..)
then to actually BREAK OUT of it...
It takes courage....It takes tenacity...
I dare say it even takes VISION.....
And I do possess that vision....
No self deprecation on this front !
And so.....ELECTRIC BLUE becomes the new beige....
and we move forward, hat in hand...
toward a FEARLESS HORIZON....

Still a SUCKER, when it comes to BAD BOYS.....

Let me begin by saying that I WISH ,
 more than anything,
that NORMAL, 'white bread' guys would appeal to me...
like BUSINESSMEN...
or
Accountants or something...
Ya know ??
I mean, WHAT IS IT ABOUT MUSICIANS....
 and specifically,
I guess,
 BASS PLAYERS
that is so freaking appealing to me ??
I remember a friend once advising me,
in a word,
""to NEVER,
under any CIRCUMSTANCES,
 date a BASS PLAYER!!"
LOL
I guess you have to know that world
 to find particular humor in that
 "pearl of wisdom"..
I'm telling you though...
Give me a guy with long hair,
a few leather bands around his wrist,
and a big ol'guitar.....
compounded by the fact that he maybe hasn't showered in a couple days...
(haha)
over a guy in an ARMANI suit ...
with his pedicured feet and slicked back, receding hairline..
ANY DAY !!!
What can I tell you ??
Shabbat Shalom....

A man came over yesterday...

and as he looked out my windows at the East River,
he made the comment that,
"He could totally see how I need to be near WATER...."
"And that the water was reflecting in my eyes..."
"and that the rhythmic movement of the current had LIFE in it..."
"and further, that I NEED that kind of rhythm and motion in order to thrive..."
And it stayed with me...
Now...You may be thinking that
"The Guy just wanted to
 'GET WITH THIS' !"
LOLOL
or....
He really astutely tapped into something profound....
Water...the color....the texture....the rhythm....CALMS me....
TRANQUILIZES me even....
And I really do need it,
 in the way that one needs Wind and Poetry and Vitamin C...
It brings up spiritual memory...
'genetic coding' or something...
difficult really to assign verbiage to....
But prevalent to be sure...
Water also STIMULATES me....my creativity....even my level of DESIRE...
being in it...around it...above it....
Perhaps I was a FISH in a past life !
Do you have this kind of Reaction to and Need for WATER as well ?

God's Presence...

Fascinating phenomenon really....
We ask and beg and beseech God to help us and save us and send down some miracles...
and we don't hear or see any palpable response....
And then...
we turn a corner...
and we 'let go', in a way...
I guess that I'd call the 'letting go', """ FAITH"""....
and something happens...
something seemingly random...
a bird flies by and WINKS at us....
or a pile of bananas at the local fruit market suddenly has an aura of ethereal gold around it...
in a 'GOD ly' way...
or a toothless vagabond smiles at us, KNOWINGLY....
in a way that only WE can understand....
smiles THROUGH us...
And WE KNOW...
beyond a shadow of doubt...
That HE is here....
watching right over our shoulder...
keeping us safe....
Brings tears to my eyes.....
This is GOD...
It's SO CLEAR...
HE is not hidden whatsoever....
One only need possess that "FAITH"....
that immeasurable HOPE and BELIEF that life will bring blessings and fruits....
that indefatigable ZEST...
I don't mean to PREACH, my friends...
Just observing....

The Dawning of a New Day....

That's how it continues to roll, my friends...
Just as you've given up hope...
Just as you've seemingly EXHAUSTED all possible angles....
Something opens up...
SOMETHING BIG....
and you have to do a TRIPLE TAKE...
'cause it's VERY hard to swallow......lol
this HUGE thing !!
and angels with harpsichords and lemon pies in their hands
start flying all around your head !
and the sun reflects off of the water in magical, rainbow formations...
and the checks and balances of life are very much in accord...
and you begin to recognize  the ENDLESS FLOW OF CHI and CIRCUMSTANCE....
and  meridians open up to accept the NEW, transformational energy...
And you DID find that check book !!
AFTER ALL !!!
and Spring is in the air......

Message from a Mother to her Son.....

I FEEL YOU....
And do you know WHY I feel you ?
Because for 9+ long months you lived inside of me...
Growing your life...
attached to my veins and blood and calcium levels...
And although clearly, we are PHYSICALLY and genetically attached...
there is another level of this attachment that is even MORE PROFOUND....
It is the Psychic connection...
the SIMPATICO....
The incredible level of empathy and sympathy and DEEP UNDERSTANDING....
wherein I house your very sentiments within my soul..
your fears...your joys...your sorrows...
your humiliations...
your HAPPINESS...your security...
EVERYTHING...
so that your tears are my tears...
and your feelings are never EVER brushed aside as inconsequential....
Know this, my son...
You are treasured and respected...
and LOVED....

A Matchmaker in a Small, European Town...

after much consideration....
decided to introduce a  CHICKEN and a COW....
although people would surely BALK at this potential coupling...
She(the matchmaker), let's call her SARA....
knew full well that these two were compatible...
The COW, a male,  was about 20 years younger,
 (but the ASHTON / DEMI thing had straightened that out!)
Their values, each of them, were grounded in moral fiber...
They were both lively and energetic....
(although honestly, HOW ENERGETIC CAN A COW BE ??)
They both LAUGHED at the same jokes...
Kept their savings in the same BANK...
ok !! ok !!
There was ONLY ONE BANK IN TOWN !!!
LOL
Nonetheless, Sara knew full well that these two would be PERFECT TOGETHER....
The chicken, (a female), YEARNED to feel small and dainty....
She'd spent her life in a family of PETITE chickens...
She was always the largest of them...
Hence, she had issues around weight...:}}
What more perfect match than a GIGANTIC, masculine COW ?
Right ???
Am I right ??
The cow was NOT a JEW...
but had been around Jews in the neighborhood from birth...
Sara was CERTAIN that he would CONVERT, if necessary....
Other than the difference in SPECIES and RELIGION,
these two creatures were a match made in heaven !!!
NOW...
Sara had her work cut out for her...
She still had to CONVINCE the two of them , (not to mention their parents!)
that meeting would be a GOOD IDEA....

So...
Sara decided to host a Shabbos dinner in her home...
and to,ever-so-nonchalantly,
invite the CHICKEN family as well as the COWs....
And UNDERSTAND ME CLEARLY...
THIS WAS NOT DONE as a rule !!!
""Never the twain nor twixt nor twither shall meet..""
(Who said that ???)
SPECIES stayed on their own side...
Nonetheless,
Sara KNEW that in doing so...
the SPINSTER ish, middle aged, chicken and the young, STALLION of a COW...  :}}}}
would meet and fall in love....
SHE JUST KNEW IT !!
Sara had NOT come by her position lightly !!
She knew her BUSINESS !!
And mind you, SHE WAS A thoroughly, MODERN MATCHMAKER!

Both families agreed to come to dinner...
It was an INTER RACIAL Shabbos dinner for ANIMALS....
The evening was a SMASHING SUCCESS !!
So much so that ALL the local tabloids (haha!!
 all ONE of them !)
 did a HUGE story the following SUNDAY...

The mixed couple met....fell in love at FIRST SIGHT...
and the rest is history...
Move over, ASHTON / DEMI !!!

Somebody told me today, in all seriousness...

...that I possess such HUMILITY....
WHAT a compliment !
Somewhere along the way, I seem to have DROPPED the ACT...
that act that we drag around for most of our 20's and 30's...
trying to BE something....trying to SAY something...
when in truth, the SELF would shine directly through the GUISE and HYPERBOLE...
 were it not for US getting in our own Ways...
I'm rambling, right ???
Sorry....
Let me attempt to wade through the muck here, and say it more succinctly...
If we WANT to GROW as humans....
we need ONLY open our hearts and minds to the concept of "new ness"....
of  EVOLUTION....of  ASCENSION....
ONLY OPEN...
What apparently happens when we do as much,
is that the information and experience and empirical data come WASHING through us....
even by osmosis....
and the result, STAGGERINGLY, is a REAL TIME form of ENLIGHTENMENT...
You got that ???

Leopards don't change their spots...

I suppose that it's human nature to expect, after long periods of not seeing someone,
that they would have grown and evolved over time...
What's that Alcoholics Anonymous mantra ??
"The definition of INSANITY....
is doing the SAME THING over and over again....
and expecting DIFFERENT RESULTS..."
True, true, friends...
People's inherent behavioral stuff, unless the person REALLY REALLY desires and aspires to change...
just stays in place....
Perhaps the behavior wears a new costume....
parades as "ENLIGHTENMENT and TRANSFORMATION"...
but unltimately....
the same old DNA rises up...(from the grave)..
rears is ugly, misinformed head...
and the MUCKY, JARBLED YUCK bubbles right up to the surface...(AGAIN!)
and we, unfortunaely, are transported back in time...
and are reminded, FULL WELL, of why we are NOT engaged with that heinous person any longer....
Expecting DIFFERENT RESULTS ...
HA !!

Among Ascended Spritualists and Healers around the world...

there is a team of "FIXERS",
commonly refered to as "The White Brotherhood"....
This has NOTHING whatsoever to do with RACE or CREED...
Rather....
this is a team of BEINGS (spirit) in white, lab coats...
who are called upon in DIRE circumstances to REjigger....to SHIFT...
the subject's gentic programming...
the "GENETIC BLUEPRINT", if you will....
to eradicate the presence of "NEGATIVE, energetic persuasion"...
in order to essentially FIX the manifest destiny of SAID SUBJECT...
I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP !!!!
I SWEAR !!!

So...it goes like this...
The shamanic drummer begins to beat his drum...
the rattlers begin to shake their instruments...
and we call upon the WHITE BROTHERHOOD...
to leave their station...
somewhere QUITE above the BUDDHA IC, STARLIGHT KINGDOM...

And one must be VERY, VERY still...
in order to allow them to penetrate our energetic and karmic field...
One can FEEL their presence once they have arrived...
(this can take QUITE some time)..
at which point they begin to WORK on us...
PULLING and SHOVELING and essentially transforming our Ethereal bodies...
CREATING NEW ORDER...
(while the HUMAN body lays there, QUITE DENSE actually!)
This is a form of "guided" "shape shifting",
 where the subject can LITERALLY be in TWO places at one time....

There is no question that blood and sinew and genetic matter are all TRANSFORMABLE...
and more importantly, that thought patterns and beliefs and indelible imagery
held LONG within this ethereal body can be re manipulated in ENTIRETY as well....
I DON'T KNOW WHAT"S COME OVER ME...
that I would share this kind of PRIVILEDGED information with you, my readers...
Suffice it to say that I am FEELING your need at present....
OK ???

And then the handsome GURU delivers the bag filled with magical incense....

and yet again,
we are transported to another REALM...
as if we've inhaled some kind of psychedelic drug....
.but NOT...
and the energetic floor begins to, literally, undulate...
rhythmically...
magically....
and POWERFUL , PALPABLE shifts begin to occur...
And we take a gander in the GILDED mirror on the wall...
and lo and behold!
EVEN our pristine features have shifted, ever so slightly, in order to
accommodate the EXTREME transformation that is occurring well beneath
 our  EYES and HANDS and AURA....
and HOPEFUL WHIMSY lines the ALTAR of dissemination....
as our attention is called UPWARD...
and suddenly, we UNDERSTAND "true FUSION".....
for it is INDEED in these momentous and ethereal moments....
that ALL THINGS become ONE......

Ultimately....

We have no one to depend upon,
 but ourselves...
And this fact continues to shock us ...
as though, each time that we arrive here, at this juncture, is the FIRST time...
when in reality, this message has pummeled through the atmospheric veil OVER and OVER again...
ad nauseum, perhaps...
Hitting us ever BLUNTLY over the heads...
So...
What are we to do when we ACCEPT this FACT as Gospel?
when we recognize the need to ACT independently ?
Not by 'posing' as independant people...
but rather by ACTING.....by putting living methodology and  cognitive inspiration
into the "ALWAYS", non-compliant scenario...
We must don our most creative and resourceful riding crop...
and ride into the battlefield, fully armed and prepared...
(however with what appears to be ZERO BACKUP!)
Too ABSTRACT, you say ??
You can't wrap your minds around the primary thesis here ?
It's simple, albeit disconcerting....(perhaps!)
or...
It's DIVINELY COMFORTING....
WE APPEAR TO BE ALONE...
with the great exception of GOD by our sides....
And in the end of the day, do we NEED more 'backup' than that ?

on Procrastination....

We  ALL do it...
We leave those bills, ignored, piling up on the console table...
(knowing FULL WELL with each passing day that they ARE LITERALLY GROWING!)
We keep that clothing that's been in our closets for 20 years (unworn!),,,
telling ourselves, at LEAST once a week, that we MUST get rid of it...
We PLEDGE to begin that DIET tomorrow....
(just after one more slice of pizza!)
We schedule important meetings LATE....at the last minute...
We cram for exams just before we take them...
rather than preparing in advance....
and on and on....
So...
Why ??
What is it in our natures that literally FORCES us to keep things 'at bay' for TOO LONG ?
I have given this lots and lots of thought....
(But I've PROCRASTINATED on sharing it with you !!)
LOL
Here's what I think....
I think that there's a FANTASIZE er within every one of us....
A little elf who whispers in our ears during the night,
telling us that the DRUDGERY and OBLIGATORY hooo haaa...
will somehow DISAPPEAR upon our awakening...
We then FULLY EXPECT that there will be a CLEAN SLATE in the morning...
(along with a mantel full of awards, celebrating our endeavors and achievements!)
But alas....
NOTHING HAS CHANGED during the night !
Hence...
another day of PROCRASTINATION begins.....
I AM YOUR FAITHFUL
"GODDESS XREBBETZIN"....