The dark man scratched his head....

Why were the 'intentions' not manifesting , as per usual ?
Why was the rhythmic smoke not spiralling upward toward Epiphany ?
And finally....
Why wasn't this POWERFUL, undeniable SHIT working ???
He had to open the medieval, 'Golden Book'...
Perhaps he's missed something....
an extra frog's leg...
another pint of goat's blood...
SOMETHING.....
A butterfly jumped out of the book as he opened it....
a GORGEOUS, FUSCIA butterfly....
Odd....very odd indeed...
What was this beautiful creature trying to tell him ?
He would brew up a CAULDRON of his famous "WORD TEA"....
The words would show themselves, as always, in the magical brew....
But first, before the tea....
he'd just have a little bite of the PINK, 'salt water taffy'
 that he kept in the cupboard next to the tea....
He'd STRETCH it out....
He'd pull on it....
And when it was pulled TIGHT.....VERY TIGHT.....
suggestions would undoubtedly bounce off of its taut surface....
This is tough to describe....
I guess, My Loves, you'll just have to TRUST me on it....

There lived a King...

in a far off land....
He had no siblings....
no heirs....
no friends,,,,
He had ONLY his CONSTITUENCY to keep him warm at night....
his constituency and his Delusions of Grandeur....
Why do I call them Delusions, you ask ??
I mean,
after all...
He WAS a KING....
So...
He had must've had SOME semblance of REAL GRANDEUR...
Right ??
Well...
the truth was...
No matter HOW much STATUS and POSITION he had....
No matter HOW many servants and officers and "paid lovers" he could commission...
(all for SHOW!)....
in the end of the day...
He had ONLY HIMSELF to face in the mirror,,,,
only his HOMELY puss...
his receded hairline....
his pigeon toes....
his portly body....
And his CADRE of GUILTY memories and HAUNTING issues...
So he sat on his AUDACIOUS throne....
his audacious, SEASONAL throne...
thwarting the peoples' humble missions...
Disrupting their attempts at ascension....
Pillaging Soup Kitchens....
Arresting loitering beggars.....(looking ONLY to feed their starving children)...
as he rode through the town on his RICHSHAW....
pulled and carried by 2 women....
(2 of his ex wives actually!)
Sucking down his oily, turkey legs....
Slurlping gallons of his MANISHEVITZ wine through a straw...
(He was a KOSHER king!)
Remodelling, yet AGAIN, his isolated castle...
changing the GAWDY MEZUZOTH....
for the ump teenth time....
in the hopes of changing the STAGNANT energy in the castle....
But try as he would...
the king could never achieve even a MODICUM of inner peace....
for he was ETERNALLY and PERPETUALLY DOOMED
to being on the WRONG side of the moral and ethical fence...
Well...
this is just a FABLE after all...    :}}

Big Mouths....

The verdict is in...
It would appear...
that after all is said and done...
there is NOTHING more DANGEROUS than the MOUTH....
The MOUTH is a WEAPON to be sure...
Mouths can CASTRATE...
They can WOUND...
They can FABRICATE....
Mouths can be infected with diarrhea....
for oozing, gelatinous 'waste' will continue to pour from them....
making it virtually IMPOSSIBLE to SHUT THEM...
Mouths can say IRREVOCABLY awful things....
They can manifest darkness into a beautifully sunlit day....
On the other hand,
mouths can COMFORT...
They can KISS....
They can EAT....(Is that a GOOD thing??)
They can cast niceties your way ...
But,,,,
the bottom line here is...
WATCH WHAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH...
Be very, very selective and careful....
for as the SHAMANS say....
"Words have WEIGHT"....

Don't Count THOSE CHICKENS so fast.....

Hello !!!
I'm saying it for the UMP tee nth time....
OR
maybe I'm actually saying it for the FIRST time !!
no matter....
Just LISTEN to me........
Do NOT calculate that succulent commission check until it's
 signed, sealed, delivered, cleared, and SPENT !
I mean it, Sigfried !!
Ya just never know when that dreaded, OTHER shoe will drop...
And at this point...
although I'm loathe to admit it....
It would appear that it WILL, in fact, DROP...
So what of POSITIVE THINKING, you ask ??
What of OPTIMISM ??
HOPE ??
BELIEF??
Well...
from where I sit these days, my friends....
ALL of these fine, idyllic concepts can continue to be incorporated into the
NEWER, SMARTER, MORE PRAGMATIC equation..
So...
What of ROMANCE and HAPPENSTANCE, you ask ??
Well...
This is where the whole thing gets just a tad blurry...
SOMEHOW....
PLEASE GOD...
We can learn to be PRACTICAL and CLEVER and PRUDENT even....
while still being PINK and FLOWERY and LOVELY and SPONTANEOUS ....
Let me sleep on it....
They say that Aristotle did his best work under the covers!

They laughed and laughed !!

So much so...
that her ridiculous, creepy, NOT-so-sexy COUGH came back FULL BLOWN....
ughh...
But try as they would...
they could NOT stop laughing !!!
and it sounded like TUBERCULOSIS  or EMPHYSEMA or GALL BLADDER or something!!
I mean, don't get me wrong...
The subject matter,
enhanced by the esteemed delivery,
well.......
it was HILARIOUS !
And she kept on thinking about all those poor souls who never really had GREAT LAUGHS...
and that made her,
 for some unknown reason,
LAUGH even MORE !!
and this made her COUGH even MORE...
and she sounded like a
WHEEZING, SCREAMING, GULPING, HACKING " HYENA"...............
Hot, right ?
And she wondering,
 during these crazy episodes of hilarity,
whether one could actually
 DIE from LAUGHTER ??
and the thought of THAT......
sobered her up but quick !
and she STOPPED LAUGHING...
COLD TURKEY....
and then THEY stopped laughing....
and the rest of the car ride was spent in silence....

People can be such MONSTERS...

When the Rabbinical Courts
 told you to
 "GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING!"...
they were NOT kidding !
People can be SO BAD....
They will twist you up into a tiny ball of DUST and MUCUS and GENERAL YUCK....
the kind of 'yuck' that ends up in the corner of the room when you're sweeping the floor...
(that hairball thing !)
(it's ALWAYS kind of a grey-mauve color!)
lol
They will spit on you and yell at you and CHEAT you out of your 'hard earned' compensation...
But in the end....
TRUTH will ALWAYS win out...
TRUTH and JUSTICE and VACUUM CLEANERS...
I mean...
WHO even USES a BROOM today ??
Right ???
Interestingly...
you continue to believe in the HUMAN CONDITION....
in the HEART of the people...
Hence....
you continue to walk in, put your best foot forward...
and hope for INTEGRITY and MORAL FIBER...
And there will come a day...
(here's hoping!)
when SOMEONE...
SOMEWHERE...
will actually MERIT the blind faith which you've so graciously bestowed upon them...
Until then...
What can I say ?
Just keep on truckin'...
Keep on eating those sugar free Jellos...(kosher!)
The South will rise again....

and it just goes like that...

and projects appear...
and mutual Yiddish ers begin to RISE UP...
out of the ashes of last year's Deluge....
and the keyboard of your life continues to find SHAPE and GIRTH...
within its own polarities of BLACK and WHITE...
defined very much by clandestine tales of woe....
and,,,,
Illusion meets Delusion...
And ALL things appropriate are MEDICATED and ANESTHETIZED...
in order to segue into
HARSH REALITY....
and so on....
Shabbat Shalom...

The Forces of the Universe......(For Esther)

are PROFOUND...
in their incredibly presice way of honing in.....
And one really never knows the sheer MAGNITUDE of such forces...
until...
(generally speaking...)
they develop their own brand of hindsight....
at which point,
 they can SURELY recognize the HAND of GOD.....
having whittled the scenario down to its most common denomintor...
Yup....
So...
I've seen the DIVINE workings as recently as TODAY....
I'm one of the LUCKY ones...
for I KNOW FULL WELL when there is a metaphysical presence
shining down upon my head...
I can almost SEE it...
and certainly,
from the MIRACULOUS nature of the precipitating factors herein...
I can OWN it ...in my heart....
DO you understand what I'm telling you ???
Simply this....
These days are FRAUGHT with WONDER and MAGIC...
and old friends showing up...
They show up....
and life twirls and dances magnificently...
right before your eyes....
AND YOU CAN"T MISS IT !!
(unless you have your eyes closed!)
So...
KEEP THEM WIDE OPEN.....
and they will surely reflect ONLY
 GRAND FLAVOUR and DELICIOUSNESS.....

For Esther....with Gratitude and Love......

Demagogues and Naysayers...

EVERYBODY's got an opinion....
and EVERYBODY claims to be an expert...
on EVERYTHING...
But how do you really decipher the factual truth from convenient illusion ?
I mean, let's face it...
ANYBODY can say ANYTHING that they feel like saying....
If a tree falls in suburbia...
and the ONLY one there to HEAR it is a BLIND MUTE....
and the BLIND MUTE simply cannot convey the experience of actually having HEARD it...
Has it REALLY FALLEN ??
lol
I have NO IDEA why I just typed that !
However...
If a guy wants to claim himself an EXPERT on a given topic...
and he then hurls GINORMOUS amounts of  Hooo Haaa at you...
in order to lend credence to his afore-mentioned hypothesis..
Well...
I mean...
ANYBODY with a computer,
 or even a small, hand held DEVICE...
can GOOGLE just about ANYTHING...
and find SOME tidbit of supporting information for
WHATEVER it is that they're attempting to shove down your throat....
(or UP YOUR ASS....(on a case-to-case basis!))
What's more dangerous, Folks ??
SUGAR or SPLENDA ?
SOY or MARIJUANA ???
We can spend the rest of our lives collecting the data to support either side, right ???
But in the end...
it all comes down to CHOICE...
to what we CHOOSE to believe....
ok ??
ok ??

We were all SO BUSY...

and poor Mrs. Platypus was ALONE...
laying her eggs.....
ALONE !
in the covetted , Australian Gardens of the WHITE HOUSE...
WE...
(the BUSY ones)
were dining with President and Mrs. Obama...
It is interesting to note here...
that Michelle Obama and Ruthie Platypus were VERY, VERY CLOSE at one time...
But the POSITION of FIRST LADY had CLEARLY..
gone to Michelle's head....
To add insult to injury...
they were serving STEAMED, PLATYPUS EGGS !!
Michelle had hurt Ruthie in a way that
ALL the therapy in the world...
could NOT heal...
(although Michelle had offered GRACIOUSLY to bill it to the WHITE HOUSE)...
Was the PRESIDENT aware
of the sharp, caustic way in which his FIRST LADY
 was treating RUTHIE PLATYPUS ??
Nope!
Me thinks not....
He left the luncheon early...
in order to get in 18 holes of GOLF...
before declaring WAR on ISRAEL....
Just another day in the WHITE HOUSE...

Mars Energy....

RED...
FIERCE...
DIRECT....
unforgiving...
almost ACERBIC...but not....
FRENETIC in its way...
yet practical,
 and completely and thoroughly  MAGICAL....
Don't worry if your heart begins to RACE....
if the pulsations begin to pound so hard...
that you feel as if they'll literally LIFT you up off the ground...
It's just CRAZY , old MARS....
beneath the surface...
yet shining DIRECTLY in your FACE.....
Inhale HIS essence....
Own HIS vicissitude....
Yup...
Mars is totally, ENERGETICALLY MALE ...
LINEAR....
like an arrow.....
to the HEART......

The RAT continued to climb up the ladder...

with a SINGLE-MINDED MISSION ...
with DETERMINATION...
He was a KOSHER rat...
hailed from the "KOSHER RAT FAMILY" of Brooklyn....
He wore a Kippah (skull cap)....
NO TziTzit (fringes) though...
After all....
he DESPERATELY wanted to 'fit in'...
But somehow, he never did...
He was continuously and forever doomed to being the
ODD  MAN (rat)  OUT...
His climbing, although SNEAKY, to be sure..
lacked PURPOSE....
lacked DECORUM....
and certainly lacked GRACE....
and deep inside....BELIEVE YOU ME...
HE KNEW IT....
But he plodded along, in his vulgar and heinous way....
REACHING, ALWAYS,
for the "brass ring"...
Did this RAT believe in GOD ??
NO!! NO!!
Perhaps THIS, indeed, was his downfall...
his Achilles Heel even....
He had known great FAME and HONOUR years ago....
BUT...
as ALL rats eventually do,
he'd been FOUND OUT...EXPOSED...
So he sat,
 in his RAT MAZE...
his LARGE, EMPTY, rat maze...
taking COPIOUS notes...
climbing FRIVOLOUS ladders...
AGING...
without even a MODICUM of DIGNITY or DIVINITY....

Today is Day 17 of 'The 90 Day Challenge'...

I cannot even properly relate the difference in my life as a result...
What I CAN and WILL do is INSIST that you go to this address...
http://www.tobyg.bodybyvi.com/
You will thank me FOREVER...

Even with ALL the CONNECTIONS in the world...

in the end of the day...
in the final analysis...
it's NOT so easy to get what you need...
Mind you, it's EASY to get what you THINK you need....
Well....I'm not so sure about that really...
Having said that....
I guess that,
ultimately,
in order to GET that which will sustain you...
you MUST,
first and foremost,
figure out exactly what THAT IS...
This too....
 MUCH easier said than done...
Am I rambling ?
Let me say this...
We ALL have that 'annointed', RICH UNCLE...right?
(or at least I do!)
that guy who has been held up as the "anti-Christ"..
(or the ANTI MASHIACH, in MY case!)
the one who will ULTIMATELY
 """BE THERE"" for you ,
in case of "EMERGENCY"...
or even
 in case of ""NEED""..
that somewhat ELUSIVE, REVERED, "rich uncle"...
But let's face it...
not ONLY is he REALLY, REALLY OLD...
but truth be told,
 he's always been "kind of an ASSHOLE" !!
lol
Is he gonna save you ??
Seriously ??
NOT !!
So...
all that time you've been told that he'd ride in on his "trust steed"...
(or rather IN his "trusty BENTLEY"!)..
he's been getting MEANER and RICHER and OLDER....
and...
I have NEWS for you !
He's NOT gonna SAVE YOU !!
He doesn't even REMEMBER his own NAME !!
lololol
So...
What's the message here ?
(other than my own midday LAMENTATION ??)
Get off your ASSES, Amigos....
and DO it YOURSELF !!
Try to have a good day ...
and...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
I guess that leaves your potential for troublemaking pretty much WIDE OPEN !!!
xo

Onions Can't Help Themselves !!

They will ALWAYS make you cry...
It's just their  nature...
They're not mean really...
they're just acerbic and trite and ""terse""...
YUP...
ONIONS ARE TERSE...(I've been searching for "TERSE" context!)
duhhhhh
You peel off layer after layer...
and yet...
you're still left with this gummy, filmy kind of 'inner sanctum'...
It's Sanctimonious...
Yeah...
That's the yucky part...
But they have their benefits...after all...
They make STEAK taste AWESOME...
they make the breath of ICKY guys you're on a date with...
SO BAD...
that you PASS OUT,,,,,and DON"T have to deal with them !!
LOLOL
They are perfect in MILKSHAKES...
especially the VITALUS ones...  :}}}
This is a SILLY and SUPERFLUOUS stab at 'ONION RHETORIC"...
WHATTTT ???!!

My Dad (Zichrono Livracha)...

What a guy....
I miss him like crazy....
Today is the 7th year anniversary of his death....
I've always thought that "anniversary"
 is a rather 'terse' word to use with
regard to a death...
Well....actually NOT 'terse'...
(Here I go again!)
a rather 'callous' word'....
NO!
a ""FESTIVE"" word...
YES!
far too 'festive' for this kind of thing....
In any case....
while your parents are alive and (well),,,,
you have this kind of 'in house' security blanket...
they will ALWAYS be there for you....
(unlike virtually ANYBODY else)....
I think PARTICULARLY a FATHER....
Well...
Let me say this.....
I see more of my dad every day in myself...
some good....some ehhh....
and I miss him EVERY,SINGLE day....
but TODAY especially....
and I KNOW....beyond a shadow of doubt...
that he's WATCHING ME....
and that,
at least for today,
my SECURITY BLANKET is in place....
Shabbat Shalom

The Fly on your Nose...

We ALL have them...
those "hangers on"...
those people who just WON'T LET GO....
of whatever it may be....
the past...
the marriage,,,,
the grudge...
blahhh  blahhh blahhh...
They are,
as if...
one of those UTTERLY annoying flies...
innocuous in a way...
yet DANGEROUS in another...
but EVER PRESENT,
 to be sure....
And no matter WHAT you do...
you CANNOT shake them....
You try...
IGNORING THEM....
INSULTING THEM....
COMPLIMENTING THEM on their ability to "move on"...
Giving them LIE DETECTOR tests...
lol
But NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO....
they just won't go AWAY !!
So...
THEY STAY...
just like the fly who snuck into the house in the beginning of the summer....
He lives there ,
 with YOU,
on the TIP of your nose...
on your arm....
essentially UP YOUR ASS....
lolol
FOR MONTHS ON END....
He's ON you EVERY NIGHT...lol
Until one day....
when the windows are inadvertently opened....
and he thinks he SEES....(can flies SEE ?)
something that looks like a GREENER PASTURE....
So...
he FINALLY heads out....
and you CLOSE that window VERY QUICKLY....
VERY TIGHLY...
But somewhere...
in the recesses of your mind...
you KNOW,
full well,
that He'll be back....
and the knowledge makes you CRINGE......
Shut your doors and windows, my friends....
PROTECT YOURSELVES from the FLY.....

Perplexed and Utterly Dehydrated....

The volatile nature of these perplexing days can only be attributed
to the unusual Jupiter influences in the stars....
These kinds of stellar configurations..
can...
(believe it or not....)
leave one somewhat DE HYDRATED...
devoid of JUICE and WATER...
One's eyes can become exceedingly dry....
ones hair, skin, etc...
not to mention,
ones imagination, problem solving abilities, and so on...
So...
What can we do to combat this HIGHLY INFLUENTIAL clustering
of astrological influences ?
Well...
first and foremost....
WE MUST DRINK veritable GALLONS of water....
I know, it sounds trite, common even....
But water can ACTUALLY FLUSH OUT certain kinds of 'lower energies'....
Ahhh...
it would take me DAYS and WEEKS to explain how this can be possible...
But...
just for now....
please...
TRUST ME ON THIS....
Water...in its PUREST form...
is a kind of "anti virus",
in and of itself....
Next....
One must be ARMED with plenty of spiritual reading material...
YUP !
So that, at a moment's notice,
one can actually DE materialize the NEGATIVE forces with prayer, doctrine, song, etc...
I know...
yet again...
VERY HEADY stuff,,,
hard to swallow...
BUT 100% right on ...
I PROMISE...
Mind you, Jupiter is NOT evil, per se...
just convoluted...misleading...
ARM yourselves with WATER and WORDS...
and all will be well....

on Shavuoth...

Somehow...
throughout my life...
this particular holiday just snuck by me...
without making the slightest impact...
Odd really...
A meaningful holiday, to be sure...
but it just doesn't crack a dent in my 'celebration armor'...
And you all know,
full well....
that I LOVE the JEWISH HOLIDAYS...
I mean...
95% of everything Ive ever written, painted, etc...
revolves around MY being a JEW...
Nonetheless,
this one just doesn't cut it for me...
Maybe its this "90 Day Challenge"...
Nahh....this 'non sentiment' precedes the challenge...
Having said that,
BLINTZES,
for example.
are OUT of the question...duhhh!!
as are all those other CARBO LICIOUS  chazerei (junk)..
When I think of BLINTZES....i have this image in my mind of these succulent, albeit greasy,
rich, crepe-like items....
being carried by my mom and the other moms..
in huge aluminum pans....
DRRRIPPPING with oil....and OOOZING cheese and sugar...
To this day, I cannot remember WHERE they were taking them ! 
LOL
and...
at this juncture, the BLINTZES,
unforunately,
 (or perhaps fortunately!)
will be falling upon the deaf and HUNGRY ears of this fair (?) maiden....
Can EARS be HUNGRY ??
And then ...
there's the staying up all night to learn TORAH ...
ehhhhh....
I musta been absent that day....
So...
I will continue to search for meaning and LIGHT as this YOM TOV enters tonight...
as I down my ump teenth "CHALLENGE SHAKE"....
That's a promise!
Chag Smeiach...

Success is Elusive...

It's just the way things are...
You climb and climb....
in order to actually ascend to the MOUNTAIN TOP....
only then to find that the ACTUAL top of the mountain HAS MOVED....
Goals and Aspirations are ELUSIVE, at best....
The most prime example of this fact of life...
is the story of MOSES taking the JEWS from their long-suffered bondage in Egypt...
only then to be essentially QUARANTINED in the desert for some 40 years...
IN THE DESERT !
It was NOT a picnic by any means !
MOSES !
a veritable ICON for humankind...
The ULTIMATE LEADER....
only then to be told that he would NOT be allowed to enter the 'Promised Land'....
Can you comprehend how this must have KILLED HIM ???
To spend your lifetime in SERVICE....
with the singular mission of bringing your people to ISRAEL...
to their Birthright...
to YOUR BIRTHRIGHT !!
and then  actually NOT being able to enter that land....
Not to sound totally OBNOXIOUS here..
(but lets face it, WHO does THAT better than ME ??)
Liken Moses's plight to me and my blog !!
lololol
These 24 hours without Googe ads were PAINFUL....BRUTAL even....
But, thankfully, I've been reinstated....
My clear mission is right back in place, people !
Now I ask you...
WHO DOES "OBNOXIOUS" BETTER THAN 'MOI' ????

Years and Years and YEARs.....

of my work...
STOPPED SHORT.....
in the prime of its profundity...
But, "Why?", asked the Brown Cow...
as she sat in her PEW (stall)....
"Ours is not to question", sermonized the Pastor from his pulpit 'on high'....
"We receive divine gifts..."
"without fully comprehending the MAGNITUDE or MEANING of said gifts..."
"This is where our FAITH must take over beyond our own yearnings and meanderings...."
As the congregation sat on the edges of their seats...
awaiting more prosaic, pastoral words....
a bolt of lightning struck !!
directly into the middle of the church !!!
The benches caught fire !!!
Everyone RAN for the hills...
Everyone with the exception of the Pastor....
(who ultimately would STAY with his sinking ship...)
His ego was deflated....as a flacid balloon......
He who waited with baited breath for his weekly chance to regale his audience with
PIERCING DIVINATION and the likes...
All this because of MY FREAKIN" BLOG !!

So theres a haircutter in this new salon in my building...

and he seemed 'OK'...
kind of square....
but pretty NON-objectionable,  I guess...
and I went in to make an appointment for a haircut, color, etc....
and it was fine...(KINDA)
but for some reason, I had a weird vibe about it....
and i couldn't put my finger on it...
It may have been just simply an example of that adage ..
"Never ask an OLD MAID for marriage advice"...
LOL
So....By the same token,

(in TOBY language),
"Don't go to a SQUARE dude for a cool, up-to-date, hair style..."
Right ???
So...
I figured,
against my own better judgment,
I'd give him a try anyway...
The thing is that I overslept....
by just a few minutes....
and I ran to get there,
 making it literally 10 minutes later than the appointed time....
and this innocuous, quiet hairdresser was INCENSED...
HOW DARE I COME 10 MINUTES LATE !!!
and suddenly....
I noticed that he was an ARAB....
(I don't know WHY I hadn't seen it before...)
and of course, the JEW in me came up defiantly....
and I turned on my heel...
and I RAN OUT of the place....
That's it....
That's all I got......

I'm just BESIDE MYSELF....

with glee and excitement and spectacle !!!
And....
Theres a lady named ANDREA...
who KNOWS HAIR.....
like nobody's business !!
And she's right here !!
RIGHT HERE
 in MY hood !
And guess what ???
MY HAIR looks AWESOME !!!
It's all brown and blond and shiny and wholesome....
YUP!!
WHOLESOME...
This ""90 Day Challenge"" is SO working...
And Dudes...
I'm here to tell you...
I FEEL FABULOUS !!!
I highly highly recommend this diet....
Transformation occurs almost instantaneously !!
and guess what else ??
OK...
I can't think of anything....
But this is SO FREAKING KEWWWL !!
and the days are warm and balmy...
and the humidity's NOT bothering me !!!
for the FIRST time in MY LIFE !!!
and everything's comin' up roses...
Yesssirrrreeee....

Being in two places at one time...

Shamans and Healers everywhere practice daily
the art of
"being in two places at one time"...
This follows the same relative principle as
the soul leaving the body at the time of death...
I'll never forget when my father,(rest in peace),
was in the hospital...
on his last day...
As I stood over his bed,
I LITERALLY saw
his essence moving away from his physical body...
gradually really...
but LITERALLY...
 conspicuously ...
To the extent that...
He began NOT to look like himself at all...
I'm sure that some of you have experienced this kind of moment...
I think we can all safely agree...
that the body left in the coffin in the ground
has detached from the essence of the person...(or the soul)
It seems so OBVIOUS to me...
(but then, LOTS of things seem obvious to me!)
In any case,
there is an art form, as such...
of shifting from one field of energy to another...
while lying perfectly still...
the 'dense' body remaining grounded...
while the 'ethereal' body ascends to other dimensions...
It's actually a VERY good way to clear out the cobwebs!
It takes ALOT of practice though....
just food for thought....

Yup.......it's all happening verrrry fast !!!

When it rains, it certainly does pour !!
and lemme tell you, brothaaas...
 I just stepped in from a massive, rain storm...
and I'm freakin' SOAKED...
DRENCHED...
through and through...
So...
What should one do when an avalanche of issues comes hurling at them all at once ?
mmm...maybe 'issue' is not the right word...
an avalanche of  'circumstances' ?
Nope...
Lemme think...
an avalanche of "events'..
YES!
Startling, life-altering, EVENTS...
Well....
may not an AVALANCHE....
(cause avalanches don't involve RAIN)..
maybe a 'smattering'...
no....too weak...
uhhh....
maybe an 'onslaught'....ehh...
maybe a 'cacophony' ?
NO....NO...
too poetic and sweet...
Damn...
Remember that crazy Alfred Hitchcock movie,

"The Birds" ?
Remember how gazillions of birds came at people at once ??
That's the scene that I'm attempting to depict for you...
that kind of extremity...
Anyway....
 Suffice it to say that we are WAY caught in this
 'INCLEMENT HAPPENSTANCE'....
 without our RAIN BOOTS !!
without our umbrella ....
Are we...
Overwhelmed ?
uhhh...
Ya think ???
OK...
breathe....breathe....
sleep on it....
roll it around in that OVER-CROWDED brain of 'yours'...
Clarity will surely come with the dawning of a new day....
it really HAS to !
haha!!
We can hope !

Bad Charisma: A Fictional Memoir

The little girl sat alone on her swing...

in the back yard...
It was raining...
But nobody was calling her to come inside...
The house was filled with people...
They were all dressed in black....
And her sister was GONE...
GONE...
Mommy said that she'd gone up to heaven...
that it was very,very far away...
and so she wouldn't be able to come back...
EVER...
Mommy had been crying when she said it...
Her pretty face had been all red...
and there was black makeup smudged under her eyes...
This vision of her mommy had scared her...
Where was the happy, golden Mommy of yesterday...
Why were people in black standing around her house eating cookies ??
Why were they wearing SUNGLASSES on a rainy day ???
Why hadn't her sister said "Goodbye" ???
There was a man playing a violin next to the swing set in the backyard....
He had PINK, FUZZY slippers on his feet...
They looked EXACTLY like the ones that she had
gotten her sister last year for her birthday !!!
He was playing the song that the two girls had always loved !
She didn't know why...
But she suddenly felt like her sister wasn't far away at all...

Day 7........

DEFINITELY feeling thinner.....
WOWWWWWWWW !!
My face is like half the size !
This is crazy !
And my Brendan......looks like a different person already !!!
and the BEST thing about this '90 day challenge' is that you NEVER feel hungry !!!
Oh, my GOD !!!
I'm really getting SO excited about this !!
If you're out there reading this...
and you feel LOUSY about your weight, about the way you LOOK and about your HEALTH....
I'm here to tell you....
I've found the KEYS to the KINGDOM !!!!
Contact me.....
You'll thank me forever !!

Always go with your gut.....

Your initial sense of a person is ALWAYS, but ALWAYS,
the one which holds the most credence...
nonnegotiably so !
NOT your first impression...
because that can, often times, be misleading...
but rather,,,,
your first VISCERAL REACTION ....
the feeling inside of your gut...
NEVER WRONG...
I suppose one must master the art of distinguishing between the two....
First Impressions and Gut Reactions....
So...
What happens ?
We become disappointed...disenchanted...
by the very people whom we fully expected to fail us from DAY 1...
What does this tell us??
It's that same ol' advice....
Listen to you HEART...
Listen to your  Body's reaction to a person or situation....
Don't TRY to talk yourself out of FEELING that which you FEEL....
and for heaven's sake...
ACT UPON that intuitive part of you...
Put stock and faith into yourself and your instincts....
This will carry you forward...
No question about it... 

90 Day Challenge...Day 6...

Hmmm...
I definitely am feeling DE bloated...
a bit thinner...
I get full MUCH faster...
(That parts quite striking actually!)
and My ENERGY levels are THRU THE ROOF !!
This is a very different kind of transformation than Ive ever experienced...
MAINLY because it is NOT unrealistic...
because it promises to actually BE a TRANSFORMATION....
and NOT just a STAGE...
I can EASILY see eating like this forever....
It seems to be clearing out my thoughts as well...
Getting rid of the "cloudiness" from before...
verrry interesting....
My son, on Day 6 as well,
 literally looks like a balloon that somebody stuck a pin in ~~
I would love some more company on this  FANTASTIC JOURNEY...
Come on , guys....
Man up...
:}}}

If the fruit is not ripe, do we eat it anyway ??

Do we jump on things prematurely ?
Ya think ?
Would our own agendas be met with more satisfaction,
closure even,
were we to wait until a modicum of "ripening" has occurred ?
We ride around in convertibles in April...
just because there's one day that's actually above freezing level!
(and we ALWAYS get sick just afterwards..)
We count our commissions before the deal is even consummated....
We go in search of NEW MATES before the old relationships are even over....
We expect to have lost 20 pounds when we've only been on the diet for 5 days !!!
and on and on....
How 'bout we try this a NEW way ?
How 'bout we wait....and see....   before acting ?
How 'bout we administer a tad of PATIENCE to the scenario ?
What will happen to our rhythm if we change our patterning ?