Sunday, March 20, 2011

It's Springtime in the City...

and the birds are chirping...
and the DIET COKE is flowing...
and the stretch limos are on their way back from Atlantic City...
as the gamblers lick their 'well-healed' wounds....
and one guy is forced to pee in the ice bucket
 because the chauffeur is incapable of making a REST STOP...
And there, YONDER,
 you see
the sluts and hoes lined up on 10th Avenue,
 in search of fresh, springtime business...
And the HOOD...
Well.....
it's looking SUNNY....
amid the excesses of garbage and shootings...
and lootings....
and the women with the long burkas will surely be protected
 from too much exposure to the UV light of the season.....
(in case you were worried about them!)
The homeless are shedding their layers of old blankets and garbage bags....
allowing their WAR TORN skin to breathe in the light from the sun....
I don't suppose they'll be exactly SLATHERING ON the sunblock either !
What else ??
Hmm...Let's see....
traffic is a mess per usual....
Potholes the size of small HOUSEs line the magnificent avenues...
the turbaned taxi drivers are eating their greasy, shish kabob sandwiches
 and dripping them out their Windows....EWWWW
and then spitting their FLEM right out after that !!
while still charging a PREMIUM for the superfluous, luxury rides.....
Lines of Brooklynites and Staten Islanders are standing in line on BROADWAY...
hoping, against hopes , to catch a glimpse of a FAMOUS UNDERSTUDY.....
(cuz the actors are all in LA !!)
The potholes are DEEP and DANGEROUS....
The stress levels are TOXIC....
The Ever-Botoxed citizens are attempting, albeit unsuccessfully,
 to just SMILE....lol
What a FREAKIN' CITY......
I'm gonna miss it SO........
NOT !!!