Monday, February 21, 2011

so I'm driving home last night...

from dinner at my friend's house...
and I get off the FDR on second avenue....
and there's very little traffic...
but there's this car in the middle of the avenue driving, literally, 10 miles an hour...
and it's ridiculous...
dangerous actually...
so I honk at them...
and I drive around them...(not fast!)
It turns out that it's an "unmarked" police car!
The next thing I know, they are flashing their lights at me,
and telling me over a LOUD SPEAKER to
 ""pull 'the HELL' over..""
Mind you, at this point, I'm 20 blocks from home...
So I pull over and the cop gets out...
and there are like 5 other cops too!
3 in this car, and another cop car that appears !
(WEIRD!)
so I say to the guy, "What's the problem?"
because I KNOW that I did NOTHING WRONG...
and he says, "Uhhh...you were driving recklessly.."
and I go..."Dude, what are you talking about ??"
and he goes, "My name's not DUDE.."
and I go, "There is absolutely NOTHING that I did wrong!"
"All I did was drive around somebody going WAY too slow..."
"and there are FREAKING TERRORISTS out there !!"
"DO your job !"
and he goes, "Have you been DRINKING?"
and I go, "WHAT ??"
(Those of you who know me know that I'm SO not a drinker!)
and he goes, "GET OUT OF THE CAR!"
At this point, I'm getting a bit nervous because I'm alone and it's late and it's a dark, empty street...
and I've hear stories about cops just WIGGING OUT on people for no reason...
So I go, "Give me one of those alcohol tests!"
and he kind of backs down....and says timidly, "That won't be necessary..."
and I whip out this SUPREME COURT badge that I've been gifted with recently...
and he starts to whimper...
I SWEAR !
LOL
and i tell him that I will have his job for this...
and I call him a complete LIAR...
and I tell him that this is PURE ENTRAPMENT !
and I ask him,
 NO !
I DEMAND
 his name and badge number, etc...
and he's FREAKING OUT...
and the girl cop in his car is laughing...
and GET THIS !
I go over to the police car, and I look into the window...
and I say to her, "ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT THIS ?", in the most intimidating voice I can muster...
and she shuts down immediately...
At this point, I can see clearly that I'm making them VERY NERVOUS....
Bottom line....the citation for "reckless driving" somehow gets LOST...(!!!)
and he tells me just to move on...
and he's grasping for dignity....
and I wait 'til they start driving...
and I decide to MESS with them...
and I start following right behind them...
and I can SMELL their fear !
and I follow them for a few blocks...
and then they abruptly make a turn, just to get away from me !!
haha!!
Bottom line...I AM ONE TOUGH CHICK......