Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot....

What does this mean ?
That we should "let go" of old thoughts ?
old friends ?
or...
That we can begin ANEW ?
That the things or people or circumstances that HELD US BACK...
should be simply
FORGOTTEN ?
Curious words....
a POTENT SENTIMENT though....
And what of the OLD ACQUAINTANCE that should NOT be forgot ?
Just meandering really...
down SPECULATION  LANE....
with my nose DEEP inside the COOKIE JAR...
Happy New Year, one and all....
May we RING it in with LIGHT and LOVE and PROFOUND CONSIDERATION....

Once upon a time....

in a penthouse far above the Hudson....
there lived a lady,,,,and a boy,,,,and a small, white dog....
Theirs was a COZY and MAJESTIC existence...
They would eat their dinner together every night...
They would light the Shabbos and Chanukah candles together...
They would play Scrabble..
and watch JEOPARDY....
They laughed SO MUCH....
They talked about EVERYTHING....
The boy played his BELOVED GUITAR.....
The Mother wrote and painted and cooked and worked...
She drove the boy back and forth to school every day....
Everything was JUST SUBLIME....

Until one day...
A VERY FAT...VERY MEAN man knocked upon the penthouse door....
He wore an oily KIPPAH and he smelled of LITHIUM and GEFILTE FISH....
He had a GROWLING temperament....
a sack of Chanukah DOUGHNUTS in one hand...
and a VERY LOUD and INTRUSIVE CELL PHONE in the other....
He said that he ONLY wanted to come in for a moment.....
He smiled in a "Grinch-like", sneering way....
Scaring the mother and the boy (and the white dog!)...
half to death....

There was a woman with him...
Nobody had noticed her, for she was standing FAR BEHIND the FAT MAN....
innocuously enough really....
She appeared to be HOLDING some sort of
of IPAD or TABLET or something of the sort,,,,
and she seemed THOROUGHLY ENGAGED with it...

AHHH!
She was on FACEBOOK...
of course....
A strong wind came...
and knocked the OILY GRINCH flat on his doughy face....
and the Lady in the penthouse closed the door SHUT and went back inside
to enjoy her family...


The End

Is a "mistaken marriage" a LIFE SENTENCE ??

Is it true that once you have a 'child' with a person...
 that the person becomes inextricably bound to you ?
and YOU to THEM ?
regardless of changing circumstances, divorce(s), 'insanity', etc ?

What if you've been a VICTIM with regard to this person ?
thinking, for instance, that they were ONE WAY....
only to find, to your utter chagrin and horror,
that they really were NOT AT ALL what they seemed ?
And what if....
you had attempted to CUT ALL TIES from the insane creature ?
only then to be reeled back in, without notice,
 to whatever "INSANITY du JOUR" was being presented on some 'silver-plate' platter of nonsense?

and what if....YOU CARED SO LITTLE ABOUT THE PERSON at this point,
but SO MUCH about your child....
that you were just willing to just "be nice and sweet and genuine" with them ?
only then to be MIS LEAD....MIS REPRESENTED to....
yet again ?

Understand me, people....
this is ALL TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL !!
REALLY it is !!
lol

So...here's my question:

How long do you need to have INANE and INSANE dealings with this CRAZY PERSON ?
Are you NOT allowed, at some point,
 to just
MOVE ON ????
AWAY ???
to cut TIES ???

Is a 'mistaken' marriage a LASTING PRISON sentence ?
 a LIFE SENTENCE ??
How can this be ??!

 EVEN EX CONS get the chance to rehabilitate....to move forward ...
BUT NOT ""divorced people"" ???

grrrrrr

Thoughts ?

So it goes like this....

She thought and thought about whether she had contributed to the "greater good"...
Had she done so with INTENT ?
Or had this merely been a product of  HAPPENSTANCE ?
Had SHE herself gone out in search of "people in need" ?
Would ANYONE,
 in the same circumstances,
 had done the same kind of things ?
And then she thought about how she ALWAYS rolled down her car window...
even in the rain....
And handed dollar bills to the beggars passing by through the traffic at the red lights....
And then she thought of OLD RABBI METZGER in her yeshiva...
And he had always told her that JUDAISM MANDATED EXACTLY
 this kind of GIVING ...
""without judgement....""
And then she smiled at her memory of him....
And she thought of how ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL
this kind of giving was....
And then she had a WHITE CHOCOLATE MACADAMIA COOKIE....
and then she slept.....
and SHABBOS rolled in ....
just like that......

Chanukah......

The considerable aroma of ""CARBS""
 permeates the front lines of Jewish homes throughout the land....
Blue and white, iced cookies fill the shelves of local supermarkets and bakeries....
The  shining and shimmering
 CHOCOLATE CHANUKAH GELT wrappers ..
continue to twinkle and invite....
Doughnuts have been filled with luscious, red jams and jellies...
An all-around FESTIVE and BOUNTIFUL atmosphere is in motion....
And then...
We see HIM....
the old man....or is he a YOUNG man ??
sitting on a torn blanket just outside the market...
shivering mindlessly from cold and hunger...
and our heart becomes engorged...just for that moment really....
and we wonder...
Is he somebody's BROTHER ?
SON ?
FATHER even ?
down....FAR DOWN on his luck....
hopelessly surviving from day to day....
and we WANT to help...
NO!!
We MUST help....
But how ?
with a sandwich or a LATKE ??
REALLY ??
What can we do for this LOST SOUL sitting here on the stoop ?
as we stuff our trunk with bags and bags of SUPERFLUOUS sundries ??
How can we affect any kind of CHANGE for him ??
DOES HE WANT CHANGE ??
And so...
we hand him a 5 dollar bill....
And our glove is made of the FINEST< buttery leather...
As we are VERY CAREFUL not to touch his dirty, pock-marked  hand....
and he mumbles some sort of THANK YOU....
and GOD BLESS YOU....
and we drive away....
We wipe the tears from our eyes with the same glove....
and we go home to prepare for the CHANUKAH PARTY....
And within a few minutes time ....
we've forgotten all about him....

Violet----Missy (continued)

In the end,
after weeks of searching high and low for Violet's mother,
Missy and Carmine came to the very sad realization that Violet was SIMPLY NOT WANTED...
that this magnificent little girl had NOONE who cared enough about her to be bothered...
Her mother had left the country with some man she'd met a month or so before in some mall...
Her father....well, that was Anybody's guess...
Carmine had arranged for Violet to stay with Missy over those few weeks...
That's why Carmine ALWAYS got the BIG BUCKS !!
She could finagle the system like noone else !!
During these weeks, Missy had become attached to the child....protective over her....
and Violet ADORED Missy...
They walked in the park....they read books and watched silly movies....
and they LAUGHED....
There was a hearing.....Missy wanted to adopt Violet....This was clearly FATE....
This is where the story gets a bit tricky....(to be continued)

When do we become 'our parents' ??

When is it....
 precisely...
that we happen to look into a  mirror
 (NOT the mirror at HOME!)
(an 'unfamiliar' mirror)
(usually one that we happen by on an escalator or in a store, etc...)
a GLIMPSE !
a MOVING IMAGE....
and for just a second,
a bat of an eyelash even,
we see one or BOTH OF OUR PARENTS looking back at us ?
Is this cumulative ?
Did it happen over time...
The presentation of genetic coding, and so forth ??
OR...
Does it just OCCUR one day ?
Randomly ?
Well...I guess not RANDOMLY,
(as we're referring to a pretty SPECIFIC phenomenon!)
In any case...
we've ALL been there...
in this moment....
in this WATERSHED moment....
when it is painfully clear that we are NOT KIDS any longer...
AU CONTRAIRE...
We've actually crossed over into the SECOND HALF of our life....
and so it goes....

The ART of SURVIVING the HOLIDAY SEASON....

We can all agree, to be sure,
that the Holidays afford us a certain 'latitude' with regard to
"licking our wounds"..
something like 'birthdays', I suppose...
We are granted,
or SEEMINGLY granted..
LICENSE...
License to FEEL VERY, VERY SORRY FOR OURSELVES....
License to be 'GRINCH-LIKE' even...
(for us JEWS we'll call it "SCHMINCH-LIKE"!!)
Bahhh Humbugging
(oyyy GEVALTING!)
 EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in site...
HOWEVER....
Is it REALLY 'license'....'permission' ???
or....
Have we simply ELEVATED this MIS INTERPRETATION....
this MIS GUIDED hoo haa......
 to heights
which turn out to be GREATER
than even OUR own PUNY EXISTENCES ??
Are you following me here ??
Do reindeer fly ??
Are the ANTLERS really SHOFARIM ,
dressed in RED ???
In any case,
we PERSEVERE....
as we seemingly have ZERO CHOICE....
We eat LATKES....
Drink EGGNOG ???
Can somebody tell me PLEASE what
EGGNOG IS ????!!!
Bottom line, my friends ??
Don't have a GOOD SHABBOS.....
have a GREAT SHABBOS !!!

So, here's a typical anecdote in my life....

one that I experienced only TODAY....

I had made a date, a BLIND date, for lunch today....
(from JDATE!)
The guy's photo looked pretty good,
and after saying "NO" to far too many others,
I took the plunge and said,
"OK"....
So I had this spontanious idea to meet the guy at WHOLE FOODS....
(I LOVE Whole Foods!)
I figured it's innocuous enough....lots of variety, etc.
Here's the drill....
I dolled myself up...(appropriately so for a 12 noon date!)
(no evening gown,,,,but very nice indeed...)
I got there at the appointed time...
and I began to have a "sinking feeling"...
but I really couldn't attribute it to much more than my UNCANNY, 6th sense....
I wandered over to the coffee bar, and ordered a 'hot chocolate'...
(I suppose that I had inadvertently positioned myself in the back of the store
in order to have the ADVANTAGE of seeing HIM before he saw me !)
There was a young woman behind a table offering "cheese"...
She said she'd made it herself, and she REALLY wanted me to try it...
But I just couldn't bring myself to do the CHEESE and HOT CHOCOLATE thing !!
ewwww.....
Anyway, as I stood there,
I began to tell this young woman that I was waiting for a blind date...
and that I was suddenly, irrevocably 'daunted'
by the idea that the guy could be a TOTAL LOSER...
and that I'd have NO WAY OUT....
And so, as I began inching toward the front of the store,
I turned and said over my shoulder,
"If he's totally gross, I'm coming right back here!"
I approached the front of WHOLE FOODS,
and there he was....all 500 lbs of him....
BALD on top....LONG, STRINGY HAIR on the bottom....
and OLD !!!!
I mean REALLY, REALLY OLD!!
I was frozen.......solid....
immovable....
Finally, I slunk and slithered my way over to the vitamin aisle,
hiding between the antioxidants and the natural laxatives....
peeking through to see if he'd left yet...
But....he remained seated....WAITING TO POUNCE...
Well, POUNCE could probably be a tad ambitious...
lol
waiting for ME to appear....
The guy who ran the Vitamin Department saw me squatting down ....
came over and asked if he could help me....
I told him that there was a blind date guy waiting for me, and that I could NOT escape
without him seeing me,
(as he was positioned directly in front of the entrance!) ...
The vitamin guy, intrigued, said,
"Let me take a look...."
He came back 2 seconds later and said.
"OH MY GOD !!!  NO !! NO !! NO !!"
"He is NOT FOR YOU !!!"
"I will go over and kick him out, so that you can leave in peace..."
WE WERE DYING LAUGHING....
Him at the ridiculousness of this blind date....
and ME out of some kind of residual guilt mixed with humiliation and hilarity.....
In any case, he ended up telling the guy that he'd need to leave if he wasn't ordering any food....
JDATE GUY left...
I was free...
OK ??
That's all I got for today..... 

To what degree do we DEPEND on others ?

Is it truly possible to be AUTONOMOUS ?
to rely ONLY on oneself ?
How much do we actually NEED others ?
What do we need others for ?
Can a person exist as a LONE ENTITY ?
Is that even possible ?
Why would one WANT to live in such a manner ?
OR...
Is it not a CHOICE ?
but rather,
a SENTENCE of sorts ?
a PUNISHMENT ?
FOR WHAT ?
What could one possibly have done to deserve
UTTER SOLITUDE ?
In Jewish Law,
 there is a notion of a consummate punishment called
 'KARETH'...
It means, literally, "to be CUT OFF"....
It is interpretted by our sages as the potentially LETHAL SYNDROME of
 "being cut off from YOUR OWN PEOPLE in the World to Come"...
a GRUESOME and  HORRIFYING consideration...
It is a punishment which is believed to be rendered in the most HEINOUS of situations.....
as a result of CLEAR, DISOBEDIENT  NEGLECT of certain, extreme commandments....
So...
my question is this :
When does  SOLITUDE become UNLIVABLE ???
UNMANAGEABLE ?
Is it, in fact, SELF INFLICTED ?
How does one break free of the ultimate chain of 'utter detachment'....
Chew on that for awhile....

Are we even remotely aware of the MAGNIFIED EFFECT that we have on those...

 within our field of energy ?
6 ft in every direction actually...
6 ft in front of us....behind us....
beneath the soles of our feet....
6 ft above the crown of our heads....
The field of energy is so profound,
that it can even be SEEN if one looks very, very carefully at the atmosphere
surrounding an individual...
And so....
our ACTIONS 'ping-pong' around this field...
bouncing, repelling, inviting....
REACTIONS....
Too esoteric for 9 AM ??
Ya think ??

Missy....Violet....(and Carmine)....

Carmine RUSHED into the supermarket,
seeing Missy and the beautiful little girl just standing there,
FROZEN in the aisle...
There was something SO POIGNANT, almost SHOCKING,
 about the sight of these two....
clinging to one another....desperately....
She was quite taken aback actually....
"OK"....
"First things first", she told herself,
fully detaching from the emotions that had so overwhelmed her ...
Missy was relieved, to say the least, to see her dear friend and lawyer arrive...
This was TOO MUCH to handle on her own....
Violet had fallen asleep in Missy's arms....
exhausted,,,,
Missy looked at the tear stained, little face....
in the beautiful, pink sweater....
Her heart skipped a beat...literally....
What was going on here ?
Was she dreaming ??
(to be continued)

Missy stood at the door....

waving goodbye....
a tear on her cheek...
It had been a PERFECT night....
romantic....
fun...
WOW !!
and he was SO....uhhhh.....
SO PERFECT !!!
How had this happened ???
Just when she'd thought there were only LOSERS left in the heap of leftovers...
a PRINCE jumped right out of the cake !!!
She would sleep well tonight...
She'd dream of roses and lavender and angels.....

A Tryptophan Coma......

obsequious obsolescence.....

An oxymoron ??

  And what of the others ?

They sit there on their laurels... 

judging...

verbose....

grimacing through their

triptifan-filled haze....guzzling EVIAN...

in the EVER=HOPE of DE BLOATATION...

in a shoddy, yet earnest, 

attempt at reaching NIRVANA...

Ahhh....the bell continues to toll....

The hunchback has brought his lunch

in a BIG BROWN BAG...

Stuffing...

although He is clearly STUFFED with

the STUFFING....

Ok.....so......Anyhoooo....

Here we are, yet again.....
at the ever-familiar juncture of DILEMMA...
I'm wondering whether...
" DILEMMA" ALWAYS necessarily connotes something NEGATIVE ??
for actually, this particular 'moment'...
is NOT NEGATIVE whatsoever...
It is, rather, PERPLEXING really.......
It undulates....in its uncertain stance....
It has created a life of its own.......this tribulation trial....
And so...
we PLOD forward...
in shoes made of clay and mortar and lace....
sprinkled HEAVILY with SPLENDA......
I mean...We still gotta look good, right ??.