She had never aspired to being an actress.....

It was never even part of the conversation...
NEVER.....
She had wanted to paint and draw as a little girl....
to be an ARTIST....
NOT A MOVIE STAR.....
And guess what ?
She had BECOME an artist !!
Yup.....
So....
Why were they trying so hard to FILM her ??
Strange.....Puzzling....
And all that drama bubbling up inside her.....
Would it....Could it..... be of use in INFOMERCIALS ?
What was going on here ?
in her perch just over the Hudson ?
She would really need to sleep on it.....
Perhaps in her dreams....
the answers would reveal themselves....

And the clueless receptionist said....

"Oh, NO !!"
"I couldn't POSSIBLY interrupt him!"
and I said,
"This is a MEDICAL emergency !"
"GET HIM !"
and she said,
"No...I can't bother him.."
"He won't allow me to!"
and I SAID,
"Get on the F**King phone NOW !"
"and GET HIM !"
and she said,
(ya ready ?)....
"well Sheik Abduhl Saudi Blah Blah is on the line with him..."
and I said,
"This is a MEDICAL EMERGENCY !"
"NOT a ""MUSLIM"" EMERGENCY!!"
and Guess What ??!
She got him for me....
yup.......yup.....

Watching all those generations passing through.....

Yesterday I attended a funeral of  my very close friend's father....
And as we stood there, graveside,
 I had occasion to really look at the family...
to NOTICE them....
in a way that one seldom can....
(because all were very still.....unmoving)
I looked at the grandchildren mostly....
And it struck me that these kids,
 whom Id known for several years now...
were no longer kids....
but young adults....
And I began to see, quite literally,
 that "one door opening...one door closing" thing....
And I remembered the verse by Ecclesiastes...
"For everything there is a season..."
There are moments, my friends....
when CLARITY is WHOLLY AVAILABLE....BECKONING even.....
when PERSPECTIVE is standing right in front of you.....
offering itself on a "Shiva Platter".....
when the potential for REFLECTION suddenly becomes the STATUS QUO....
What should we take away from these moments ?
Why is pain and suffering such a non negotiable part of our life ?
Is STOICISM better, somehow, than RAW EMOTION ?
Just thoughts....

It was hot....

The sweat dripped down her back....
It felt almost like a snake....a serpent....
crawling...oily......invasive....
The heat had overtaken her mood....
It had destroyed any "light hearted" possibilities.....
and GOD knew,in any case, those were few and far between....

She needed water.....a sense of dehydration had set in...
The water in the kitchen was room temperature....NOT refrigerated....
Damn.....
Shed taken that whole CONGEALING FAT thing way too far.....
She needed cold.....

Her eyes itched from the extensive pollen intake of the day.....
Shed scratch them right out of her head if she could....

All in all....
she was one miserable woman at this moment.......
The fierce elements had attacked her very sense of self....
It was, as if, 
she were observing herself from on high.....
noticing her own parched, allergic shell...

Sleep.....She needed sleep....
and Benadryl....
not necessarily in that order.....

A Chocolate Covered Life....

NO vanilla here....
What more can we hope for ...
 in this curious existence of ours ?
Chocolate covered scenarios....
Deeply, Darkly RICH....
filling.....
But missing just that hint of 'high fructose corn syrup'.......:}
And yet.....
We were indeed FREED from Egypt.....from Oppression....
Indeed.....
To the extent that.....(all metaphor aside)...
WE PARTED THE SEA.....
Yes, we did !!
But what awaited us on the other side ?
No pestilence,,,,No vermin,,,,
JUST MATZOH....
flat,,,,dry,,,,pock-marked MATZOH....
And guess what ?
WE LEARNED TO LIKE IT....
because, after all,,,,,
We were free now.....
no more slavery.....
no more bricks and mortar on our frail, sun-burnt shoulders...
QUARANTINED for 40 YEARS .....
Did we bring our Seder plates with us ?
Was JESUS at the meal ?
Were there peanuts back then ?
a swimming pool filled to the brim....
with MILK AND HONEY.....
Toss THIS concept around as you pack up those Passover dishes....
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS>>>>
ARE WE TRULY FREE ??

Here's the long and short of the story......

Leopards do NOT change their spots !!
There are moments...granted...
when they can SEEM almost 'SWEET'....
and even against ALL of the nay saying voices in your head...
the red flags,,,,,the private shuttering......
you can STILL be SUCKED IN......
BIG TIME !!
But here's the thing.....
None of it really matters !!
Because the long, drawn out, existential quagmire continues.....still and all.....
and THEY still have to live with their PERSONAL 'YUCKY NESS'....forever !!
and YOU get to walk away !!
So next time.....
when you are situating and allowing those GRAND EXPECTATIONS of yours to live....
(ie. expecting sleaze balls to behave like PRINCES!)
GUESS AGAIN, WATSON !
Re BOOT....
Re connoiter......
Re EXAMINE....the very SOURCE of those FANTASIES which you SEEM to hold so dear.....
and you will surely find.....
that it was all PURE FLUFF anyway !
The PROOF, as always, will be in the 'KOSHER FOR PASSOVER' pudding !!!
OK ???