is it LOVE, INFATUATION, or just this HORRIBLE president ???

times appear to be plummeting out of control,
with regard to the demographic and political
'complexion'
of our world...
in that same vein, however....
shockingly....
'our' capacity to "LOVE"
HAS GROWN...

".... a drop of rain must fall".....

and to that end,
regardless of circumstantial dogma and rhetoric,
a flower appears to be sprouting in the garden,
just outside your 'urban' window.....

you can see a hint of 'green'...the color of 'life'.....
if you examine very, very closely.......

amidst turmoil and angst......
your heart is 'aflutter'.......:}

can LOVE and WARFARE exist simultaneously ???

is there mutual exclusivity ?

the art of 'self sabotage'....

there exists a curious component to the human condition.....

an 'artform' of sorts really.....

the art of 'self sabotage'......

this insidious beast crawls its way in.....
beneath the bedsheets....
when your eyes are tightly shut ....

and it insinuates itself into your brain function.....
LITERALLY !

so that.....
upon awakening...
self doubt has eroded and pummeled  the
 "ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF HEADWAY"
you've made....
just the day before !!!

and "self sabotage" has LIPS.....
and SALIVA.....
and a HUGE HAMMER.....

and the beast actually goes as far as to
HAND IT TO YOU....(the hammer!!)

and it orders you to knock your "LOVER" unconscious with
your sheer determination and doubt !!!!

and in the heat of this battle......
as your "lover" is lying in
" a pool of blood and circumstance".....

you realize that you've been wronged !!!!

that the creature FORCED YOU
to destroy the beautiful flowers in the garden
of your minds eye.......

what to do ???

you are, indeed,
 a VICTIM OF YOUR OWN SELF SABOTAGE....

and what of the bloody lover ???

you must ponder and contemplate ....
you must !!

it's somewhat 'shocking'.....

that one can simply "turn a corner"....
and  be met by a veritable 'plethora' of new beginning ......

a beginning that has been waiting...patiently....

a basketful of sweets and roses and candelabrum.....
just inches away from the place where you've been standing
ALL ALONG !!

why didn't they tell you ???
they could have saved you from so much
 'anticipatory anxiety'....

they could have made assurances that it would
 ALL BE JUST PERFECT.....

they could have shielded you from having
 no faith left in the concept of
'LOVE'.....

but honestly,
 you really ALWAYS BELIEVED.....
deep down in the recesses of your heart.....

that LOVE would appear......

for life is meaningless without it.....

and so it has......:}}

the really INTERESTING THING is what happens next....

you get the whole, big, red package
of FUN and LUST and PERSUASION......
and VULNERABILITY....

and then you go........
"WAIT A SECOND !!!"
"WHAT IS THIS I'M FEELING ???"

as if an alien creature has clawed its way beneath your very dermis.....

and the creature has sprouted wings.....
big, pink wings....

and your insides are FLYING in PINK COLOR.....
in rose color actually....

and that's it !
that's all i got......

a rather 'abstract' notion....

I've been thinking a lot about how....

even in the most impoverished,
dilapidated,
and outright,
 DANGEROUS neighborhoods.....

there still exists SUNSHINE.....
and FLOWERS....

and the families,
 ""walking"" in those neighborhoods.....

they're still SMILING and LAUGHING.....

and then i drive through
 MY NEIGHBORHOOD....

the 'upper east side' of manhattan.....

the backyard of the 'rich and famous'.....
the 'HOOD OF ALL HOODS'......

and there are NO FAMILIES.....

everyone is off in their own,
very serious direction....

off to YOGA CLASS.....

or late for an appointment with their therapist.....

or complaining and arguing...
AS THEY PACK UP THE MERCEDES...
for their weekend in the hamptons......

WITHOUT the help of their loyal housekeeper.....

(she's off today !
 she's with her family, laughing and smiling,
 in the HOOD !)

IT'S A FASCINATING PHENOMINON REALLY.....

the juxtiposition of a few blocks.....

so what does this little vignette tell us ??

it happened one, rainy afternoon.....

SHE was sprawled out,
beneath the blue, diaphanous canopy.....
taking a 'cat nap'......
as it were....
 for but a moment !!
'on this rainy, hot, Friday afternoon'.....

and she awoke, with a start !

for he was standing over her....
watching her......
marveling at her beauty.....
with that DEEP smile in his eyes.....
and a crinkled, weathered furl between his brows.....

nonetheless....
she SAT UP !!
shocked out of her 'sleep state' by his presence !

there is nothing more frightening than awakening to someone
STANDING OVER YOU !!!

so she did what she always did.....

she HID UNDER THE COVERS !!!
and waited for him to disappear !!,
hoping, beyond hopes, that she'd been dreaming.....

and one could hear a pin drop in the room.....
it was THAT silent.....

but he remained,
stoically,
 resolutely,
by her side....

grinning....
for her childish fear was as endearing to him as
 EVERYTHING ELSE about her.....

he loved her....
in the end.......
he simply LOVED HER.

she could run....
she could hide......
she could throw crystal figurines at his head even !!
:}}

nonetheless.....
he loved her....

he decided, then and there, to
WAIT IT OUT.......

even if it meant standing in the same spot....
throughout the long, summer SHABBAT......

and so....
he silently,
 stealthily,
planted a kiss upon her 'covered' forehead......
and wished her, as always....
a
SHABBAT SHALOM....

they continued to PRY....and PROBE.....

they couldn't help themselves.....

they were bored,
 unsatisfied....

'WE' were EXCITING....
no doubt about it.....:}

but when are boundaries held sacred ?

when can we expect to have our PRIVACY respected ?

"NEVER!!! ??",
 you say ??

is privacy a basic, human right ?
or
is it a LUXURY
that few are fortunate enough to be protected by ?

is 'our' life an open book ?

ARE ""WE""
 'PUBLIC RECORD' ???

are our 'eggs for breakfast'
 and  our 'sinus infections'
 and our 'morning showers'

ALL
'PUBLIC PROPERTY' ???

we live in a 'fishbowl'......
presumably,
hopefully,
covered
by some modicum of
 'fringed prayer shawl'.....

we live in a glass fishbowl.....

they are ALWAYS
 WATCHING US SWIM.....

around and around we go....

her 'luck' knew no bounds.......

she had this kind of 'bubble' of incredible,
mind boggling LUCK....
and it followed her all around the globe....
she and her MAGIC BUBBLE !
globe trotting.....

it would literally INFLATE ITSELF around her,
with no notice to her,
and CRAZY, AMAZING things would happen !!!

was this GOD ?

supplying her with his supreme 'protection' and 'light' ??
in the most CONSPICUOUS MANNER ??

she was different.......
i'm telling you !!

a complete PHENOM ......

and the men ??

well.....
they were NEVER UP TO 'SNUFF'.....
for she was AN INTIMIDATION....
albeit an 'unintentional one'.....

and so it continued....

swirling and twirling with its 'charismatic appeal'
 and its ever 'raphsodic, blue motion'.....