(continued) The GOOD news (in the scheme of things!) was that she was in her own home....at very least !!

albeit sleeping on the sofa in the living room...
in the wine stained, green dress...
The place was a MESS...
knocked over glasses...some kind of confetti or ticker tape or something....
a pizza box...
a man's suit hung on the bathroom door...
WEIRD...
Why couldn't she remember anything?
As she began to awaken, she wondered if there was perhaps STILL another person in the house...
NOT a comforting possibility ...
She went to the kitchen, got a big knife out of the drawer...
(Better safe than sorry, right ?)
And she crept , with some modicum of stealth, (hard to be graceful with a hangover!)...
down the corridor to her bedroom...
AND..........
THERE HE WAS !!

She was STILL wearing the green dress....

The green dress from....uhhh....LAST NIGHT ??
Wait !!!
How had this happened ?
She could barely remember her name !
Let alone, last night !
I mean...
What ??
A BLACKOUT ??
She didn't even DRINK !
EVER...
And after a FAST DAY ??
What ??!
The dress was stained with what appeared to be red wine...
Damn it....Where had she been last night ?
The shul....the break-fast .....
and then WHAT ?
This was disconcerting, to say the least....
She put her hand into the pocket of the dress....
and she felt a folded paper of  some sort...
It was a note...
It read, "I Can't Wait!"
????

And we FAST....

and we 'empty out'...
and we reflect....
and we beg for ATONEMENT....
We are so sorry for our indiscretions....
We are wholly mindful of our mistakes...
And....
We take stock, so to speak....
inventory...
"checks and balances"...
We determine the weight and depth of our hearts on the measuring scale of "moral veracity"...
Or rather...
GOD does....
And we beg for FORGIVENESS...
And we PROMISE to be 'better' than before...

But what of our GOOD DEEDS ?
Do we MENTION those as well ?
Is it ALL based on our NEGATIVE ACTS ?
Can we be HUMBLE while still being AWARE of our own, innate GOODNESS ?
of our KINDNESSES ?

Food for thought on this NON FOOD occasion...
Wishing you ALL a SAFE and MEANINGFUL YOM KIPPUR....

The phone rang on the eve of Rosh Hashana...

It was a woman....
a very soft spoken woman....
I asked what she was calling about...
And she said, "God knows what you did for your mother"...
"God knows how you've honoured your parents"
"how you've obeyed his commandments"....
The crazy thing was that I was 1 block away from my mom's place when the call came....
I was stunned....
Who was this woman ?, I asked...
There was no response....
"God loves you", she went on...
"He will not forsake you"...
"He will care for you magnificently for all the days of your life"....
I had pulled the car over, sobbing, thanking her....
She hung up, said, "God bless you"...
I went to my mom's...
I told her the story...
Tears welled up in her old, tender eyes....
"You see", she said through the tears....
"I always told you, Honey, that God will NEVER leave you"....
My friends, I can tell you with absolute certainty,
 that I experienced a Miracle on that day....

G'mar Chatimah Tovah....

May this coming year END the cycle of Karmic Backlash for once and for all...
May the slate be wiped CLEAN as we enter the next stage of our lives...
May all things superfluous, superficial,
take their appropriate place at the BOTTOM of our list of priorities...
May our relationships PROSPER as a result of our new, enlightened ability to EMPATHIZE....
May ALL things  EXTERNALLY BEAUTIFUL be directly reflective of INTERNAL GOODNESS...
May our families and friends be blessed,
not ONLY with esteemed, good health and happiness...
but with a TRULY REFINED, MORAL COMPASS...
and a GRAND APPRECIATION of lessons learned....
And finally....
May LUCK ,OPPORTUNITY,
and the ABILITY to SEIZE and RECOGNIZE them as such....
 be forever ingrained into our MINDS and HEARTS....

G'mar Chatimah Tova,
Toby Gotesman Schneier

Choices....Consequences therein...

Is it safe to say that EACH choice comes with a cadre of consequences ?
Must everything in life liken itself to A+B=C ?
Is there such thing as a
"SOLID DECISION TO ACT"
 that comes with a PROPER GUARANTEE
of  'only'
 LOLLIPOPS and SUNSHINE and FLUFFY, WHITE COMFORTERS ?
Do the CONSEQUENCES live up to the ORIGINAL issue ?
Does the PUNISHMENT befit the CRIME ?
How do we KNOW what to do ??!
What makes one person 'wishy washy'...indecisive...weak...
while the OTHER person is QUICK on the uptake....
IMPULSIVE.....a RISK TAKER ?
Which is the ultimate BETTER position ?
Can CHOCOLATE be eaten with CUCUMBER SALAD ?
 ""TOUT ENSEMBLE""  ??
Just asking......

Missy and Max sat on the steps of the Old Bank.....

smoking cigarettes,,,,
eating Hershey's Kisses....
Canoodling......
while the aromas of tobacco....and chocolate....and wet lips....
 wafted through the sublimely, humid air....
One could only IMAGINE what thoughts were taking form in Max's boy ish/man ish mind...
Well...truth be told....
one only need take a GANDER at Max to see EXACTLY what was UP !!
LOLOL
And Missy, well...
She was SMITTEN....
He was SO DIFFERENT...
SO FAMILIAR...
SO HOT !!!
Yup...
These two would have MANY "Illicit THOUGHTS" to beg pardon for on these
coming HIGH HOLY DAYS....
Well...
after all...
This was the NATURE of the BEAST, wasn't it ???