Saturday, December 30, 2017

What a Year......

2017 changed EVERYTHING in my life....

EVERYTHING....

Mom, (Zichrona Livracha), dwindled into a shell of what she had once been....

The Alzheimer's had finally won the battle which she had fought so valiantly and with such a

FEROCITY TO CLING TO PRIDE and DIGNITY....

And in a heartbreaking moment, surrounded by the ones she loved, I, her daughter, her "TOBELA",

gave her the "permission" she so desperately needed to just "Let go, and Let GOD"...

And in that strangely illumined moment before death, she THANKED ME with her lips...

She mouthed the words, I LOVE YOU....

And then she was gone....

Off to meet ALL those loved ones she'd lost in her lifetime....

Off to rejoin her siblings who had died in Auschwitz....Her Mom...My Dad...My Brother....

What a reunion they must have had up there...

I felt, devastated, complete, resolute, and heartbroken.... at once...

To lose one's MOTHER....

That feeling of being utterly ALONE....

Well.... THAT happened.....


My son, My GORGEOUS SON, Brendan, graduated from High School.....

Became a man...

Began College....

Mind-blowingly shocking to my system... AND to HIS....

But absolutely what we hope and pray for as parents.... as Human Beings....

A Good boy.... A Solid boy.... Wise far beyond his years....

The light of my life....


We moved to the SUNSHINE STATE, Brendan and me....

He went off to college.... I went off to a LUXURY APARTMENT....

A HUGE MOVE.... a DARING MOVE....

SCARY as SHIT frankly....

But absolutely necessary....

I'll admit to extreme culture shock during those first few months....

IRMA attacked just moments after we arrived....

Lots of frenetic imbalance.... Lots to adjust to.... HEAT...

But a GOOD MOVE....No question....


Mr. Trump became PRESIDENT....

A SHOCK.... A JOKE ?

Remains to be seen...


My CAREER as an ARTIST BLEW UP.... in GREAT WAYS....

Shows, Exhibits, Museums, Galleries....

FLORIDA has been a FABULOUS CAREER MOVE for me... hands down.....

I've come to realize my PURPOSE on this planet....

To forward a LEGACY....  To REMIND the UN-REMINDED....

Gratifying.... VERY VERY Gratifying....


Old friends........BEST FRIENDS.... (Bonnie)...RETURNED....(as if they'd never been gone)....

We happily learned that TRUE LOVE and FRIENDSHIP indeed stand the test of time....

New friends.... GREAT NEW FRIENDS, entered the picture....  ALL good on that front....

Families come in all shapes and sizes..... (Gittster and Brookie)


I began speaking to my FAVORITE COUSIN, Lovely Amanda, after years of being apart....

Comforting and familiar....


Very recently, one of the GREAT LOVES OF MY LIFE died... I'm still dazed, confused, & in shock

over losing him....  Many unanswered questions.... A TRAGEDY to be sure.....


So.... That's what's up....

The EBBS and FLOWS of LIFE as we know it....

from the now-weathered perspective of  "a girl from Portland".....


Wishing ALL OF "US" a 2018 FILLED WITH

SPLENDOR and LOVE and HEALTH and ILLUMINATION....


Respectfully and Lovingly Yours....

Toby Gotesman Schneier









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