emasculation cookies.....

served up with a big, ol' mug full of

 'mother's milk'.....

just to DRIVE THE POINT HOME.....:}}

man bashing appears to be all the rage !!!

men being MANIPULATED and CANOODLED
 into subservience......
and humiliation....

all the while,
being UNDER
 extensive
 AMOUNTS OF
 bullying and goading.......

and essentially being
commanded to.....
 
'MAN UP' already !!!

these poor saps devour the freshly baked
 BATCHES OF
 'emasculation cookies'...
and then they end up
BEGGING FOR MORE !!!

and they so yearn to "MAN UP".....

they really do......

but it would require adjustments........
for instance,
they would PROBABLY
have to give up their favorite set of

 "red lingerie"!!

woe is me !

IT IS A SAD STATE OF 'AFFAIRS'
 FOR THE
"COOKIE EATING"
COMMUNITY......

he didnt know what hit him....

he couldn't shake her from his thoughts........
he was consumed with her.....

with the way her eyes sparkled,
mischievously,
 when she told one of her 'infamous' stories....

those crazy, coincidental, little epics that so defined her......

with the way tears came gushing out of those green eyes
when she laughed......
a laugh so 'hearty' and real
, that his heart would melt....

just being able to laugh with her.....
just having the privilege of her indefatigable company.....

he was 'trapped' ......
her prisoner.....
for she OWNED HIS LOVE.....

he felt only half himself without her.....
and COMPLETE only in her presence........

LOVE is a tricky business.....
nonnegotiably so......

and as they became more and more 'ENTRANCED' by the scene......

the penguin began humming a tune of 'celebritas'....

"ALL FOR ONE !!!"", he cackled.....
between gigantic bites of SARDINE PIE....

he couldn't catch his breath !!
HE SO LOVED SARDINES......

as passers by watched the 'melodic' spectacle....
it became apparent to all.....

that
 NEW YEARS EVE
 was
JUST
 around the corner !!

there would be noise makers
and.......
HAMENTASHEN !!!

oh, damn !!!
WRONG HOLIDAY !!!

there would be naked ladies jumping trampoline !!

and men in BANKER BLUE SHIRTS !!

there would be 'salutations'
and 'medications'
and 'matriculations'......!!!

and babies with tongue depressors.....

and civic leaders with unfortunate bouts of 'diarrhea'......
gleaned from the 'corn dogs' of YESTERDAY.....

good times were ahead.......
if only they'd
LET SLEEPING ELEPHANTS LIE.....

the fat, crazy bear climbed over the garden wall......

with a modicum of stealth.....
impressive......for a big, fat bear...:}

he had developed ways of maneuvering and manipulating the others....
they would give up their porridge on a daily basis,
in order to ingratiate him......
in order to 'honour him' even....

theirs was not to question....
for he was, after all, the KING of the ANIMALS......

he had stolen that title from the lion years before....
(or so he thought!)

nonetheless........
the 'lion ess' was a clever female.....

FOR she, knowingly, allowed the homely and clumsy bear......
to enjoy his 'moment in the sun'......

she knew,
 better than the others,

that his 'recklessness'......
and his glutinous indulgence in the 'COMMUNITY porridge'......
would ULTIMATELY
END BADLY.....

this was a GIVEN.....

the BEARS DESERVED TO EAT !!!
NOT FAIR.......
NOT NICE....

and yet, they allowed him to devour their only source of sustenance......

but the lioness made certain that
 'milk and honey'
 were delivered to
each and every one of their dens.....
on a daily basis.......

condiments of hope.......

a new day was dawning over the garden wall......

i live in a 'three ring circus'....

filled with LIONS......
and BEARDED LADIES......
and FIRE JUGGLERS.....
and shard ed glass......
and cotton candy......

we have an audience of thousands....
they watch to see who will survive the tumult and chaos......

they watch with their trusty binoculars.....
and their corn dogs.....

so that they can feel UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL........
as though they know us...:}

but what is it, ACTUALLY, that they are looking to see ??
of what interest are WE to THEM ??

so in the end....
they pack up their trailers....
and their RAGS.....
and their binoculars.....

and they set off for destinations unknown......
perpetual 'voyeurs'........

looking for a piece of the FAME PIE.....
looking for EXCITEMENT and DRAMA.......

tabloid and corn dog 'junkies'.....:}

and the little birdies leave the nest......

leaving behind empty coke bottles and dirty sweat socks.....
and loads of memories and jokes and coincidences and funny stories....

and the LOVE is so thick in the air......
and the departure is bittersweet, yet absolutely necessary.....

and you, for the first time in a VERY LONG TIME....
have space to EXPLORE the vast unknown.....
and to drink banana shakes under a tall, blue umbrella.....

children grow up....
and parents must aid them in their sojourn.....
with heart.....
and vociferous plenitude....

off he goes !!!
my sweet birdy !!!
to sew his wild oats......
(in a highly controlled environment !)
:}}

and he is the freckled wonder of my heart.......

ode to Brendan

 

she wore EXPENSIVE shades......

Cartier, I'm almost certain...

she had a kind of unusual stature.....
a very different style.......
in ways that could not be replicated...

actually she was impossible to 'clone'....
or imitate.....
or even COPY !

try as they might....
and they HAD tried !!
:}}

and she had this uncanny ability to
 OVERTAKE A ROOM.......

TO MAKE AN ENTRANCE ........
of grand proportion.....

like SCARLETT IN THE RED DRESS !!!!!!
 'misunderstood'.......
intimidating.......

she was bigger than life.......
TOO MUCH SO....
constantly having to live up to her own 'PERSONA'.......

somehow,
 inadvertently,
 she had created a 'MONSTER'
from her own image.....
difficult to explain really......


and her image WAS 'OVERLOADED'.......

with EDGE....
and GOOD HAIR....
and the 'perception' of SUCCESS....
and the likes.....

nonetheless.......

hers was a road of ADVENTURE.....
and DANGER.....
and sugar free Popsicles on sticks.....

and children came to life in her presence...
for the space around her was FUN
 and CHARISMATIC

and it always felt a little bit 'FORBIDDEN'.......
almost 'RADIOACTIVE'....
although it wasn't really clear as to WHY.....

and so.....

the BLUE CARIBBEAN AWAITED.....
she would pack up the Cartier glasses.....
 and jet off to PARADISE !!
just like that !!

and I,

loyal readers,

 am making a promise to you,
HERE AND NOW,
to keep you ever-apprised as to her
'goings on'....
and such.....

BUT ONLY ON A 'NEED TO KNOW' BASIS......
:}}}}

we watched the boy as he stood by the window.....

and it began to rain ......
the skies turning an ominous shade of grey.......
the kind of color that occurs before a major storm.....
before an UPSET.....

clearly......
 he was remembering back to that horrific day....
to that 'pivotal' DAY......

when everything had changed for him......

EVERYTHING.....

and after that.....
he was tense....
and reserved......
and somewhat uncomfortable......

poor thing........
poor boy......

EVEN things that we resent terribly have MEANING.....
and POSITION.......

and leprechauns with black hats and beards continue to appear......
in order to wrap the children in blankets made of 'parchment'.......
and 'commandments'.....

LEST THEY FORGET !

and time will move on......
having taken no prisoners......

as the last drop of orange juice for the summer is poured......

when the BAD GUYS aquire 'global' power......

and rivers are OVERFLOWING
and drowning their victims
in  pools of KARMA and ultimate 'FENG SHUI'....

when inclement weather is claiming houses
 and buildings and
GAMING ARCADES .....

when suicide bombers are arriving at their
intended destinations,
and indeed !!
FINISHING WHAT THEY STARTED.......

you begin to wonder......

WHAT ON EARTH IS MESSIAH WAITING FOR !!!!!????

i mean........wasn't he supposed to be here already ???
isn't that the teaching ??
OUR teaching ??

so what's up with him ?

do you think his 'mode of transportation' broke down  ??

are there more PRESSING MATTERS on his 'TO DO' list ???

other priorities ?

i mean, after all, we are talking about the MESSIAH !!!

HE must be very, very BUSY.....

perhaps HE can just

 "pencil us in" ??

a very hungry Xavier was walking to the kosher marketplace....

his mother had sent him there to buy a brisket for dinner.....
they so enjoyed the quality of the JEWISH MEAT.......

and along the way,
 he ran SMACK into
 MR COHEN !!!!
he could not believe his good fortune !!
for Mr Cohen possessed the KEYS TO THE KINGDOM !!

he had with him,
as per usual,
a HUGE pack of red and white BROWNIES.....
baked under CAREFUL, RABBINICAL SUPERVISION !!

with MAGICAL PROPERTIES to boot !

and enough FROSTING to feed an army ......
frosting made of CHOCOLATE
and 18 karat gold
 and organic cream and
'other secret ingredients'!
(there were actually elements of 'FANTASY' and 'PERPETUAL YOUTH'
baked directly into the batter !!)

and Mr Cohen had generously taken out two of his most FABULOUS BROWNIES, and given them to the lad.......

so the two of them....
the old, Jewish man and the young, Peruvian boy,
set off together toward the marketplace....
with Xavier feeling FAR BETTER than he had before....

for his tummy was now filled with scrumptious brownies,
 and his mind bustled with 'psychodelic imagery'.......

he had heard his parents whispering one night about
MR Cohen's BROWNIES.....

they were ALL THE RAGE at the Chanukah parties....:}}

"when i grow up", Xavier thought,
"i want to be EXACTLY LIKE MR COHEN !"

"and bake the KOSHER brownies
that make
 ALL THE MOMMIES AND DADDIES
LAUGH AND TICKLE EACH OTHER
 AND SAY VERY, VERY SILLY THINGS !!"

I LOVE MR COHEN !!!!!!!!

and an old, familiar feeling permeates the air.....

in the 'CHAMBER OF FORBODING'.....

and the wise man is still in place......
HE of 'all knowing'.....

and you OFFER out a "warm salutation".....
but he CANNOT RESPOND.....
for his is the 'high office' of NON FAVORITISM...

and this is a good thing......:}

'favorites' have "SHELF LIVES"......
(like mayonnaise and assistant rabbis !)

and you are PROTECTED.....
in ways that were quite
'unimaginable' and 'unattainable' in times past......

"FREEDOM" comes with a very high price tag......
but ultimately...

YOU ARE FREE...

free to roam the globe and chew on luscious pomegranates until the wee hours......
and  free to allow their red juice to CASCADE over your soul......
as if.......
the RED were a long lost LOVE.......

YOU ARE FREE......

lame ass soup.......

you made me a
BIG OL' BOWL  FULL OF
 "LAME ASS SOUP"!!!!
and you swore to me that it was
TAPIOCA PUDDING !!!
and i,
 as per usual,
 BELIEVED YOU !!!!

AND I ATE IT !!!!!!!

and now.....

I FEEL SICK !!!

because your LAME ASS concoction
HAD PEPPERCORNS IN IT !!!
and i was FULLY expecting
a SWEET TREAT
for having been such a good girl .....

WOE IS ME.....

and you served it up to me in a bowl,
 made of cardboard and insect repellant !!!!

and you varnished the bowl
with SALIVA and RUBBER CEMENT !!!

and i could TASTE the cement in the soup !!!

DAMN YOU !!!!

this is NOT ACCEPTABLE !!!

although, truth be told,
 there was something oddly ingratiating....
about the length that you went to....

to show me the "LOVE".......

so .....
this too shall pass.......

you'll do better next time.....:}}

but don't quit your day job !

a CHEF you're not !!

THE DUCK ......

was quacking out a tune, pining for 'commeradery'......
for kinship and harmony.......

for in these twilight years......
he had come to realize, full well,
 that ALL OF IT.......
 may have,
IN FACT,
 been 'for naught'......

what had he accomplished in his life really ??

OK.......
he had a very beautifully polished and manicured  BILL...

yes......
at least that......

and his webbed toes were always lacquered 'PINK'....
by the finest duckling salon in the Northeast region.......

all well and good........

but what of his heart ?

had he traded the yearnings of his heart
for a serving of 'escargot' ??
(FACT.........
ducks LOVE to eat snails!)

ours is not always to question why.......

sometimes we must just
"CONSOLE THE DUCK"......

for his is a lonely and arduous path......
waterlogged and YELLOW.......

and he may very well be

 the MAIN COURSE  at

your local, 'fine dining' establishment......

the one that you frequent !


ode to a duck.......

on fathers......

my father was a PEACH.......
a ripe, juicy, delicious, PEACH of a man......

complicated, to be sure.....
but SO loving and warm.......
and wise.....

and learned......SO learned.....

he sat with a 'book of psalms' in his hands EVERY DAY........ALL DAY......

my father could capture peoples hearts with his smile......
could capture their unwavering attention with his stories.......

my father survived Auschwitz.......a hero.......
saving countless lives,  while in the death camp......

my father was a GIANT OF A MAN.......

i will forever carry the gifts of his extraordinary countenance.....

in honour of my father.......
on father's day.......

the speckled giraffe.....

had nowhere to go, but UP !
so he hitched his RIDE....
to the caravan that was crossing the Negev......
in the hopes of possibly being able to help with the 'talks'.......

but alas, my friends......

Mr giraffe came up empty.....AND THIRSTY !!

because NOBODY WAS LISTENING !!!

he had come from a long line of 'peacemakers'.......
conversationalists.....
diplomats......

it was really in his DNA to,
 at least,
 ATTEMPT to reconcile the
"BEEF" OVER TERRITORY.......

his children were a 'mixed breed'.....
he had had relations with a HUMMING BIRD.......

a strange and beautiful breed of very, very tall, birdlike creatures,
with LONG NECKS and TENOR VOICES had resulted.....

and there had been plenty of judgment around this 'choice' of his......

but none of it mattered.......
for the nest was outfitted with PLENTY OF 'NECK ROOM'.....:}

it was a new world he was living in......
there were other giraffes crossing the desert too !!
they were dressed in burkas !!!

then he saw in the distance......
what could only be deemed as a 'mirage'......

a swimming pool, filled with HUMMING BIRD females
 in skimpy bikinis !!!!
maybe there was hope for the Negev after all !!!!

it was friday.... after all.....

and the birds were salivating......

and the ladies were STEAMING
 their best SHABBAT frocks.....
the ones with the slits up the front.......
in order to SURREPTITIOUSLY expose their knees.....:}}

and the security guards were attending to the metal detectors......
checking the batteries...
perusing the list of BAD GUYS....

one could never tell when a
"bad PIRATE"
could appear over the horizon.......
in shorts and a tank top......
with a LEATHER BAG slung over his shoulder......
just off the boat....

the BROWN COW with the velvety eyes
 was 'mooing' a song of DECLARATION.....
in order that the local 7/11 would prepare the MILK......
HER MILK !!
someone had to get paid after all !!!
IT WAS FRIDAY  !!!

and so they dashed around,
in bathing suits,
preparing and preparing.....

WE 'JEWS' ARE ALWAYS PREPARING.....:}}

BUT "preparing" for WHAT ??

and she called out....(the goddess xrebbetzin)...!!

"SHABBAT SHALOM UMEVORACH !!"

and as they paraded through the town square.....

dressed from head to toe in 'MILITARY BLUE'......

they were met by a 'less than gracious'
 group of  judges and
municipal servants......

and this small gathering of townspeople
 were FIT TO BE TIED !!
for as the proceedings had come to a grinding halt.....
so had the naked woman on the horse galloped
 DIRECTLY
through their midst !!!
singing a SHARP, FORBIDDEN MELODY
OF ALLURE and MYSTIQUE.......
and 'healthcare reform'......:}

and OF COURSE !!
 this DRY TOWN would NOT hear of such blasphemy !!

and so.....
they undertook to
 'IMPEACH' the HORSE !!!!

the very beast who had
 SEEN FIT TO CARRY THE
"dishonourable DIVA"
into their town
to begin with !!!!

there would be
NO SUGAR CUBES
served in the stables on this DARK night !!!

in fact, the NAG was halfway out the door of the 'white stable'.....

after all......
i might remind you.....
the stable was ONLY a RENTAL !!!

"disproportianate inertia".......

we have become prisoners......
LONE PRISONERS of small screens,
 situated on our laps....
hoping, beyond hope,
that these DEVICES
 will furnish ANSWERS to
life's perplexities......

let's examine the sheer "WEIRDNESS" of such an aspiration......

in times past......
we would GO OUT....

in order to fulfill our needs, desires, goals, etc......

WE WOULD GO "OUT"......

but ironically, today......

we,
 'en masse',
appear to be going "IN"....

it's really somewhat TRAGIC.......

and what of FRESH AIR ?

shall we pack our laptop into the picnic basket ???
in order to "STAY IN TOUCH" ?

are we having entire RELATIONSHIPS "ONLINE" ????
WHAT ??!!

there is something wholly alarming about this state of "INERTIA".......

i was JUST thinking that !!!!

sometimes.....
things are SO psychically charged,
 that it's somewhat impossible to
try to even SHARE THEM with anybody !!
so you sit, in disbelief, and go OVER and OVER
the details of the ridiculously COINCIDENTAL event that just took place......
knowing, FULL WELL.....
that you have been endowed with a GIFT....
a gift so extraordinary, that there are simply.......
 NO WORDS......
and it can be frustrating......
as "humans" do indeed, like to explore and discuss and dissect.....
but some things are PRIVATE......
and this, my friends, is one of those things.......

if this little BLURB rings true for YOU......
THEN TAKE HEED OF WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU....

as you grow......
as your 'enlightened path' becomes......
"ILLUMINED"....
the 'wealth' of this POWER.....
will begin to expose itself to you.....

I'M 100% CERTAIN !!

and one day.....
in the "not too far off distance"......
you will awaken to a veritable
"CORNUCOPIA OF POWERS"......
and you will KNOW EXACTLY
what needs to be done.....:}}

I HAVE THIS ON EXCELLENT AUTHORITY.....

close your eyes......
open your heart chakra....

the world is your oyster.....

whats the closest KOSHER thing to an OYSTER ???

THE WORLD IS YOUR "GEFILTE FISH" ???!!

and what about 'EXPECTATIONS' ???

are we ALLOWED to HAVE expectations ??
EVER ???
are we allowed to have
EXPECTATIONS MET ???
by elected officials ?
by our children ?
spouses?
parents ?
friends ?
CAN WE EVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM ANYBODY ???!!
can we expect good service in a fine restaurant ?
can we expect the car service to the airport to arrive on time ?
can we expect our friend to
 KEEP HER FREAKING WORD ????
where did this concept of 'expectations' come from ?
and when did it fade away ??
are they incongruously 'high' ?
should they be lowered ?
for practicality's sake ??

can we EXPECT ,
without feeling
'BETRAYAL' and 'TRAGEDY' and 'ANGER'
at the
'less than perfect' conclusion to the saga ?

and when the HELL did we STOP EXPECTING RECIPROCITY???
AND WHY ????
when did we lose sight of the FAIRY TALE ???
are expectations no longer 'in vogue' ??

should we 're configure' our lists
 of HOPES and DREAMS,
so that despair and 'deflated equilibrium'
will not ensue ?

pondering......

on being a 'player'.....

there comes a point in one's lifetime......
when 'playing' suddenly doesn't seem like the 'way to go' any longer.....
you've been there....
and you've done that....
and.....
okay !!
enough already with the playing !!

but what does this mean ?
the concept of 'shutting down'
 your 'PLAYER ness' ??
in its entirety ??

daunting implications, it would seem....
wracked with 'commitment' and 'long walks on the beach'.......
and 'HONEST COMMUNICATION'......

i know that it goes against all of your organic inclination....
mine too ! (truth be told).....

however, HUBERT.....
the time has come for all good men to come to the aid of
THEIR OWN DESTINIES !!!

and to TRY the other way......
(the conventional way........)
cause this one's not really working for ya !!

IS IT ??

when do we actually admit to having 'erred' ??

where do you suppose the line of demarcation falls out ?
when is that moment,
when we realize,
 beyond the shadow of a doubt,
that we've made a
TERRIBLE ERROR IN JUDGMENT ?

WHEN DOES THE ACT ITSELF BECOME SO HEINOUS...
that we MUST swallow our pride and cop to
 'having royally SCREWED UP' ?


there is a moment,
 to be sure,
when the evidence is overwhelmingly
coming down on one side of the issue....

this is THAT MOMENT,
for certain,
 when we, en masse,
 MUST accept the responsibility
of having 'erred'......
TERRIBLY !!

admit it...
OWN IT.....
apologize PROFUSELY for it......

and then see what can be done to repair it.....
(if at all possible!)

i believe,
profoundly,
that the united states has arrived at such an impasse......

for we have created an enormous amount of tumult and chaos....
in the name a kind of 'libertarian' freedom .......

change has occurred......
there is no question regarding that fact.....

but the change is filled with 'acerbic resignation'....

the change is FLAWED.......
terribly so.....

and we must,
again,
finds ways in which to survive the madness....
and the COMPLETE LOSS OF GRACE......

the GIRL and the BOAT and the INDIAN OCEAN....

i am so annoyed about this young girl, sailing around the world on her own.....
AT 16 !!!!!!!
i NEVER bring current events into this space,
 but i AM NOW !!

the parents,
these Cretans,
who allowed, and likely promoted,
this young girl to set out on a 'life threatening' adventure......

should be locked away for a VERY, VERY LONG TIME !!!

what are people thinking ???
WHAT ARE THEY THINKING ???
FOR GOD'S SAKE !!!

and these monsters, who are deliberating the 'details' of the craft.....
whether it was well made or 'made of Popsicle sticks'....

WHAT ????
WHAT !!!!!!!!!

parents are there to nurture and love and to set boundaries for children....
children are CHILDREN until the 'ripe' age of 18 !
PERIOD !!!

AND THESE "ARMCHAIR QUARTERBACKS".....
these guys chugging a beer back, while entertaining themselves with the
notion of BOATS ......
feeling for the parents.....
UNDERSTANDING THE PARENTS.....

these idiots should be thrown into the slammer,
 along with the
"boat building murderers"....
AND THAT'S IT !!
CASE CLOSED !!

what about all these 'self proclaimed' commentators ???

the thing about the Internet is that these 'potentially 'wanna be'',
 somewhat 'has been', characters.....
just RE CREATE themselves,
in a way.....

i suppose that sitting
 'behind a computer screen'
 allows them the freedom.....
the luxury even....
to PROMOTE themselves
as WHATEVER and WHOMEVER
 THEY SO DEEM FIT.......

from my point of view......
there are two categories which these
"INTERNET  PRETENDERS' fall into....

the first category,
 one which i can,
on some level,
understand and appreciate.....
are the ones who have found a 'platform',
to share views and beliefs,
which they are, INDEED,
100% committed to.....
with a veritable 'plethora' of people......
the sheer quantity of people reached,
 is almost 'unfathomable'.....
hence,
 giving the cause 'itself' more credence....
ok.....
like a 'pen name'.....
protecting their 'private lives',
while sharing important and critical viewpoints......i get that totally.....

it is the second.....
and more twisted type.....
that concerns me.......
it is the self-proclaimed 'GURU of everything'......
the one who 'seems' ALMOST famous.....
but really is NOT......
the one who has aged 'considerably',
the one who works, competitively, behind the scenes.....
to make certain that the
'newcomers'.....
are challenged and STOPPED.....

but she has run out of topics...
so she mentions silly,TRIVIAL things......
like sexy dolls and favorite movies......

this one is all about
SELF PROMOTION and CONTROL.....

try, my friends,
NOT to fall prey to this game.....
it's NOT a productive game.......
and it is NOT PRETTY......

they danced.....

ohhhhh, yes !!
they danced.......
and afterwards.......they laughed until they cried ........
and they ate chocolate.....
and wrestled..... :}
and they shared stories about their childhoods, respectively....
sad stories.....
hilarious ones too.....

these two were suited, in a way that made them, literally,
 catch their breath.....

their souls were aligned ....
just 'so'.......
one could FEEL IT....

and yet.....
and yet....

something was missing....

for there existed, in all honesty, an ELEPHANT in the room......
even when they were OUTSIDE !!
there could be no denying.....

the elephant wore GOLF SHORTS......
the shorts had been made from the 'challah cover'.......
on his mother's shabbat table.....
and he packed a gorgeous, antique watch.....
and he smoked a pipe....no less....

his tusks had been removed, in order that her piano be 're finished'.......

but no worries !!
an elephant without tusks is like a man without 'wisdom teeth'.....
very common......
very, very common.....:}

nonetheless.....
the piano remained 'unplayed'.....

and birthdays and anniversaries passed.......

simultaneously.......

in concert with tragic losses and car wrecks and picnics in central park.....

and THEY raced, on blades, through the irises and lilies and garage sales......

and middle earth showed its teeth, whilst the fairies continued to segue

into deep tales of Indian carpets and glitter and magical hookahs and

key lime pies .......:}

and rest totally assured, my friends.....

that poetic justice was imminent....palpable almost......

for the air was thick with emotion and political rhetoric and pink candles.....

and the children were packing their steamer trunks,

as parents yodeled and yelped in anticipation and fear........

and they baked a cake, made of 'unrest' and chocolate pudding and

flour less wonder.....

and she was off !!!!

on her next CRAZY ADVENTURE !!!

as the concierge in the palace of 'disjointed disclaimer' ordered

the first class tickets to PARADISE......

and, of course, as she turned the corner on the Harley,

she grinned and waved and bid each and every one of them......

"SHABBAT SHALOM"....

she was 'different'....

although they'd all grown up in the same 'pod'.....
hers was a world of ' Holocaust survivors' and 'organized religion' and
 Hebrew day school and matzoh ball soup......
yeah....sure.....
she looked like them......
she had the pretty hair and the perky breasts and the 'boyfriends'....
and later on.....
she had the coiffed hair and LARGE BREASTS and the 'HUSBANDS'......:}}
but in the end of the day.....
they lived in a simple world,,,,
of Starbucks and Fred Meyers and little league and RAIN....
and she lived near the mosque.....
with car bombs and famous people and BLOOMINGDALE'S and humidity.....
and they seemed to resent her.....
although she couldn't really fathom why....
yes.....admittedly....
she got CRAZY when her people seemed to be in jeopardy....
who wouldn't ?
and she envied the simple life.......
ohhh.......did she envy it...
for glamour and glitz and dining with Bill Clinton....
were NOT ALL THAT !!
she craved the west, in a way that they would never understand....
and still, they seemed to resent her....
with the exception of one, LONE RANGER....
HE UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING......
and that made them even more hostile......
she would consider leaving them be, for the moment.....
for her intention was NEVER to hurt them or bother them or even scold them.....
her task was really to LOVE THEM.....
but they didn't see it....
tears were shed.....as per usual.....

CAUGHT....

i cannot tell you WHEN
 or WHERE
 or even HOW
the situation unraveled,
to the gruesome degree that it did...

things can be insidious.....
almost unnoticeable.....

and then....
all at once.....
a stage has been set ,
 with puppets,
and strings,
and Hollywood lights.....

and your WHOLE FAMILY is sitting in the audience,
awaiting the protagonist to swoop in.......
and SAVE THE DAY.....

and unbeknownst to ANY OF them.....
the hero is YOU !

YOU ARE THE HERO IN YOUR OWN PRODUCTION !!

and they applaud......
 and throw roses and RICE....

as if it were a WEDDING....
or perhaps,
 some other type of SIMCHA...(happy occasion)....

*do Jews throw rice ??

WHY DOES ANYONE THROW 'RICE' ??

are ALL of the 'players' Jews ??

and they appear, yet again, to 'HAVE YOUR BACK'......

and you, gratefully,
 lie down upon the FEATHER PILLOWS
 that they have,
generously,
 brought......
in order to enable you to SLEEP....
during the confrontation that ensues.......

it is interesting here to note that the rice being thrown
has been BOILED in
RUBBER CEMENT
  and 'MILK and HONEY'......

WHERE ARE THE REPUBLICANS, FOR GOD'S SAKE ????

the production will be a flop without them .....

WE SIMPLY CANNOT CONTINUE WITHOUT THEM !!
nonnegotiable !!

ironically, YOUR 'immediate' PEOPLE
 are a tad more liberal than you....

and suddenly....
the Conservatives appear !!!

because they TRULY HAVE YOUR BACK !!!
not just some silly, old, feather pillows....

but they are packing artillery and armies of GOOD WILL.......
and you will arise triumphant !!!!

THEY WILL INSURE YOUR VICTORY !!!

but what will you WIN ??
an existential dilemma, to be sure.......

and the one who 'advocated' for 'correct ness'....

appeared in the 'ROOM OF JUDGMENT'.....
with one, lone document....

while the opponent had hired tiny, dark haired men,
 in 'suits of armour'.
to literally DRAG
 'wheelbarrows' FULL of
'extraneous documentation'......:}

WHY ?
i couldn't begin to guess.....:}

to assist with the vast unemployment ratio perhaps ?

to show 'good faith' to less fortunate, interest groups ?

to make a 'QUANTITATIVE' IMPRESSION ?

in any 'case'.....

theirs....(the opponent)....
was no small task.....

FOR....
 the ones with the single sheet of paper.....
were really
 ALWAYS 'CORRECT'......

but try as they would to convince the 'PAPER DRAGGERS'
to stop the MADNESS.....

they could NOT make headway......

FOR
 THE OPPONENTS
luvvvvvvvved
CHAOS and DRAMA and ATTENTION......

and the righteous ones loved
 PEACE and LOVE and
 HARMONIOUS SURROUNDINGS
and
A DAY AT THE BEACH......

and so,
 the ever-feared,
 'exercise in futility'
began anew........

with STACKED DECKS.....
and elevator shoes......
and MUD PIEs for the "OLD NAGS".....

i guess,
 in truth,
 the opponents were looking,
 SOMEHOW,
 for an escape.....
to be placed, perhaps, behind bars.....
in a PADDED and pathetic cage......
where they would be fed and clothed and read to......

it's a melancholy tale......to be sure.....

I AM GODDESS
 ""'X'""
REBBETZIN

the heart wants what the heart wants.....

when it comes to 'LOVE'.....
the heart forges its path ahead,
taking no prisoners in its wake....
for real LOVE dwells only there,
within the heart cavity.....
in its pulsating and rhythmic motion.....
in its  sheer 'RED ness'......

we try to make EXCUSES for LOVE.....
for OUR LOVE.....
for its belligerence.....for its 'STOICISM' almost.....

we try to explain why the wiry,
french guy with the greased back hair,
 captures ALL of our attention,
while the respectable businessman
in the tailored suit captures NONE.....

but in the end.....
there simply IS NO EXPLANATION......

for the heart communicates in a foreign dialect.....
 in an organic, visceral tongue......
like a beating, shamanic drum.....
HEARD only BY the 'intimate participants'......

are there LOVE MISTAKES ?

is LOVE simply a mistake ALTOGETHER ??? :}}

hard to say really.....

so we continue to move  EVER horizontally....
with no choice AT ALL...

LOVING HOPELESSLY......

sporting a great big bag of  'RED LICORICE'
 and an extra piece of 'PINK LINGERIE'

in our over sized, 'LOUIS VUITTON' bag ......:}}

finding 'HASHEM'......

so here's my 'humble', yet assured suggestion'.....
(based on my own experience).....

go to the ocean......
make certain that there are no iron gates or fences !!!
and do NOT wear a belt !!

put your toes into the water....
ONLY your toes.....

go precisely at 6:13 pm !!

look up....
beyond the sky....
beyond the clouds.....

look to find that ONE, DAZZLING spot of light....
you will know 100% when you've found it....

somewhere behind that light.....
INSIDE of that 'golden mass'....
will be "GOD"....

showing 'himself' to you....
without question....
anthropomorphically,on some level......
 i suppose....

it is in this particular moment...
at this pivotal time...

that you will find hope....
and faith......
and covenant......

and you will KNOW, beyond the shadow of a doubt......
that you are LOVED......
PROTECTED....

for your people, over the years,
 have met with countless monsters and demons.....
yet ALWAYS they have SURVIVED.....
STRONGER......
 UNBREAKABLE......

yet again,
 the tides are turning.....
i can feel them......
and you will too.....

GO TO THE WATER.....

pray for HUMILITY.....
for HASHEM to take your hand......
and walk with you....

GO TO THE WATER......

and with each passing day....

the 'problem' became more clear....
it was the 'FREAKISH ness'
 that had swallowed everyone in its wake.....
it had eaten the family,
as though they were cherries atop a black forest cake.....
deliverance was lost indeed....
all was lost, with regard to HIM....
he was no longer any one's 'white knight'.....
his was a path of destruction and delusion and 'roadkill'......
for he had burnt bridges as fervently and as hideously as can be imagined......

even his loyal HORSE had escaped the stables.......
for in the end, the hay had tasted like MUD......
and 'horsey' couldn't eat mud....
she needed her ATKINS BARS !
and she was a three-legged NAG, in any case.....
lost her hair, her vision.....
needed to be 'put down', in truth.....

and so...
the saga continued, albeit with  'BOATLOADS OF SALT' !!.....
(as opposed to A GRAIN !)
for nothing that he said or did was believable or tolerable or rational.........

life twists and turns,
VIOLENTLY at times.....
all the while......
 giving us messages ??
teaching us some sort of lessons ??

aren't we getting a little OLD for lessons ??
i mean......seriously........

the truck that she drove had a 'military' quality....

she was TOUGH.....
WAS SHE EVER TOUGH !!
and she had the DNA of a survivor......
regardless of impediment.....
regardless of obstacle......
the woman could, literally,
 make a BANK ROBBER CRY....
DURING THE HEIST !!
AND RUN THE OTHER WAY !!! 
just to escape her intimidating stare....:}}
YUP !!
she certainly had it.....
and she knew how to USE IT.......:}}
and at times, she frightened even HERSELF......
with her candid proclamations....
with her voice.....
with her 'provocative'  SET OF SKILLS.....

but try as she would,
she could
 NOT FIND
'sustenance'...
and she looked for it EVERYWHERE...
in the trees.....
in the cement jungle.....
in the parking garage.......
and even in the
 'GERIATRIC FACILITY'.....
however,
the opportunity to be
 'SATED'
 seemed perpetually unavailable to her.....

 "SOLUTION"
had, both literally and figuritively,
'LEFT THE BUILDING'......

a strange and frustrating quandry....
to be sure.....
 SEARCHING amongst the red, rose bushes......
and even among the ivy trelisses......
and yes,
in the hopes of finding solution,
she even went so far as to
  look inside the
KOSHER MARKETPLACE !!
one could never tell....:}

devils, disguised as nuns,
in black habit,
 were prancing and dancing around the military truck....

as she,
 FINALLY,
in a state of utter dismay,
LEFT
the hall of  'continuing education'.....

cast aspersions,
 if you so desire !!
it is completely understandable.....

but just try,
 'COWBOY',
 to stare back
at her 'penetrating gaze'......

and let's see who blinks first !!

and 'destiny' grew beneath the 'cherry blossom trees'.......

HOUSED,
ironically.....
 within the 'climate' of
'CHANGE GONE AWRY'......

perhaps, in fact,
 it was BECAUSE of this
POLITICAL UPHEAVAL....

IN ANY CASE......

these two found their hearts,
lying upon the steps of the pentagon!
and as they delicately lifted them off of the gleaming, white cement......
their eyes met !!
just like that !

birds of a feather.....
destined to
 DO GREAT THINGS .....
DESTINED TO RULE THE WORLD.....

LOVE CAN HAPPEN IN THE MOST
 unexpected places.......
all one must do is believe in
 the 'higher power'
that HEALS US.....
AND SUSTAINS US.....
AND BRINGS US 'BELONGINGNESS'....
and LOVE SURPRISES....:}}

HE is there....
upon your shoulder.....
guiding you, ever,
 toward those 'gleaming and glistening' steps......

and the rest is history, my friends......

may the light of love and health and euphoria.....
shine ever upon this magical couple.....

SHABBAT SHALOM.....

it was another case of 'bad charisma'......

the way that she moved......
the indefatigable way that she MADE HER POINT......
TAKING NO PRISONERS.....
she had the ability to lacerate with her words,
all the while, entrancing them with her eyes.....
with her movements.....

she was one of a kind !
of that there can be no denying....:}

and she longed to wrap the ENTIRE WORLD
within her 'motherly' embrace.....
to assuage their pain.....
to comfort and feed them.....
so that they would walk in
 the light of 'security and illumination'........

relationships puzzled her though, nonetheless.....
she did not possess the understanding of
the movements, made by 'others'.....
or rather.....
she DID UNDERSTAND......
but she vehemently disagreed !!
TRY AS SHE WOULD TO ERADICATE
HER NAGGING,
 'KNOWING ness'.......

and so.....
her behavior came across as BULLYING...
even though it wasn't exactly bullying......
it was more like 'TELLING'.......
with a side of 'extreme nonnegotiablity' !!

hmmm....
maybe she was bullying just a bit .:}}

she would try to don that pair of debutante, white gloves.....
for the moment....

do you suppose that the gloves from the 'social register'....
came in a special edition
 'FOR JEWS' ???

there are many, opposing aspects to the situation.....

how does one truly 'gage' the RIGHT THING to do ?
and WHEN to do it ?
are the answers to life's extreme dilemmas,
buried somewhere inside of our own hearts ?

are we FED the solutions, while we dream at night ?
waking up, KNOWING, full well, how to move forward ?

whom shall we trust, in order to advise and comfort us,
 toward the "ultimate good".....
the GREATER GOOD..,,,
within an "ECONOMY OF MEANS" ?
EFFICIENTLY.....
without unnecessary casualty.....
or melodrama.......

it is precisely in these times,
that we can and MUST
 turn to GOD....

we ask that he 'hold our hand'......
while we swim upstream....
against great force and current.....

and that he imbue us with
STRENGTH,
 FORTITUDE,
and a lack of
 'need for vindication'.....

and then, i suppose, my loves.......
we just
 "LET GO and LET GOD"......

with our faith intact...
with our head held high....
with our HEART OPEN WIDE......

yes.....
that's the answer !

"LET GO AND LET GOD".......

and she was wind blown and 'war torn'....

as if she'd been riding in a convertible for years,
with the top down.....
while gangsters in 'unmarked vans' threw grenades and lilacs...
you read correctly !
LILACS....
for in the end of the day, it wasn't really ALL SO BAD.....
there were flowers on the road of her life.....
big bunches of flowers.....
with aroma and chorophyll to smooth the 'wrinkles' on the
800 thread count comforter of her sojourn......

it's a pretty metaphor...:}
makes me smile......

and so.....
with each passing day,
obstacles would appear, in order that she RE THINK the 'obvious'.....
and rethink she DID...
round and round she went....
circling her own thoughts and feelings,
until one could not see the beginning......
nor fathom the end......

in any case.....
hers was a HEADY MISSION.....
filled with chagrin and SUGAR PIE and mathematical equation.......
and
 'BASKETS FILLED WITH POLITICAL UNREST'....

but GOD never gives us a job to do,
which we are incapable of doing.....

and so.....
she moved 'hawkishly forward'.....
through the entrapments......
through the sandstorms and ever through the
 CAMEL DUNG.....

where, indeed, WAS SHE, after all ?

had she finally arrived at that 'point of demarcation'?

there was a man, in a prayer shawl.......
in the distance....
blowing a SHOFAR.....

and on the opposite horizon....
there was a 'robed' figure in 'child pose'......
on a mat...
bent in prayer of some sort.....

AND SHE WAS SMACK IN THE MIDDLE !!

well.....
let's be honest.....
she was a tad to the right !

re directing the 'indignation'.....

assiduously attempting NOT TO SOUND 'posthumous' or 'corny',
(or as if i'm quoting from the YOGA SUTRA!).....

the sheer reserve of  'PURE INDIGNATION'....

housed, 'everso-TIGHTLY',
 within the 'solar plexus' chakra..,
can begin to, literally, ERODE and rob the body
of essential, GOOD ENERGY.....
as well as the powers of
'MANIFESTATION'.....
'ALCHEMICAL TRANSMUTATION', etc......

nonetheless.....
we have a CHOICE...
WE REALLY DO.....

WE CAN REDIRECT OUR ENERGY.....
in sustainable and productive manner...

for we are, after all, animals with SUPER INTELLIGENCE...
we need simply 'tap in' to the ''esoteric WE' (she)....

for SHE is right there....
next to us....
seated on a feather pillow,
made of the finest, silken embroidery.....
ROYAL BLUE SILK.....

SHE appears to be making something....
her hands are 'busy',
 with the delicate artwork.....
SHE is ,
in fact,
creating 'MASSIVE BRAIN CELLS'....
MORE POTENT PROFUNDITIES.....
for us to SHARE.....
to roll from our tongues.....
in order for us to 'RECONOITTER the CONSPICUOUS'......

we can choose to channel ALL of this
frustration, indignation, and  essential feeling of 'POWERLESS ness'....
into PURE POWER....
as if we are re charging a battery.....
simply put......

one need only have....
'FAITH'....
faith in the higher power of  'HUMANITY' ....

DON'T BE AFRAID TO 'PROVOKE'
 THE
'EXISTENTIAL POTENTIAL'....

she awaits ....:}}