beneath the folds of blood and sinew and taffeta.....

how much of what we project into the world is real?
and how much of it is but a 'mask' that we don,
in order to
essentially put our 'best foot' forward ?
are our 'feet',
in fact, wearing a mask of 'perfection' and
'fabulous ness' ??
a mask....
and what of our HEARTs ?
way deep inside.....
beneath the folds of blood and sinew and and taffeta...
are our hearts crying 'salty tears' from within ?
whilst we navigate through
the 'ever-undulating' roadmap of our lives ?
salt water is on the menu of the 'liberation meal'....
to remind us of the tears beneath the folds.....
to keep it REAL....
we must never allow the 'headiness' of
'public presentation'
to thwart the 'mission' of humility ....
for in order to truly LEAD....
one must detatch 'FIRMLY and IRREVOCABLY'
from the 'egocentric CHARADE'....

in a candy store....

faced with the ridiculous actuality of being
"TOO SOUGHT AFTER",
what is a girl to do ???
they are standing in line,
in the pouring rain...
with those silly, yellow slickers on.....
waiting, apparently, to give it their 'best shot'....
what is it that they see when the look at ME ??
i just dont get it !!!
admittedly, i have GOOD HAIR,,,,HYPNOTIC EYES,,,,,
CURVES,,,,AND NERVE OF STEEL....
ok...ok....
i hear that....
but im a dangerous woman to 'saddle up' with....
because ill pick your brain and fill your fridge with protein......
and drag you to social predicament after predicament....
and i will show no mercy when you drive TOO SLOWLY.....
when your grammar is less than correct...
when your hair is not 'up to snuff'....
BUT I'M WORTH IT, COWBOY !!!
so get out your lasso, and rope me in !!!
if you can....:)

and as the eve of our ' holiday of liberation' commenceth.....

so doeth the suffering and 'flashing back' of the people...
meet its timely and ever awaited demise....
for in the final analysis...
justice continues to OVERSHADOW injustice....
one must only take a step back
in order to revel in this
'given'...
things are never as RANDOM nor as ARBITRARY
as one might have initially suspected.....
and although we may wonder, constantly,
upon the cataclysmic happenings and such.....
in the end of the day,
there is an enormous sense of PATTERNING.....
of DESTINY...even of POETRY...
and GOD is most supremely, sitting atop his clouds...
empathizing.....sypathizing....
with our humain trevail and suffering...
but mercifully stepping back....
in order to adhere to our notion of 'free will'.....
and the seder plate will hold the 'epic' symbols of tears and mortar and slavery...
but lo and behold...
WE ARE FREE AT LAST .......

so old friends come 'flying' back on rafts.....

flying on rafts !!
right up onto the shores of the atlantic.....
and they are wearing 'pearls' around their necks...
pearls of 'reconnoitered wisdom'.....
and manolos on their 'pedicured feet'....
and drinking jagermeisters !!!
yes indeed !!!
and we are reminded of times long ago...
when the kids were babies...
and the lamentations were sublime....
and waverunners could take us to 'points unknown'....
as white sharks cruised the salty bay for
FLESH SANDWICHES......
for flesh sandwiches made of matzoh ???
ahhhh....
lamentations....
we jews have long lists of complaints and criticisms and RULES and 'butcher orders'....
and yet,
we seem to continuously MISS the 'promised land'...
somehow....
as our sights are set in other directions.....
figi...india...arkensas...
pondering...pondering....
a 'sweet and kosher passover' to you, my loves..
yours,
GODDESS XRTEBBETZIN

candid and sublime articulation....

there are times...
we've all experienced them.....
when the details of life's myriad scenario.....
can only be interpreted in ONE WAY...
all points lead in the same, basic direction....
there is really no "service road"
aside the "expressway" of our sojourning.....
nonnegotiably....
universally not...
and yet...
our hearts are singing a different tune....
harmonic....melodious...
pulling us, somehow, by the collar,
to go OVER THERE.....
and NOT exactly over "THERE".....
tough to explain really..
"mui complicato"....
if only we could regain our composure..
our ability to JUMP, head first,
into WHATEVER COMES DOWN THE PATH OF
"most RESISTANCE"....

PASSOVER PIRATES !!!!

life can turn 'on a dime'....
leaving you 'shell shocked'....
be on close guard at all times....
for snakes and 'laughing hyenas'......
they have been known to jump out of the 'brush'...
and start pulling your hair and kicking your shins and
taking your cash !!!!
be on guard !!
ESPECIALLY when shopping for passover food !!!!
i've heard tell that these 'passover pirates'
can make people actually get on airplanes and fly to carribean destinations,
where they are FORCED to participate in
PASSOVER PROGRAMS !!!!
they jump out of the aisles at kosher marketplaces...
and MUG and PILLAGE innocent pedestrians with head coverings....
and then they drag them out of the stores,
and into large, grey, mini vans !!!!
THEY DO !!!
and well....
there's really no telling what can happen next ......
in past years,
people have been returned to their homes,
some 12 days later....
feeling glazed and confused and
'utterly constipated' !!!!
it's a freightening world we live in.....
be on guard, my loves....

so i go to meet a man about a job.....

and i set my hummer navigation system to
"25 smith avenue"..
and i arrive at EXACTLY the appointed time for the interview.....
only to realize, to my extreme chagrin,
that the address for the appointment is
"25 smith PLACE"...NOT AVENUE !!!!
i call the man with whom i have the scheduled appointment.....
and i tell him that i've made a dreadful mistake...
(but an honest one nonetheless)
and he tells me to
"JUST FORGET THE WHOLE THING!"
....that "attention to detail" is EVERYTHING....
and that he has no interest whatsoever in meeting me....
i am mortified....sitting in the hummer by the side of the road in some godforsaken area of brooklyn...
at "25 smith avenue"....
and then i realize that the man is
making a HUGE MISTAKE...
that meeting ME is not only an OPPORTUNITY,
but that it's a PRIVILEDGE !!!
and so...
i type "25 smith PLACE" into my navigation system,
and i set off for my ultimate destination !!
i arrive 20 minutes later, feeling confident,
but, of course,
a bit apprehesive at the same time....
i am, after all, dressed like a PILGRIM !!!
not the usual "glamour hippy" attire....
HENCE......
I AM PROFOUNDLY READY FOR THE INTERVIEW !!!
and i will move forward,
regardless of aspersions cast in my way....
I WILL REACH THE PROMISED LAND (in brooklyn!)...
MAKE NO MISTAKE !!!
stay tuned, fair readers.....:)))

au contraire.......

there exist, in essentially EVERY facet of every situation,,,,,
"contrarians".....
those who would rather
STAND ON THEIR SILLY AND POSTHUMOUS laurels.....
than actually STEP OUT into the 'sunlight' of truth and virtue and practical application...
"contrarians".....
hither and fro....
and as we find ourselves 'engaging' with this
'fifth column'of ridiculousness....
we suddenly realize that our 'upscale and esoteric' standards are becoming lowered,
to our extreme chagrin...
just by engaging in unending brawls and 'cat fights'...
by osmosis...
just by attempting to jockey for position...
in 'politique' fashion....
when will we learn that throwing rocks and popsicles
at loud mouthed 'pedestrians' with whiny,
liberal
'persuasions'
is a complete waste of our
PRECIOUS and FABULOUS time ???

kindred souls.....

some religions....
 (not mine !)...:))
 call it a 'silver thread'.....
being strung, metaphysically, from one good person to another.....
a silver thread......
invisible, yet powerful in it essence........
forces beyond our comprehensive field are at work....
gathering...grouping 'souls'.....
'soul groups'......i've heard them called....
(in some 'ascended circles').....
destined to be 'strung together'
 throughout life's arduous and shocking path......
and actually through 'celebration' times as well.......
and then there comes along a 'bad apple' or two.....
and try as they will, to rip and shred the 'cemented, 'silver thread' apart.....
their task remains unfulfilled....unresolved....
an essential 'exersise in futility'.....
and they begin to literally THROW THINGS at us....
crystal, watches, BRICKS...
but to no avail......
for we of the 'silver thread' are SOLIDLY WOVEN TOGETHER.....
as was clearly destined.....
and the cobblestones on the road of our meandering......
are splintered and rugged in some places....
and smooth and shiny in others...
just as life is both colored and grey, all at once......
a diverse 'tapestry in motion'.......

complications and situations and re configurations........

there are, literally, SO MANY different things happening at one time.......
that i'm rendered quite  'speechless'....
YUP !!! ME !!!!
SPEECHLESS !!!
AT A loss......
i can hear them 'yodeling' next door.....at the mosque....
cause after all.......it's FRIDAY......almost shabbos......:))
and EVERYBODY davens on shabbos !!!
RIGHT ???
and the cholent is simmering.....
and the guy with the 'hallal stand' is selling those 'wrap' sandwiches.
and the shiva is a 'WRAP'.....
and cupcakes with sprinkles are STILL being delivered !!!!
and we have GOT TO CUT BACK ON THOSE
 'event appropriate' CARBS' !!!!!
and the two challahs are being set upon the 'multi-tasking' table.......
the one made of mangoes......
the one , ORIGINALLY meant
for the MONKS and FRIARS and utilitarians....
THAT TABLE !!!!
and there is an 'aftermath'....
( THIS IS NOT to be confused with the moments following a mathematics EXAM !!!)
and there are crazy, overlapping birthdays and lunches and strep throats and
pilates classes going down......
we MUST PRIORITIZE....
for the sake of the elephant , seated in our living room !!!

is it self serving ?

what are the motivations that guide us,
when we find ourselves doing
 "the RIGHT THING" ?
is our sense of 'moral code' truly lighting our path through the darkness ?
or is there something in it for us ?
and if, in fact, there IS....
does that negate the action ??
in and of itself ?
do we wish to be MARTYRED ?
nailed up on a big, wooden 'star of david'.....
 for all the world to see....
"she is a PRINCESS"....."a saint among women".....
"she embodies the essense of WHO WE ARE".....
or......
is doing a good turn just part and parcel of what makes us 'US' ?
because we are HUMAN.....soft hearted......emotional ??
because in the end of the day,
the 'checks and balances' really have no bearing
on the vignettes that make up our life......
because we are truly 'unattatched' to that which is 'material'.....
even the walls......
WE ARE NOT EVEN ATTATCHED TO THE WALLS......
because home is where 'the heart is'........
and mostly...
because we CAN......
and because, after all is said and done, THEY CAN'T.....
simple mathematics.....
1+1=2....
"step up to the plate, people !!"
DO IT !!!
life is short.....
falling trees are 'bludgeoning' pedestrians .....
right outside your window !!
JUST LIKE THAT !!!!
step up, and take charge !!!
step out of your tiny, little, "comfort zone".....
AND DO THE RIGHT THING....

I AM GODDESS XREBBETZIN

resumes are flying .......

opportunities and possibilities and silliness and flamboyance.....
are flying through the air at record speeds and actually,
 in quite 'opposing' directions...

well.....

we have OPTIONS here....

we can :

1) throw as much shit up against the wall as we can muster....(and see what sticks!)
2) sit on our asses and wait for a miracle !!
(i like that one best ! :))
3) wake up !!!!   go out and get what we perceive to be 'pay dirt' !!
4)PRAY !!!
5) eat dozens and dozens of dunkin doughnuts.......

actually, as i peruse the list of options....it seems that it is, in fact,
quite the 'SHORT LIST'.....
i'd better get cracking !!!!

i am 'EXTREMELY BULLISH' on MARCH !!!
it came in like a LION.......
AND IT'S GONNA GO OUT LIKE A 'BULL' !!!!

i have this on excellent information !!

don't forget your umbrellas, my loves....

and as freedom begins to 'ring'....

so do we actually begin to 'give peace a chance'....
for among the bulls and bears and the vultures....
 and even among the naives and the 'simpletons'....
and beyond "outrageous 'dis claimer'".....and 'mis fortune'....

one thing continues to hold true.....
in its entirety...

that we are all, somehow....
 'EQUAL',
and therefore meritous

of......
 'grandeur and coco butter and endless possibilty'....

hence.......
we are ALL....
irrefutably.....
worthy of 'peace'...

ahoy, mate !!!

who's that guy in the distance ???
the one with the 'eye patch' and
the random 'bra' wrapped around his waist ???
who's that 'rogue' over yonder, dressed from head to toe in rags ???
his mere 'gait' is proof that masculinity has no bounds ......
ahhhh......
that, my friends, is a MAN...
oh, yes.....
what a man !!
i shall run home to whip up a muti-layered, sponge cake....
just for him.....;)
to delight his very senses with sugar and spice and
 .....uhhhh.....
MATZOH MEAL  ???
well...
this too shall pass....
we will dance beneath the weeping,  willow trees.......
upon the beaches of countrified 'passivity'.....
i will serve up 'fake pasta'.....
made from the finest 'spaghetti squash'......
upon the biggest, silver platter
that i can find among my cadrae of 'following'....
and when all is said and done,

we will bring the mountain to MOSES......
as it has become quite clear that he is NOT
in a hurry to get to US !!
(he has been there and done that !)...

and it will not only be a GOOD SHABBOS,
but it will be a GREAT SHABBOS !!!

on 'absolutism'....

this is, for certain, a difficult topic.....
requiring a kind of 'open mindedness', in order to even understand it....
so.....
here's what i feel obligated to try to impart:

speaking in absolute terms about virtually ANYTHING........
can be misunderstood, misinterpreted.....at best....
to truly be a 'person of valour and conviction'.....
one must make EVERY EFFORT to delve into the viewpoints of others.....
to the extent that.....
we can begin to feel their plight, dilemna, suffering,
 and even pleasure points.....
without so much as a 'modicum' of judgment.....or worse, 'insult'......

not so easy to do, my friends,
 in light of the horrific scenarios which
are taking place all around us....
these are, indeed, troubled and 'dis figured' times....

even MORE REASON for keeping an open mind and,
of course, an open heart cavity.... :))

.......for david jeffrey wright....(respectfully)

and fear, in and of itself, has left the building......

giving way to complete and utter confidence...
we knew......we knew that if we outlived that scoundrel(fear)....
we'd arrive at some 'illumined' sort of 'finish line' by spring.....
and although the solstice has yet
 to 'buck' its head at our friend, the groundhog......
we can safely proclaim that 'SPRING HAS SPRUNG'.......
in demeanor and in the heart of the MATTER....
hence.....
oil paint and low carb chocolates have been posted upon the menu
of 'diner girl's' cave....
and the calendar of 'dates' is filled to the brim......
and scheduled 'sessions' have met their match.......
as MITT ROMNEY gets ready to kick some 'donkey ass' !!!!
that's all i got !!!
stay tuned......

retraction.....

she is NOT a 'parochial cow'.....
although she can sometimes ACT like one .......:))
she is my very favorite person EVER EVER EVER.....
and the friendship will continue to sail through the stormy and turbulent and deep, blue seas....
 long after the party has left the station......
so......
for the record......
'diner girl' has written a retraction .......
she takes it back !!!
(at least most of it !!)

upon awakening....

it is precisely upon the moment of awakening,
 that one can actually sit,
albeit for but a moment,
inside of a sort of 'organic purity'......
for the 'notions' and judgments of the day have not yet formulated.....
we hope....!

this, my loves, is your moment !!
fraught with 'non judgment', hope,
 and an essentially 'infantile' need to just breathe...

therefore, it is of categorical importance to allow
 the 'blank tablet' of the day to 'live'....to actualize....to exist..

at this time, we are 'called' upon to become conscious of the breath,
 of the imagery that has been 'percolating' overnight.....
of color....shape....of resonance.....
perhaps we can begin to notice 'metaphor'....and such.......

religion, wisely, allows and directs us to break from sleep consciously....
aloud.......
to 'proclaim' our awakening.....
to give thanks for life.....

there are, for certain,
signs and 'bench marks' posted along the avenue
between sleep and emergence......

we can glean significant and potentially, life altering information
from these early morning messages......

begin to notice....
upon awakening....

GODDESS XREBBETZIN.....

at times....

the 'unknowing ness' can be daunting.....almost paralyzing....
while at other times...
this very same, kind of  'limbo' state can lift the senses straight upwards,
 in a way that surprises and pleases....
with its existential force......
let's face it.....
sometimes 'NOT KNOWING' can be quite perfectly excellent !!
it leaves some hints of spice and lavender and 'iced, pink cupcake',
sitting poised, atop the shelf of 'all things concerned'....
waiting to be eaten, inhaled, and injested.....
at one's leisure......
at one's 'beck and call'.....:))
just the way we like it !!
hidden away in the pantry of 'philanthropy and rubber chicken'......
on the heels of 'MANOLO'......
and in the parking lot of THAT UNIVERSITY IN JERSEY.....
the 'un knowing ness' certainly can have its upside !!!

and as the PASSOVER caldron...

comes to a furious and specific  boil...
so do the remnants of holidays gone by  melt into a pile of
'cataclysmic memoire'......
steaming and smoking to the very end......
we stir and stir......
adding the vanilla and cognac and hair follicles,
 ad nauseum...
nonetheless, the 'sacred' matzoh balls,
oddly...... do NOT float 'freely'
to the top !!!
too much vanilla, perhaps ???
not enough 'lamentation' ???
can we 're direct' the free flow of  'chi' and other
significant, energetic properties ???
in order to 're interpret' the symbolic messages,
laid atop the seder plate.....
ever so emphatically and specifically ????
hmm.....
these are the issues at hand on this GLORIOUS, 'almost spring' !!!  day.........

things are multiplying and multiplying......

and getting away from us with their sheer force !!!
and politicians are scamming like crazy !!!
and......GETTING CAUGHT BIG TIME !!!
///////////       what were they thinking ???
and the globe is 'heating up' for sure......
and it has snowed and snowed and snowed this year.....
and by the way......the snow does NOT NEGATE 'GLOBAL WARMING' !!!!
it actually lends credence to the hypothesis !!!
DO YOUR HOMEWORK, PEOPLE !!!!
and the geriatrics are dining in the hall of 'ever more'.....on the palisades....
as we 'network' and 'network' and 'network' ourselves into a veritable
FRENZY of detail and conspicuous humility  !!!!
and we need a BREAK!!!!!
and there is no break in sight !!!
OH ME !!!  OH MY !!!!!
and friends folly,
as situations become more convoluted and disheartening.....
and problem solving is rich with complexity and stamina.....
as the 'candidates' continue upon the paths of 'righteous indignation'.....
and Bono went to shul !!!
BONO WENT TO SHUL !!!!
i'm serious !!!
what will happen next ????

.........in honour of OPA......

and as the chariots of yesterday essentially 'flew' by.....

so did her cumbersome, sanctimony slide on through.....
directly down the 'lazy river' of the scenario.....
but heres the thing about lazy rivers.....
they are filled with lukewarm urine and edges of diapers
 and disgarded bandages....
and sometimes even traces of matzoh !!!!......
and so on......
and they are highly chlorinated, in order to
camouflage the 'indiscretions' embedded therein....
and what does it really matter anyway ??
as long as her tube stays afloat and she has carefully applied her 'high intensity' sunblock ???
are the indiscretions really important or is the 'total experience'
really all that counts ??
will she continue to paddle through the currents of minutia ???
to what end ??
perhaps the experience is the sum total of the voyage......
mistakes and all.....
or not !!!
"we shall see", said the brown cow......:))