it had been such a weird day....

discombobulated...
the Russian seemed to have been mistaken....
or so it appeared.....
the jury was still out on that.....
the amulet had been by her side, as directed.....
and there were winds......
gusty, strong winds.....
as if the heavens were angry.....
money had flown out of her hands too....
literally !!
20's and 10's FLYING INTO THE WINDS......
weirrrrrrrd.......
and there was something that looked and felt like 'smog' in the atmosphere....
the air was so thick....
and the amulet remained intact throughout everything....
or so it seemed....
 drinking glasses were BURSTING and CRACKING !!
popping !!
and breaking !!
so weird......
i dont know what to say.....
i just don't know what to say.....

he hadn't been totally honest......

in fact,
 he hadn't been honest WHATSOEVER....
he hadn't stopped to think about the implications of lying .....
it had started as a tiny exaggeration.....
and somehow, it had snowballed into a
 FULL BLOWN FABRICATION......
complete with blue ribbons and poisonous apples and gutter snakes....
oh, my god....
HOW would he ever get back into 'good graces' ?
in light of having  gone through such inordinate circumstance....
WOULD he get back ???
did he want to be back there ?
puzzling, yet liberating consequences ensued....
and the crystal bowl on the table shook.....
making that rattling sound that only 'fine crystal' makes...
and the dog hid beneath the pillows...freightened...
shaking as well.....
and the air was thick with 'remorse'...
and the aroma of 'fresh laundry' wafted throughout the rooms.....
and so on.....

they drove to brooklyn...

and as they passed through the historic, old avenues.....
this sense of 'nostalgia' came upon her....
after all,
 it wasn't as if she'd been born in Brooklyn..
or ever lived there, for that matter.....
she had hailed from out west....
however....
strange, stabbing nostalgia crept in......
as if shed been there, somehow,
 in a life before this one perhaps....
she of 'LEONINE' tendency....
regenerative...
feline....
was it the notorious, nine lives ?
or was it more ?
she wondered at the symbiotic,
astrological aspects of her sojourn.....
as always......
she wondered at her own eratic longings....

how did i get mixed up in all this political banter ??

i was just a simple gal from out west.....
minding my own business....
plodding along in the big, urban jungle.....
when suddenly ....!!
a NEW president came to power....
who pretty much ADMITTED that he didn't like ME or MY KIND.....
imagine that !!
and before i knew it, i was caught in a current that was SO STRONG and TUMULTUOUS !!,,,
that i seemed to be drowning....
(along with my people).....
DROWNING !!!
so what choice did i have ???
i ask you.....
hence,
i opened my mouth !!
BIG !!!
and thoughts and words and emotions that had been brewing inside me
for decades.....
CAME POURING OUT !!
and i said, in my LOUDEST AND MOST INTIMIDATING VOICE...
"I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU,
MR PRESIDENT,
TO CLOUD AND BLEMISH MY WORLD !!!!
OH, NO !!!
OF THIS YOU CAN BE CERTAIN !!!"
and there were applause....
and they served CAKE with VANILLA ICING....
and that's how it happened.....

and as the boy stared at the goldfish....

swimming around and around  in circles....
in its confined, small bowl...
he felt tremendously sad for it......
he had named it Henri....
at the time of purchase,
he had literally begged his parents to buy a larger bowl for 'henry'....
but they had become angry....
claiming, as always,
that he "appreciated NOTHING"....
he wanted to explain to them that the larger bowl was for Henri's sake,
and had nothing to do with him or greed or anything really.....
except the desire,
the need,
to save a small, helpless fish from a life of monotony and drudgery.....
his parents were strange people.....
often times he found himself wondering whether they had
EVER LOVED ANYTHING OR ANYONE......
even each other.....
especially each other....
they lived separate lives, albeit under the same roof....
they had their meals together...
they slept in the same bed.....
but the boy could feel the space between them.....
palpable space....
and if they could care less about one another...
why on earth would they care about some stupid fish ?
tears were streaming down his face now.....
he would ultimately find a way to make life sweeter for 'henri'....

there are disconcerting rumors......

flying hither and fro....
that even though there is such tumult and commotion over
 this 'thing' that 'THEY' are TRYING to build....
that THEY are congregating regardless !!!
further.....
according to sources undisclosed,
it has become a HOUSE OF WORSHIP !!!
obviously, wholly contrary to public desire and plea...
well......
WHAT TO DO ???
we can....
a) SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN !!!
b) SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN !!!
or
c) SHUT THAT SHIT DOWN !!!
the choice, as always, is YOURS....

cows getter fatter.....pigs get slaughtered.....

and what of the SMUG look on the older woman's face,
as she pronounced that she would
 "NEVER LOAN MONEY TO ANYONE AGAIN" ??
how on earth could a human being make such a proclamation ??
it was beyond her, truly...
people were so TIED IN to their material holdings...
as if they would, in fact,
be taking them along in a backpack when they died.....
yup....
people could be so vulgar and cruel....
she, personally, could NEVER pass by a beggar without digging into her wallet and at least, buying them a meal....
but that was just her...
they all had savings,
 and she had, to be honest, next to nothing.....
maybe her way was wrong...
all she knew was that the heart was not meant to beat for 'oneself alone'.....
the heart was expansive....benevolent......
the world was a big place....
in need of lots and lots of HEART.....
so she would continue on with her own, particular callings....
and let them have their 'CDs' AND 'IRAs'
 and holdings and equity positions......
whilst she had her GENEROSITY and KINDNESS in place....
 nontransferable equity....
housed within the walls of her DNA.....

there was a knock on the front door.....

she didn't want to answer it.....
it was late at night, after all......
and she was alone at home...
but as she stood by the door,
she could hear the person breathing on the other side....breathing hard.....
and as she looked through the peephole,
she could barely make out the figure of a man, dressed in dark blue....
it was so late !!
who was he ?
why hadn't the concierge called upstairs ??
she went to call downstairs,
and for some reason,
her phone was dead !!
this was getting really creepy...
thinking,,,, thinking,,,,,,
what to do ??
he just stood there, on the other side of the door....
waiting.......
an alarm started sounding shrilly in the hallway !!
a fire alarm !!
weirrrrrrrrd.....
she froze......
not wanting to face the stranger outside the door......
but not wanting to BURN EITHER !!!
the smell of smoke began permeating the air.....

how many times could they have the SAME CONVERSATION ??

he said this...
she said that....
and blah blah blah....
on and on....
they were simply NOT SUITED to live together !!!
duhhh !!
but their animal attraction was SO GREAT !!
funny......she always thought....
"if only he were MUTE !"
haha !!
she loved his body and his face and his scent.....
she loved curling up with him, kissing him, having him make love to her.....
but she HATED his personality !!!
WHAT TO DO ???

so she went to see an old, russian woman....

and the woman saw things.....
not particularly pleasant things....
in the cards...
and there was gold everywhere....
and she began to cry....
big wet tears of anguish and long time suffering.......
floodgates of tears, in fact...
there were ENORMOUS CANDLES
 in the corner of the gold laden room....
waiting to be lit....
it seemed, oddly, that the candles were somehow ALIVE....
that they were smiling sardonically...
hard to explain really....
you had to have been there.....
and there was a platter of apples....
green and red and yellow.....
each had a ribbon of gold lame tied around it.....
like a present.....
she knew,
 sitting there in deep contemplation ,
that she had turned a very significant corner....

it occurs to me....

that we are constantly and perpetually in a state 
of 'politique'....
meaning that,
regardless of the situation,
 we must,
at all times,
balance delicately the chess pieces on the board of our life....
and if,
 heaven forbid,
 one of our 'rooks'
or even one of our 'pawns'...for that matter....
make a move that is 'out of sync'
with the synergy which WE'VE CREATED....
it can send the entire scenario into a potentially, lethal tailspin !
setting off a domino effect of catastrophic consequence....
and so on....
so what of 'spontenaity, you ask ??
here's the trick....
here's the 'secret',
 if you will,
 to reaching that apex of 'truth and success'.....
LEARN TO BE SPONTANEOUS
 AND UTTERLY CALCULATING
 AT THE SAME TIME !!
EXCITING, YET STRATEGIC....
if and when you can achieve
 this lofty aspiration,
the KINGDOM WILL BE YOURS FOR THE TAKING.....
i am 100% certain of this !!

we've been waiting for the other shoe to drop......

and so it has.....
and now there are two shoes,
 DROPPED.....
what else, for god's sake, can drop at this point ??
lets examine,.....
interest rates can drop......
pregnant bellies can drop.....
the STOCK MARKET can obviously PLUMMET......
words can drop a vowel......
we can 'lose' our composure.....
but can we 'drop' our composure ??   nahhh...
we can drop a guy......(that goes without saying!)
a kid's GRADES can drop....
no worries here !!
nowhere to go BUT UP !!   LOL
we can suck on a lemon drop.....
wipe away a tear drop.....
stick our palm out the window and wait for a rain drop .....
I AM "DROPPING" THIS BLOG POST BECAUSE.........
THIS BLOG SUCKS !!!
NEXT........

SUCCOTH for 'dummies'.....

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DEC4IVe61p-0&h=20b28take one part 'TABERNACLES'....
4 lemon-like fruits.....
 many long ,sharp, palm branches....(as sharp as you can find!)
throw in
'myrtle' to taste....
when you are all set up...
go around and around in circles, (in shul)
while shaking the lemons and branches in every direction....

after this is accomplished,
place a table inside of the 'tabernacle'
which you've built in your backyard,,,,,
and set up as many cold cut platters as humanly possible!

this is a reenactment of the people
 sojourning in the desert for 40 years....
I'm guessing that they had no cold cuts though !!

chag sameach one and all !!!
a happy holiday to you !!

over and over and over again.....

we hear the drone of platitude and submission.....
the need,
somehow,
 to cop to a significantly, lowered standard.....

is it FEAR that motivates this 'A-MOTIVATIONAL' STUPOR in otherwise,
reasonably intelligent people ???
THE POTENTIAL LOSS OF INTERNET 'popularity' PERHAPS ???
LOLOLOL

will that SAME FEAR not bury them in the end ? //////
is that not the CONUNDRUM OF ALL CONUNDRUMS ???
the fear that paralyzes and castrates these LIBERAL fools....
will ultimately TURN ON THEM......
and they will be CASTRATED TWICE !!
once FIGURATIVELY.....
but the NEXT time.....
LITERALLY.....
to be sure !!!

the woman stepped out of the taxi....

onto the sidewalk,
 in front of BERGDORF GOODMAN.....
a nice stroll through her favorite haunt would surely boost her spirits !
perhaps a purchase or two .....
after all, she was in dire need of a new, cashmere sweater.....
a new pair of leather gloves.....
a 'gotham' salad....
yum....
DIRE NEED !!
the seasons were rolling by, oh so quickly......
and it occurred to her, in a moment of sublime clarity,
that she'd better prepare for what was to come.....
STORE SOME ITEMS for future seasonal shifts...and so on....
stockpile clothing and such....:}}

as she entered the store,
a leprechaun approached her !
yes !!
a leprechaun or some derivative thereof.....
he was dragging a heavy sack of silver coins....
through the hallowed halls of the elegant establishment.....
and there was something written on the sack......
a name,,,,,
HER NAME !!!!
WHAT ????
he motioned for her to follow him up the escalator......

as they reached the second floor....
she saw a sign painted on the wall opposite the escalator......
the sign read,
"STOP HERE !!!"
"YOU ARE HOME"

WHAT ???
the leprechaun pulled on her pants leg,
motioning to her to get off on the landing
 in front of the sign......
there were RED ARROWS ....
NOT RED FLAGS !

pointing toward a door.....
the door was antiqued with gold leaf.....
a wide door......
not ominous exactly....
but curious to be sure......

she walked, with a certain amount of trepidation,
 toward 'said' door.....
**note that she'd been in this store literally hundreds of times.......
this door did NOT EXIST in real time !!....
just saying!

an alarm, THE LOUDEST SHE'D EVER HEARD, went off !!!
the store was being evacuated !!
there was a bomb scare !!!
they were ordered to leave the building immediately !!!

the leprechaun was NOWHERE TO BE FOUND !!!

as she stood outside in the sunlight, she found herself wondering whether she'd imagined the whole thing......
she appeared to be the only "EVACUEE".....

the man stood, in deep thought, on the edge of the diving board....

for longer than was needed ....
contemplating the dive....
would he dive, head first, into the blue water ??
or
would he jump, like a kid, feet first, into the cold, wet depths ??
would his dogs jump in after him ??
WOULD HIS PARTNER JOIN IN ??

and......
for god's sake....
WHAT ABOUT THE CLOSING THIS AFTERNOON ??
would they cancel ??
postpone ??
would he get his check ??
would they serve BIRTHDAY CAKE at the closing ???
would the other agents be as jealous as ever of his
""FABULOUS NESS""??
a CHECK and a BIRTHDAY CAKE !!!!
he was indeed a LUCKY GUY !!!
he had everything !!
LOVE,
a swimming pool,
gorgeous friends ! :}}}
, doggies,
 and a KICK ASS career !!

life was GOOD !!!!
he could hear one of those
 RED, HAMPTONS BIRDS
singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY".....

for michael......with love on his birthday.....xox

i was sitting and watching the kids playing ball....

in the green field,
 just a few minutes from the grind of the city.....
and i was thinking that these little kiddies..
are the stuff that urban legends are born of....
parents stuffing them into SUVs,
 and dragging them to "squares of grass"...
just outside of penitentiaries and such....
"a square of grass"....
a rare commodity in the urban center.....
dragging lockers filled with diet coke and 'supposed mineral water'...
i fear that these mothers may have pulled a 'switcherooo'.....
and poured dreaded TAP WATER into
POLAND SPRING BOTTLES !!!
and passed their matriarchal generosity off....
for a 'higher characteristic' than was actually so !!
but after all, I'm only GUESSING....:}}}
as the september sun smiled down upon our little group,
i felt a rush of 'earthly love' come over me somehow......
a perfect autumn day.....

they had gone to see those fabulous, new cars...

the TESLAs....
ELECTRONIC, SPORTS CARS !!!
amazing what they'd come up with !!!
afterwards, they had eaten vegan wraps.....
at the new RAW restaurant.....
and they had topped off the meal with Chai lattes....:}}
on the way to their 'appointment' to play the 'new ping pong'....
their loins still ached from yesterday's 'paintballing' however....
and the PENCIL TIGHT SKIRT she had on was of no help!!

she kept thinking to herself,
"this is a whole new world that we're living in....."
"what happened to "MAC and CHEESE",
on a TV tray,
while watching
  "THE BRADY BUNCH" ???

was THIS 'BLOG POST'
"""OFFENSIVE"""" TO
'organized religion' ??

one could never tell these days........
"mosques being built at ground zero".....THEY were ok with that !!
but her BLOGS ???
BLASPHEMY !!!! 

someone wrote to me yesterday....

and said that my writing is "offensive to Jewish people".....

WOW !!!!
WOW !!!!
that was a first !!!

let me state here, for the record.......
that i am NOTHING, if not a JEW....
that my entire life revolves around being a Jew.....
that i am proud and honoured and committed 150% to being a Jew....
always have been....
always will be......

my writing is somewhat autobiographical.....no question....
and there is devout humor in organized religion as i see it !
no question about that either !

people come to take themselves so seriously though......
that they forget to laugh !

so i take a kind of  "'birds eye view'",
albeit from 'within'....
and i attempt to SEE what one would see from the outside,
looking in ....

we shake lemons and branches and walk veritable miles on Saturdays....
and we cover our heads and we starve ourselves at appointed times.....
what are THEY SEEING when they look at us ???

what do WE SEE when we look at OURSELVES ???

so.....
pardonne moi, my loves....
NO OFFENSE EVER INTENDED.....:}}}}

yom kippur for hyenas...

the hyenas, the JEWISH hyenas,
 sit very properly in the front row....
of the animal chapel...
trying so hard not to laugh !
for that is their organic inclination....
to laugh themselves into a stupor....
however, it is ATONEMENT DAY.....
no laughing is permitted....

Mrs hyena is wearing her ivory colored finery....
her hat...
her pearls....
and YES !!
her CONVERSE !!!
she sits in deep contemplation....
muffling her urge to LAUGH....
keeping the hyena children in line...

Mr hyena is seated downstairs.....
(they are ORTHODOX!)
he gazes up at his family, controlling his own extreme urges.....
to laugh !!
a snort pops out of his snout,
 regardless of decorum.....
his 2 sons, seated on his right, regale with laughter !!!
spitting and wheezing into the air,
to his extreme chagrin and embarrassment....

they sit,
'en famille',
 and ponder THE MEANING OF LIFE....
they beg forgiveness....
they make promises....
they watch the clock.....
hunger pangs are distinctly gurgling within their hyena bellies.....

there is nothing quite as 'distressing' and utterly 'revolting'....
as the breath of a FASTING HYENA......

she was frozen in time...

a prisoner of what had been.....
yet a hostage of her future as well.....
traumatized by circumstance......
enveloped by emotion....
but continuously industrious and resourceful....
almost to a fault......

she saw a copper coin on the ground....
glimmering in the sunlight....
and as she bent to pick it up,
a garden snake slithered by....
in MANHATTAN !!!!
green and blue.....
just in the nick of time to stop her hand from touching the coin....
she shook with revulsion.....
never having been a fan of snakes...

as it happened, a homeless woman was nearby....
watching, as it were......
she RAN over and scooped the coin from her competitor !!
and in her haste, she scraped the innocent woman with a blade...
she'd been holding a blade in her hand....(in case of attack!)
the streets brought a keen paranoia to these people.....

suddenly, there was blood on the glistening sidewalk.......
this.......
over a mere penny ......
times were indeed TOUGH.......

and as the child came of age...

there were certain nuances which had to be addressed....
certain awkward instances.....
requiring an 'ever so delicate' hand.....
the hand of a mother, of course....
who else would look out for the little man ?
who else always had ?

and so....
she continued forward....
softly, yet assertively, weaving 'their' pathway.....
with more than a hint of 'politique'...
she had a way....yes she did....
of opening the 'un openable'....
she would smoke out the nay sayers.....
in lithe fashion.....
with sanguine expectation....

only she knew the subtleties of making the boy feel like a 'king'....
without false or posed idiom....
an AUTHENTIC KING......

the thought made her lips curl into a sweet smile....
life was good indeed..
just needed a bit of 'tweeking'.....

youre not a cynic....

you're a beautiful woman who wants desperately to believe in LOVE....
you brush your hair and get manicured and you go out and
TRY TO FIND LOVE....
and i admire you so for believing....
it is I who am the CYNIC....
for as the days go by, nobody is up to snuff.....
nobody is good enough to make up for the bad that I've weathered....

so i SAY that i believe in LOVE....
BUT YOU, my friend, YOU LIVE IT !!!
and i am 100% certain that love will shine its  pink countenance upon your heart...

for Lori....xo

so I run over to BEST BUY this morning....

so that they can help me with my laptop.....
as its completely freaking out !
and there is a verrrrrrry long line there at the 'GEEK SQUAD'....
the 'geeks' are in HIGH DEMAND on this particular morning....
and I'm wearing extremely high heals....
and it's taking forever.....blah blah....
so i sit down on this bench to wait it out....

and this woman comes in....
with a kid in a stroller and a dog in a very silly, polka dotted scarf...
THE DOG was in the scarf !!
and the woman is wearing a POLKA DOTTED SKIRT to match with the dog's scarf  !!!
and the stroller is ALSO polka dotted.....

there is NO QUESTION as to the veracity of this statement !!!

and the woman is kind of 'prancing' around the people in line....
and ALL of these 'new yorkers'....( dressed in serious, dark colors)....
are rolling their eyes, etc....
at the silliness of this woman and her dog and her kid....

and then she comes over to the bench....
and kind of motions that i should move over....
so i do....
and then she plops herself and the kid and a huge bag down next to me
on this tiny bench.....
and she takes out this SLIMY, DISGUSTING MUSH for the dog !!!
and she sticks it RIGHT NEXT TO MY FOOT !!!!
and tells the dog to come eat it right on top of my foot !!!!
THIS REALLY HAPPENED !!!!

and the people in line are SHOCKED by the disgusting ness of the scene !!!
and I, needless to say, AM APPALLED BEYOND MEASURE !!!!

and this smug asshole just sits there,smiling in her freaking polka dotted haze.......
 allowing her little group to just completely
take over the space all around them !!!

and I lose my patience, which has come up Rather short anyway.....
from the incessant waiting .....
and I say to her ,
"THIS IS DISGUSTING !!!
 GET THAT DOG AND HIS SLIMY FOOD AWAY FROM ME  IMMEDIATELY !!!!"
and she is completely taken aback !!
and she's FRENCH, TO BOOT !!!
and she starts saying, in that affected, french way,
"this is a free countreeeee......and i can feed my dog wherever i want...."
and i say,
"look, idiot !!
THIS IS NOT SOME BACKSTREET IN FRANCE !!!
and get your freaking dog off of my foot NOW !!!!!"
and a woman in line starts saying, "GET YOUR DOG OFF OF HER FOOT !!!!"
and the ridiculous french woman starts
WAGGING HER FINGER
in my face !!!!
and asking me, "WHO DO YOU THIIINK YOUUUU ARRRE ??"
and I, in true form , start calling her a JEW HATER !!
LOL
and she picks up the slimy bowl of dog mush and the kid and the dog.....
and GAZILLIONS of POLKA DOTS go running out of the store !!!!
in a complete HUFF !!!

WHAT A COUNTRY !!!

it's happening !!

it's happening so quickly...
i can barely catch my breath !!!
you wait and wait for these moments to ARRIVE....
and then....
they PRETTY MUCH
"whoop you upside the head"
with their thunderous entrance !!!
and then, my friends, YOUR BLUFF IS CALLED !!
you can either RISE TO THE OCCASION.......
or forever wonder what might have been !!
"carpe diem !!"
WHO SAID THAT ???

ok !!! so i cancelled a few times !! SO WHAT ???

i mean, seriously....
it's not the end of the world !!
it's just a few thoughtless cancellations !!
chill out, dude !!
so what if you waited for hours and hours at some random restaurant bar ??
i mean...
i 'TEXTED' YOU , right ???
OK..
'granted ....
i probably should have 'texted' you 4 hours or so EARLIER ...
but i mean.....
come on !!
GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE !!
there are those of us who
 simply refuse to HOLD ON to the minutia !!
children are starving, right ???
I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU
DROVE
 for half a day
 IN
A TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR !!!
I REALLY DO !!!
how many different ways can i apologize for that ???
I THINK i apologized, right ???
oops !!
MY BAD......

why do we get so hung up on 'bad boys' ??

is it the SMELL of them ??
or the fact that the one in question is
SO FREAKING GORGEOUS ????

is it the nonchalant way that they
 answer a question with a shrug ??

the fact that everything about you amuses the hell outta them ???

is it the 'air of mystery' surrounding them ??
the fact that we are utterly challenged in ways that
 are wholly unfamiliar
 by them ??

what is it that makes us fall for these types ??

and why on earth do they think
 that its '''US''' that they have to keep an eye on  ???
this is a frustrating twist on a frustrating syndrome....
yes, sir .....
utterly frustrating !!

but when his lips touch yours......
OH MY GOD !!!
WATCH OUT !!!
fireworks happen !!
the sublime chemistry permeates the space.....
and we DON'T CARE how bad HE REALLY IS !!!!

throw me a rope, mi compadres !!!
FAST !!!

interesting juxtiposition of events...

mercury goes direct today.....
after wreaking its havoc on the human race....
(I'm not exaggerating !)

"aseret yemai teshuva"  (the ten days of repentance)
 are in full swing.....
YIKES !!!

yesterday was the 9TH anniversary of 9/11.....
OYY......

lemme see if i can come up with some GOOD THINGS....

uhhhh.....
sorry !!
CAN'T!!
SHOCKER !!!

HENCE......
we contemplate...
we plan....
we heal...

to what end ?,
you ask ?

this life, my friends,
 is filled with roller coasters of emotional upheaval
and with the ABSOLUTE, PARAMOUNT necessity
of becoming a
"situational chameleon" ....
at any given moment.....

and as we cling to some kind of semblance of order....
so as to feel ,
 albeit a fantasy,
somewhat SECURE......

we somehow lose sight of the consumate, BIGGER PICTURE.....
or.....
are we so engrossed and enveloped in that
BIGGER PICTURE,
that we've lost our way as individuals ??

ohhhhh......
GOBBLEDEEGOOK......

so i went to 'ground zero' today.....

to stand,
as a new yorker.....
as a Jew.....
AGAINST the mosque.....

and there were at least two groups of 'rally ers' there....

the PRO MOSQUE people
 (if you want categorize them as PEOPLE!)

and the ANTI MOSQUE people.....
( NOW ""THOSE"" ARE PEOPLE!! !)
:}}

what struck me, uniquivocally, was the rather pathetic grouping of
 ANTI MOSQUE protesters....
everyone talks a very big game......
but when push comes to shove, do they ACTUALLY SHOW UP ???
or is the ""republican banner""
 some new amusement to treat a boring and lackluster life ??

there were weird groupings of people....weirrrrd.......
these five women, screaming.......
literally screaming......
for the rights of americans to worship freely.......
REGARDLESS OF HOW DISGUSTING THEY ARE !!!~
I SWEAR !!
I'M QUOTING WORD FOR WORD !!

and there were those random, seventies leftover guys.....
with the beards down to their navels...
just there to argue anything that remotely sounds "anti establishment"....

there were babies with american flags....
and moslem guys speakin in arabic on their CELLs.......:}
TO THEIR CELLS maybe ???

just a disappointing show of new yorkers on this monumental,
DAY OF LOSS.....

i don't know, people......
how you expect
"resolution without SOLIDARITY"...
i need to SHAKE YOU !!!

september 11th.....

here we are .....

has the world ALLOWED this siege on humankind
 to balloon and swell into FULL BLOWN ,WARFARE ??

a war of THEOLOGY...
of  'PERVESE' CORRECTNESS ....
of a people fighting against their OWN ELECTED LEADER ?

AGAINST
""OUR"""
 OWN LEADER !!!
THE BLASPHEMOUS, HEINOUS LEADER
THAT
 """we"""
VOTED INTO OFFICE !!!!

FOR GODS SAKE !!!!
its like they "bated and switched us"...
and IT WORKED !!!!

FIGHTING FOR our LIVES ...
our INALIENABLE, NONNEGOTIABLE
""" RIGHTS""" .....

fighting in order for OUR children to
 SLEEP SAFELY.....
under NO threat of bombings.....

of airplanes flying into buildings !!!!

what have WE done, people ???
what demise have we brought unto ourselves ???

i will, personally,
NEVER FORGET THAT DAY.....
living in Manhattan.....
watching throngs of people WALKING......
THE MARCH OF THE DEAD......
inhaling the odd fumes of burnt flesh and boiled cement.....
ash everywhere.....
taking my baby boy to play in the park......
the throngs continuing by.....

i lost my innocence on that fateful day........
i had been fearless up until that point....
COMFORTABLE....

September 11th.....
REMEMBER, FOOLS.....
TREAD LIGHTLY, YOU DEVILS.....

the days are gorgeous.....

and the nights have a 'lilting' breeze......
we have, in fact,
entered a
NEW YEAR....

and our hopes are HIGH....

we hope for JUSTICE
and LAUGHTER....
and ETIQUETTE......LOL.....
and A NEW PRESIDENT !!!!(that ones gonna be a toughy !!)

we hope for PINK ELEPHANTS...
(cause were sick and tired of the WHITE ONES,
hiding in the corner of the room !!!)

and we wish fervently for our heart cavities
 to OPEN to the unilateral possibility of LOVE.....

we hope for MORE CARB FREE RECIPES....:}}
and for the parking tickets to magically disappear....
and for our loved ones to find salvation and peace in their
 complex
 "sojourning".....

we hope for our new book to land
 SMACK !!!!  >>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 on the
NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER LIST !!!

we hope for the home with the exquisite,
river views to become available.....

we hope for peace on earth....

lofty, ethereal, and
"""UTTERLY POSSIBLE""" ASPIRATIONS....
served up with fervent prayer,

from your
"GODDESS XREBBETZIN.....

we reflect back on the year ending......

and we have bittersweet sentiment....
a mixed cadre of situational gestalt....
ONLY assessable in hindsight.....

what have we accomplished ?
whom have we loved ?
in what ways have we helped ?
were we able to withhold judgment and critique ?
are our children clean and safe ?
is our pathway lined with 'gold'
 or some cheap, metal substitute ?

we fill the ROSH HASHANAH basket
 with apples and honey and virtuosity.....
we send salutations....
we prepare our synagogue tickets...
we set out our holiday finery....

but....
have we evolved into more upstanding people ?
REALLY HAVE WE ???

we tuck the nagging question back into the folds of our consciousness.....

is it too late ??
can we repent on this holiday ???
WRONG HOLIDAY ???
ya think ??

WE ARE REMINDED OF 'BABEL'.....
nations upon nations....
MIXED.....
CHAOTIC NOMENCLATURE......

we have had to take a HARD LINE against intruders.....
to the unfortunate chagrin of others...

all well and good....
but bravery and leadership are a LONELY FORTE....
in a world filled with compromise and grenades.....

having said that.......
a shiny, new year is opening its wings to us...
we will soar amid the wondrous airspace......

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY AND GORGEOUS NEW YEAR TO ALL......
GMAR CHATIMA TOVA...

they helicoptered over manhattan......

HE HAD INSISTED ON IT.......

she had never actually seen the four sides of central park.....
certainly not from this angle....:}
she was somewhat taken aback....

Manhattan was,
 after all the bravado was set aside,
quite small actually.....
a small rectangle.......

and such BIG LIVES were carried OUT here....

an island, surrounded by water.....
DIRTY, UNCTUOUS WATER....:}}
well....
maybe the inhabitants
 WERE DIRTY AND UNCTUOUS...
and the water was simply a byproduct of them...

the veritable ""throngs"" of people.....
going faster and faster,,,,,
in all directions......
like chickens without heads......
going nowhere of any significance......
but DEMANDING TO GET THERE !!!
SERIOUS, SERIOUS,
HURRIED AND HARRIED,
 THRONGS OF CHICKENS.......

well....
she was kind of humoring him in any case....
he felt rather important in his
"whirly bird".....
issuing orders and commands to his pilot...
the pilot on his payroll.....

why not just let him have his fun ??
feel like a man.....
an IMPORTANT man.....
why not ??

she was secure enough to allow him his moment in the sun......
a SECURE WOMAN....
a woman of substantial CHARACTER......
and of course.....
of ultimate, feminine wile.....

there was a bird flying next to the helicopter.....
next to her window....
how strange !!!
it seemed to be smiling at her....
its eyes were smiling.....

and bizarrely,
it was the ONLY BIRD IN THE ENTIRE SKY !!!
a lone birdy....
smiling.....
in a blue, vacuous sky....
with no peers.....
no contemporaries....
odd.......
very, very odd.....

was she dreaming ???
she pinched herself....
her skin felt cold....
SO COLD....
was she dead ???

a blog for 'CONNIE'.....

she couldn't find her words......
she was engulfed by emotion and rhetorical nuance......

they were attempting to DIVIDE the nation......
the blessed land......
the land of 'milk and honey'
and holiness and sanctity......

attempting to divide the UN DIVIDABLE !!!!

but have no fear, my "CONNIE DEAR"......
GOD will sustain the promise....
those villains and criminals will NEVER take hold
of TITLE......
of OWNERSHIP.....
of EQUITY POSITION......

NEVER.......

the words are right "here",
sitting on the tip of your tongue......

GOD WILL SUSTAIN US>>>>>>>>>>

THE WORDS ARE RIGHT HERE, CONNIE DEAR......

and as summer came to a SPARKLING FINISH....

one could literally feel the crackling in the air....
as if GOD had somehow set a timer to go off
on EXACTLY the
appointed time and day....

and after all.....
she thought....
wasn't this just utterly poetic ???
and absolutely the way life happened ??

there was a STRONG and POIGNANT ORDER to things....
nothing was HAPPENSTANCE.....

IT HAD ALL BEEN SELECTIVELY and
 PAINSTAKINGLY DESIGNED.....

designed magnificently, so as to APPEAR arbitrary....

the concept brought a smile to her lips....
the irony of EVERYTHING amused her so......

the hot, summer days had "slow-danced" right by......
and yet.....they had left the premises,
with only a toothbrush in tow.......
promising, somehow, to return next year.....

melancholy baby....
melancholy girl.......

an ostrich could be heard in the distance,
SCREAMING......
 preparing to be skinned alive,
in order to facilitate the
PRODUCTION OF THE SEASON'S NEW BOOTS....

she found the invitation on the foyer table......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WpdSh8VYd4a parchment scroll.....
wrapped with a delicate, blue ribbon.....

somehow, it had been buried under
bills and catalogues and essential clutter.....
FOR WEEKS !!

and, of course, she had jumped to the conclusion.....
that she had been LEFT OUT....
that she was unwanted,
unneeded somehow.....
superfluous.....

why did she ALWAYS assume the worst ??
how had she become so JADED ??

the notion disturbed her greatly.....
she had worked laboriously at 'ASCENSION'.....
at 'detaching' from the fray......
from the ordinary.....

and yet, when it came to simply,
"giving the benefit of the doubt".....
she was lost......
a prisoner of her own sense of inadequacy.....
of her vast, personal insecurity.....

she would continue to BELIEVE.....
in people......
in a sense of significance..
in a world bereft of 'unfairness and ineqity'.....

most importantly.....
she would continue to LOVE HERSELF.....
without caveat.....
without exception.....

indeed, this would take more practice.....
more yoga.....
more meditation.....
mantras of self worth.....
of unconditional acceptance.....

and she would continue her quite admirable attempts at forgiveness.....

the problem was not with HER, per se......
it was with the 'others'.....
they were far from becoming 'illumined' themselves.....
they were stuck in some kind of vaccum of yesterday's norms....
their codes of conduct seemed blurred, at best.....

nonetheless.....
she would shake off the judgment....the pain of betrayal.....

"netty netty", she would chant......
"i am not my body...."
"i am not my thoughts..."

holy shit !!!!

a MOSQUE just ran by !!!!
it had teeth and whiskers,
 and it was wearing Birkenstocks !!!
and it had a rolled up matt on its back !!!
and it was eating a big, slimy hunk of cheese.....
with CUMIN or some crazy shit like that sprinkled on top !!!

AND THERE WERE REPUBLICANS
 CHASING ITS ASS ALL THE WAY
DOWNTOWN !!!!

and there were grandstands, filled with LIBERALS....
whining and lamenting over their own broken shoelaces
 and some HUMAN RIGHTS ISSUE.....or other.....

AND THERE WERE 'POLITICIANS'
ON THE WRONNNG SIDE OF THE FENCE !!!

I'M NOT KIDDING !!!!

and then the firemen came......
and they were FIT TO BE TIED !!!!

CHASING THAT LITTLE RASCAL OF A 'MOSQUE'......
til it couldn't see the light of day !!!!

and the 'mosque' began to WEEP.....
BIG, CROCODILE TEARS....
saying.....
"I'm sorry to have caused such a stink !!!!"

but too late.....
woe is me.....

the little 'mosque' landed.......
ker plopp !!!
on its side......
fallen from a realllly hard,
fast,
 falafel ball to the groin .....

they fear being taken out to pasture....

those who have seen more 'fit' days...
and they feel wholly undignified and ashamed....
of their chronological actuality....
so they hide....
behind their guarded wall of stoic foibles and old egg salad sandwiches......
'forget me nots' are picked by their heirs and handed,
in bunches,
to them......
so as to never cast aspersion on the their honourable intentions...
the gardens of their old age grow ever slowly in the
 dimming sunlight of their mind's eye....
one can still see a butterfly broach from a bi gone era......
attached to a blazer no longer worn.....
and yet....
we hope....
 on some deeply buried level.....
that they will somehow hang on to themselves....
not allowing the 'darkness' to overtake the twilight.....

with love, for MOM....
SHABBAT SHALOM

she had tried so hard to tell them......

but they had simply shrugged her lamentations and warnings off....
as if she were speaking gibberish.....
or some foreign tongue even......
unrecognizable...irrational.....

she possessed that kind of 'knowing' ,
which left one feeling categorically 'allienated'...
as nobody really wanted or needed to get involved.....

she had begged them to help her....
they had ignored her pleas,,,,

and now....
OF COURSE.....
her every prophesy had come "UNILATERALLY TRUE"....
GOSPEL.....
according to the woman, branded with the 'scarlet letter'.....

who was really to blame here ???

was it the man with the over-sized, Napoleonic ego ???

or the crazy, dried up, old hag.......
with the delusion of being
SOMEONE SIGNIFICANT ???

was it the worthless.....
AND I DO MEAN ""WORTHLESS""
 EXCUSE
OF A MOTHER ??
that frantic, nasty RODENT of a woman ??

or was it the narcissistic padre ??
ever busy in his own ARENA ???

the only thing, at this point, that was crystal clear....
is that SHE......
the "sumptuous prophetess"....
had earned those kudos and niceties the HARD WAY.....
IT WAS ABOUT TIME
SHE BE RECOGNIZED AS
A LEADER IN THE FREE WORLD !!!!

YES !!!
YES !!!

the golden trophies were being handed out....
to the 'special ones'.....

she would keep hers 'perched'
 upon the windowsill of the new apartment........
as a tribute to her exceptional ability to persevere........

an ironic tale...

a family torn by scavengers and 'deal breakers'....
amidst sensitive and trying waters.....

the lioness, as is her organic inclination,
will rise to the defense of her family......
(whichever shape that family takes on....)
claws sharpened......battle ready.......

for SHE....
and SHE ALONE.....
will be the ONE allowed to attack !!!
GOD help the 'others' who try.....
she will crush them with her force and
collateral determination.....
MAKE NO MISTAKE !!!

be very, very careful when you elect to cross
this lioness's path......
NEVER UNDERESTIMATE HER....
she will track you down as roadkill......
hunt you to the farthest reaches of the kingdom.....
and then some.....

CONSPIRE NOT AGAINST HER....
Nor against her cubs....
Nor against her cub's cubs.....

I'M WARNING YOU ON THIS....

the woman sat on the windowsill in the empty apartment.....

looking at the glorious, sparkling water.....
through the outrageously, ethereal, glass windows....
surrounded by beauty and luxury....
feeling DEEPLY SPIRITUAL....
anticipating the coming events....
with her heart 'aglow'....

GOD had stepped in......yet again......
and served up ANSWERS to chilling questions.....
the ultimate resolutionist....

AMAZING !!!
AMAZING !!!
how it ALWAYS WORKED OUT FOR HER !!!!
she was a true LEO.....
with life after life 'in play'......
her feline eyes smiled at the thought....

her mind kept flashing back to the night before....
mmm......
she couldn't quite shake the scenes.....
IN TRUTH, SHE DIDN'T QUITE WANT TO !!!
her hair was tousled and rumpled ...
JUST like the 1000 thread count duvet.....
things were indeed looking well this fine morning.....:}}

cinnamon coffee......
FACEBOOK......:}}
mmm......