he had jumped,
head first,
into a pool of COLD, BLUE JELLO.....
and landed directly on his NOSE.....
HARD !!
and blood was pouring everywhere.......
infecting the gelatinous mass with its redness.......
and creating veritable buckets of oozing, dark slime......
so in essence.....
he was UPSIDE DOWN,
encased in slime.....:}}
needless to say, things had not gone as planned for him.....
the JUMP was purported to have made him a STAR ....
and it would have ........
were they looking for a sleazy, bloody guy....
with a totally flattened nose .......:}}
covered in blue jello.......
CRYING !!!!
as per usual, this chump had miscalculated.....
and ruined yet ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY at the brass ring....
so he left for home.....
self deprecating........
disgusted really.....
with the knowledge welling up inside of him......
that he was NOTHING......
but a LOSER.....
a FAILURE...
his greed and lack of finesse had ultimately RUINED HIM.....
the paparazzi were waiting there, however.....
by the entrance to THE garage....
waiting to record the images of the unfortunate bloke,
yet again,
in his extraordinary "tomfoolery"...
what would their captions read ??
how could they make this pathetic display newsworthy ??
(their bosses ALWAYS insisted upon 'featuring him'....)
BUT WHY ???
goodness !!!
as they poked around ,
feverishly,
in their
'bags of 'REPORTING' tricks',
they realized.....
to their horror.....
that they were running low on
'TOOLS OF SENSATIONALISM' !!!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
and they approach you.....
and they want you to CARRY THE CAUSE.....
to fight the fight....
but within their 'politically correct' parameters.....
WHAT ??
and when the assassins come in the middle of the night
to make certain that your YELLOW ARM BAND is in place....
WILL YOU BE POLITE ??
allow them to secure the band in a 'LADYLIKE' FASHION ???
i, for one, have had it with these nimrod, "do-gooders"..
THERE IS A WAR GOING ON, PEOPLE !!!
WAKE UP !!!
TAKE NOTE !!!
all of your liberal rhetoric will insure the demise of the nation(s).....
make NO MISTAKE........
and those flowery,
generous DISCUSSIONS will be but
"superfluous fluff"......
served up on a bed of HALAL sandwiches
and REMORSE......
to fight the fight....
but within their 'politically correct' parameters.....
WHAT ??
and when the assassins come in the middle of the night
to make certain that your YELLOW ARM BAND is in place....
WILL YOU BE POLITE ??
allow them to secure the band in a 'LADYLIKE' FASHION ???
i, for one, have had it with these nimrod, "do-gooders"..
THERE IS A WAR GOING ON, PEOPLE !!!
WAKE UP !!!
TAKE NOTE !!!
all of your liberal rhetoric will insure the demise of the nation(s).....
make NO MISTAKE........
and those flowery,
generous DISCUSSIONS will be but
"superfluous fluff"......
served up on a bed of HALAL sandwiches
and REMORSE......
Friday, July 30, 2010
and they were friends.....
and their friends were friends.....
and their kids were friends.....
and their kids' friends became THEIR friends.......
and it was a kind of 'nepotistic' way of life...
as they KNEW EVERYTHING...
about EVERYTHING.......
and more....:}}
and it became increasingly difficult to differentiate
between friends and family and kids and friends of friends......
so that......
when one fell and scraped a knee......
the pain and blood reverberated and channelled
through 'DOZENS' of kneecaps...
difficult to explain.....
with the exception of those of you
WHO WERE THERE !!!
you know who you are !!!!
AND SO ON.....
and their kids were friends.....
and their kids' friends became THEIR friends.......
and it was a kind of 'nepotistic' way of life...
as they KNEW EVERYTHING...
about EVERYTHING.......
and more....:}}
and it became increasingly difficult to differentiate
between friends and family and kids and friends of friends......
so that......
when one fell and scraped a knee......
the pain and blood reverberated and channelled
through 'DOZENS' of kneecaps...
difficult to explain.....
with the exception of those of you
WHO WERE THERE !!!
you know who you are !!!!
AND SO ON.....
missy sat on a bench....
in central park....
inhaling the humidity...
through 'bloated' nostrils.....:}
breathing in the fumes from the buses.....
feeling new york....
this had never really felt like home to Missy...
all the cars and people and deadlines and hypocrisy...
she longed for blue ocean.....
and for that kind of SILENCE where
"sound can be distinguished from interruption...."
nonetheless..
HERE SHE WAS.....
another summer in exile.....
away from the sand.....
far away from the water....
the urban swimming pool could not really capture the ESSENCE of Missy....
in her glory...
it was but a small, turquoise rectangle,
filled with urine and chlorine and pieces of diapers....
HARDLY AN OASIS....
she would head for the shore......
as soon as she had seen to
ALL OF THOSE 'heady' RESPONSIBILITIES......
she would look for an umbrella to sit under....
while stirring the Mai Thai IN HAND......:}}
with that candy-striped, straw of //////concession////////.......
the motorcycle with the energy-efficient exhaust....
would come in handy tonight !!
and away she would FLY.......
inhaling the humidity...
through 'bloated' nostrils.....:}
breathing in the fumes from the buses.....
feeling new york....
this had never really felt like home to Missy...
all the cars and people and deadlines and hypocrisy...
she longed for blue ocean.....
and for that kind of SILENCE where
"sound can be distinguished from interruption...."
nonetheless..
HERE SHE WAS.....
another summer in exile.....
away from the sand.....
far away from the water....
the urban swimming pool could not really capture the ESSENCE of Missy....
in her glory...
it was but a small, turquoise rectangle,
filled with urine and chlorine and pieces of diapers....
HARDLY AN OASIS....
she would head for the shore......
as soon as she had seen to
ALL OF THOSE 'heady' RESPONSIBILITIES......
she would look for an umbrella to sit under....
while stirring the Mai Thai IN HAND......:}}
with that candy-striped, straw of //////concession////////.......
the motorcycle with the energy-efficient exhaust....
would come in handy tonight !!
and away she would FLY.......
Thursday, July 29, 2010
they waited with 'stealth'....
until the appropriate moment to POUNCE would expose itself....
and then they would move forward....
as if motorized......by the opportunity at HAND....
all too aware.....
that SCRUTINY was upon their backs and shoulder blades........
that even in the most sublime 'innocence'.....
a question of 'valour' would pervade the scene...
nonetheless.....
they , anxiously,
yet patiently,
awaited the signal....
FROM that ,
forboding , red LIGHT at the top of the 'watchtower'.....
to turn its retisant 'colour' UPWARD.....
timing, sir.....
is EVERYTHING......
and then they would move forward....
as if motorized......by the opportunity at HAND....
all too aware.....
that SCRUTINY was upon their backs and shoulder blades........
that even in the most sublime 'innocence'.....
a question of 'valour' would pervade the scene...
nonetheless.....
they , anxiously,
yet patiently,
awaited the signal....
FROM that ,
forboding , red LIGHT at the top of the 'watchtower'.....
to turn its retisant 'colour' UPWARD.....
timing, sir.....
is EVERYTHING......
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
way beyond the blue.....
in that DEVOUT AND conspicuous GATEWAY in the sky....
a SMALL bird has lost its way.....
gone and flown TOO HIGH....
above the atmospheric boundaries of its organic nature...
so that.....
its species cannot accompany it to the other side.....
poor, little, overly ambitious creature....
our hearts go out to you,
as you fly threw the entrance COLUMNS of the
"PLATINUM BOUDOIR"....
en route to the BUDAHIC kingdom....
the ultimate 'parkway'....
there are angels strumming on their harpsichords.....
awaiting your ARRIVAL.....
feathered friend.....
they've informed us that you will continue to fly......
through MYOPIC glass......
and A HARVEST OF candelabrum.....
bon voyage, sweet thing.......
a bientot.....
we will remember you .......
a SMALL bird has lost its way.....
gone and flown TOO HIGH....
above the atmospheric boundaries of its organic nature...
so that.....
its species cannot accompany it to the other side.....
poor, little, overly ambitious creature....
our hearts go out to you,
as you fly threw the entrance COLUMNS of the
"PLATINUM BOUDOIR"....
en route to the BUDAHIC kingdom....
the ultimate 'parkway'....
there are angels strumming on their harpsichords.....
awaiting your ARRIVAL.....
feathered friend.....
they've informed us that you will continue to fly......
through MYOPIC glass......
and A HARVEST OF candelabrum.....
bon voyage, sweet thing.......
a bientot.....
we will remember you .......
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
part 2.....missy's day SUCKS......
Missy steps out of the cab,
suddenly realizing,
to her horror....
that she has left her BLACKBERRY in the
"ACCIDENT TAXI" !!!
oh, no !!!!!!
what to do now ??
and as she's crossing park avenue,
walking toward the therapist's building,
the packet of papers in her hands spills out....
and goes flying all across the sidewalk....
AND IT IS SO HOT OUT !!!!!
did i mention that already ???
:}}
she picks up the papers.....
crosses over to the park avenue building.....
and asks the doorman to direct her to the 'therapist's office'.......
the doorman says, in a somewhat obnoxious tone......
"WE HAVE MANY THERAPISTS, MADAM...."
"what is the therapist's name ?"
Missy, somewhat embarrassed,
says that she hadn't taken note of the name....
but that ....
if they put their heads together,
she is CERTAIN that they can find the therapist in question....
how complicated can it be, after all ??
the doorman starts lamenting about his job....
telling her that he will be FIRED if he bothers the
"PLETHORA"
OF THERAPISTS
in the building !!
but Missy being "Missy".......:}}
convinces him to knock quietly on each and every door ....
in the hopes that the phantom therapist will APPEAR.....
they come to a door in the back of the building.....
the doorman 'rat-a-tat-tats' delicately on the door......
a verrrrrrrrrrrry old man opens the door......
I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW OLD THIS MAN WAS !!!!
cobwebs were HANGING from his ears !!!!!
HE IS INCENSED AT THE INTRUSION !!!
Missy RUNS OUT OF THE BUILDING.....
telling the doorman that the people are old and freaky there !!!
and that she must leave immediately !!!!
she goes home, deflated and disparaged from the
ABSURD WASTE OF TIME AND MONEYof the long, aggravating day.....
only to find a message on her land line.....
from the therapist, asking
WHERE SHE IS ??.....
Missy calls the therapist and apologizes profusely,
only to be met by a
VERY INSULTED PERSON ON THE PHONE....
asking,
"WHY THE HELL
MISSY DOESN'T THINK THE BUILDING
IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER ???
and enumerating the long list of celebrities and socialites
who, in fact, live in and frequent the building !!!
Missy calmly asks the 'crazed' and 'severely insecure' doctor on the line,
whether BULLYING and SCREAMING at her prospective patients
is really worthwhile....
clearly there would be no future appointment ......
the therapist is LIVID !!!!!
Missy promptly hangs up the phone.......
some days it's just NOT worth it.......
suddenly realizing,
to her horror....
that she has left her BLACKBERRY in the
"ACCIDENT TAXI" !!!
oh, no !!!!!!
what to do now ??
and as she's crossing park avenue,
walking toward the therapist's building,
the packet of papers in her hands spills out....
and goes flying all across the sidewalk....
AND IT IS SO HOT OUT !!!!!
did i mention that already ???
:}}
she picks up the papers.....
crosses over to the park avenue building.....
and asks the doorman to direct her to the 'therapist's office'.......
the doorman says, in a somewhat obnoxious tone......
"WE HAVE MANY THERAPISTS, MADAM...."
"what is the therapist's name ?"
Missy, somewhat embarrassed,
says that she hadn't taken note of the name....
but that ....
if they put their heads together,
she is CERTAIN that they can find the therapist in question....
how complicated can it be, after all ??
the doorman starts lamenting about his job....
telling her that he will be FIRED if he bothers the
"PLETHORA"
OF THERAPISTS
in the building !!
but Missy being "Missy".......:}}
convinces him to knock quietly on each and every door ....
in the hopes that the phantom therapist will APPEAR.....
they come to a door in the back of the building.....
the doorman 'rat-a-tat-tats' delicately on the door......
a verrrrrrrrrrrry old man opens the door......
I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW OLD THIS MAN WAS !!!!
cobwebs were HANGING from his ears !!!!!
HE IS INCENSED AT THE INTRUSION !!!
Missy RUNS OUT OF THE BUILDING.....
telling the doorman that the people are old and freaky there !!!
and that she must leave immediately !!!!
she goes home, deflated and disparaged from the
ABSURD WASTE OF TIME AND MONEYof the long, aggravating day.....
only to find a message on her land line.....
from the therapist, asking
WHERE SHE IS ??.....
Missy calls the therapist and apologizes profusely,
only to be met by a
VERY INSULTED PERSON ON THE PHONE....
asking,
"WHY THE HELL
MISSY DOESN'T THINK THE BUILDING
IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER ???
and enumerating the long list of celebrities and socialites
who, in fact, live in and frequent the building !!!
Missy calmly asks the 'crazed' and 'severely insecure' doctor on the line,
whether BULLYING and SCREAMING at her prospective patients
is really worthwhile....
clearly there would be no future appointment ......
the therapist is LIVID !!!!!
Missy promptly hangs up the phone.......
some days it's just NOT worth it.......
so........the day begins simply...
Missy has scheduled her annual doctor's appointment....
she heads out and takes a taxi some thirty blocks south of her apartment....
and when she arrives, the doctor's office is unusually busy and crowded....
many people are apparently waiting to see him....
hmm...
she takes a seat in the overly populated, waiting room.....
and an hour goes by.....
an hour and a half......
she has other appointments throughout the day, and she begins to
feel anxious.....
finally.....they call her name.....
and she is ushered into an office in the basement of the building....
the doctor comes in.....
she's been his patient for many years.....
he announces that he is no longer
PRACTICING MEDICINE !!!
WHAT ????!!!
she asks why on earth they didn't inform her of this strange piece of information.......
and he sort of shrugs her off....
telling her he's sorry....
(I'm quoting now)....
"the office FUCKED UP."....
Missy is somewhat taken aback....
by the doctor's CRUDE INNUENDO...
and extremely perplexed by his clear disregard of her time.....
she HUFFS out......
returns home, in order to settle
certain business matters .....
and she determines that her anger is,
somehow.......
disproportionate to the incident.......
perhaps "UN befitting" of 'the crime'......
and she decides to seek out a local therapist,
in order to properly
VENT HER IRE.....
she promptly GOOGLEs
"therapists on the upper east side"......
finds a group on upper park avenue.....
and canoodles her way into a 'same day' appointment within the hour.....
missy heads out....
confident that the visit to the local therapist's office will
help her to regain her composure,
as well as putting the incident into the
"annoying box of unfulfilled wishes"
and 'ultimate perspective'......
she hails a taxi, once again....
IT IS HOT OUT THERE.....
SWELTERING.....
a taxi stops....
she apprises him of the location she wants.....
and as they pull away from the curb.....
the taxi SMACKS into a TRUCK !!!!!!!
missy goes flying.....
the cab driver gets out and starts screaming at the truck driver...
even though it was 100% HIS OWN FAULT !!!
missy jumps out of the taxi........
and hails another one, not wanting to miss the upcoming appointment....
after insinuating her way into the therapist's schedule so blatantly !!
stay tuned.........
she heads out and takes a taxi some thirty blocks south of her apartment....
and when she arrives, the doctor's office is unusually busy and crowded....
many people are apparently waiting to see him....
hmm...
she takes a seat in the overly populated, waiting room.....
and an hour goes by.....
an hour and a half......
she has other appointments throughout the day, and she begins to
feel anxious.....
finally.....they call her name.....
and she is ushered into an office in the basement of the building....
the doctor comes in.....
she's been his patient for many years.....
he announces that he is no longer
PRACTICING MEDICINE !!!
WHAT ????!!!
she asks why on earth they didn't inform her of this strange piece of information.......
and he sort of shrugs her off....
telling her he's sorry....
(I'm quoting now)....
"the office FUCKED UP."....
Missy is somewhat taken aback....
by the doctor's CRUDE INNUENDO...
and extremely perplexed by his clear disregard of her time.....
she HUFFS out......
returns home, in order to settle
certain business matters .....
and she determines that her anger is,
somehow.......
disproportionate to the incident.......
perhaps "UN befitting" of 'the crime'......
and she decides to seek out a local therapist,
in order to properly
VENT HER IRE.....
she promptly GOOGLEs
"therapists on the upper east side"......
finds a group on upper park avenue.....
and canoodles her way into a 'same day' appointment within the hour.....
missy heads out....
confident that the visit to the local therapist's office will
help her to regain her composure,
as well as putting the incident into the
"annoying box of unfulfilled wishes"
and 'ultimate perspective'......
she hails a taxi, once again....
IT IS HOT OUT THERE.....
SWELTERING.....
a taxi stops....
she apprises him of the location she wants.....
and as they pull away from the curb.....
the taxi SMACKS into a TRUCK !!!!!!!
missy goes flying.....
the cab driver gets out and starts screaming at the truck driver...
even though it was 100% HIS OWN FAULT !!!
missy jumps out of the taxi........
and hails another one, not wanting to miss the upcoming appointment....
after insinuating her way into the therapist's schedule so blatantly !!
stay tuned.........
what a woman wants.....
do NOT make the mistake....
dear sir...:}}
of "underestimating" a woman......
with a plan !!
she will KNOCK YOU OVER !!
and set you on fire !!!
and allow her tires to smash your feet to smithereens !!
she will not stop ,,,,,,,
until she has that which she desires in the palm of her
delicately, manicured, left hand....
don't say i didn't warn you !!!
there is NOTHING IN LIFE
more POWERFUL......
than a woman's desire.....
so.....
I've said it as clearly and as vehemently as i possibly can....
hopefully having made somewhat of an impression upon your dumb ass...
so.....
DON'T CALL ME TOMORROW !!!
and cry,.....
"WHAAAA WHAAAA !!!!"
"why didn't you tell me it would be so bad ????"
COWBOY.......
this is ME TELLING YOU !!!
dear sir...:}}
of "underestimating" a woman......
with a plan !!
she will KNOCK YOU OVER !!
and set you on fire !!!
and allow her tires to smash your feet to smithereens !!
she will not stop ,,,,,,,
until she has that which she desires in the palm of her
delicately, manicured, left hand....
don't say i didn't warn you !!!
there is NOTHING IN LIFE
more POWERFUL......
than a woman's desire.....
so.....
I've said it as clearly and as vehemently as i possibly can....
hopefully having made somewhat of an impression upon your dumb ass...
so.....
DON'T CALL ME TOMORROW !!!
and cry,.....
"WHAAAA WHAAAA !!!!"
"why didn't you tell me it would be so bad ????"
COWBOY.......
this is ME TELLING YOU !!!
the proverbial 'fork' in the road...
i think that we know very well.....
when we have reached that impasse of 'no return'.....
the human condition is such that....
although a trusted and 'predictable'
routine may somehow be comforting...
the heart will need
a NEW RESTING PLACE,
upon which to beat its 'somehow pernicious' drum
to its 'own' stallworth brand of
" woes and philandering "...
confusing beings.....we humans are....
filled with cataclysm and putty and repercussion.....
and MEMORY and conscience.......
and yearnings.....
and faux pas......
so we change our location for a bit...
in order to assign a FRESH VIEWPOINT......
in order to 'eclipse' the fluorescent light of redundancy.......
and so it goes....
when we have reached that impasse of 'no return'.....
the human condition is such that....
although a trusted and 'predictable'
routine may somehow be comforting...
the heart will need
a NEW RESTING PLACE,
upon which to beat its 'somehow pernicious' drum
to its 'own' stallworth brand of
" woes and philandering "...
confusing beings.....we humans are....
filled with cataclysm and putty and repercussion.....
and MEMORY and conscience.......
and yearnings.....
and faux pas......
so we change our location for a bit...
in order to assign a FRESH VIEWPOINT......
in order to 'eclipse' the fluorescent light of redundancy.......
and so it goes....
Monday, July 26, 2010
is it genetics ???
is it testosterone ??
WHAT MAKES MEN SO CLUELESS ???
you gotta wonder what they've experienced ...
is theirs so different from our own history ??
do we, as women,
just INTERPRET THINGS DIFFERENTLY ???
do they even KNOW HOW TO INTERPRET ???
what makes MEN SO DUMB ???
further.....
why did our mothers advise us so FERVENTLY
to perpetually
MAKE THEM FEEL POWERFUL AND SMART
AND 'IN CONTROL'???
its perverse, in a way ....
it appears to be ASS BACKWARDS !!
i mean.....
can you argue this point ??
am i missing something ???
did i miss that day in school ??
YES....
YES.....
"MEN ARE FROM MARS".....
blah blah.....
but it goes so much DEEPER THAN THAT....
is it the linear quality of a man's physique ??
pondering.....
canoodling......
WHAT MAKES MEN SO CLUELESS ???
you gotta wonder what they've experienced ...
is theirs so different from our own history ??
do we, as women,
just INTERPRET THINGS DIFFERENTLY ???
do they even KNOW HOW TO INTERPRET ???
what makes MEN SO DUMB ???
further.....
why did our mothers advise us so FERVENTLY
to perpetually
MAKE THEM FEEL POWERFUL AND SMART
AND 'IN CONTROL'???
its perverse, in a way ....
it appears to be ASS BACKWARDS !!
i mean.....
can you argue this point ??
am i missing something ???
did i miss that day in school ??
YES....
YES.....
"MEN ARE FROM MARS".....
blah blah.....
but it goes so much DEEPER THAN THAT....
is it the linear quality of a man's physique ??
pondering.....
canoodling......
Sunday, July 25, 2010
missy is stumped......PARALYZED REALLY......
there are farrr too many deterrents coming at her at one time....
she cannot focus.....
she cannot breath !!!
she must deflate the balloon of minutia immediately....
in order to consolidate
the 'watermelon rinds'
of picnics gone 'awry'....
how many are TOO MANY ???
husbands ??
scandals ??
summer camp photos ???
carbs ???
parking violations ??
jdates ??
seriously, dudes.....
WHEN IS ENOUGH ...ENOUGH ????
YES !!!
consolidate and organize and filter the minutia !!!
first thing tomorrow....
AFTER THE VISIT TO THE GERIATRIC FACILITY.....
AFTER THE ROLLING HILLS....
and.....
for gods sake....
AFTER THE NEXT JDATE !!
Missy in the CITY ???
NO WAY !!!
Missy in the Caribbean......
yes !!!
that's what I'm talkin' about !!
she will purchase a ONE WAY TICKET to the blue, blue water......
and she will 'PUP' HER TENT......
and that's that.....
until the scandals and jdates and courtroom dramas die down to
basic, human proportion.......
to their lowest, common denominator....
until perspective and JUDGMENT and KARMA are restored......
or rather...
CREATED......
until equitable stance is once again on the menu.....
FISH !!
yes !!!
SHE WILL CONSUME BUCKETS FULL OF FISH.....
and the essential, fatty, omegas will fillibuster through the
TOXIC WASTE.....
don't doubt MISSY on this !!!!
she is FULL OF SURPRISES.....
and health tips...
and quandry......
and HEIGHTENED EDITORIAL.....
she cannot focus.....
she cannot breath !!!
she must deflate the balloon of minutia immediately....
in order to consolidate
the 'watermelon rinds'
of picnics gone 'awry'....
how many are TOO MANY ???
husbands ??
scandals ??
summer camp photos ???
carbs ???
parking violations ??
jdates ??
seriously, dudes.....
WHEN IS ENOUGH ...ENOUGH ????
YES !!!
consolidate and organize and filter the minutia !!!
first thing tomorrow....
AFTER THE VISIT TO THE GERIATRIC FACILITY.....
AFTER THE ROLLING HILLS....
and.....
for gods sake....
AFTER THE NEXT JDATE !!
Missy in the CITY ???
NO WAY !!!
Missy in the Caribbean......
yes !!!
that's what I'm talkin' about !!
she will purchase a ONE WAY TICKET to the blue, blue water......
and she will 'PUP' HER TENT......
and that's that.....
until the scandals and jdates and courtroom dramas die down to
basic, human proportion.......
to their lowest, common denominator....
until perspective and JUDGMENT and KARMA are restored......
or rather...
CREATED......
until equitable stance is once again on the menu.....
FISH !!
yes !!!
SHE WILL CONSUME BUCKETS FULL OF FISH.....
and the essential, fatty, omegas will fillibuster through the
TOXIC WASTE.....
don't doubt MISSY on this !!!!
she is FULL OF SURPRISES.....
and health tips...
and quandry......
and HEIGHTENED EDITORIAL.....
Saturday, July 24, 2010
SO APPARENTLY.....
as if there's not ENOUGH DRAMA....
the woman in question
is PREGNANT !!!
WHAT ???
HOW ??? :}}
the guys been 'shooting blanks' for how long ???
WAIT !!!!
he hasn't been SHOOTING ANYTHING !!!
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT ??
yikes !!! yikes !!!
tricks are being played on the public !!!
tricks !!!
a salad bowl full of limp lettuce and SOUR, jizzled dressing !!
from a tube !!!!
topped with BLUE CROUTONS ???
WHAT ???
the woman in question
is PREGNANT !!!
WHAT ???
HOW ??? :}}
the guys been 'shooting blanks' for how long ???
WAIT !!!!
he hasn't been SHOOTING ANYTHING !!!
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT ??
yikes !!! yikes !!!
tricks are being played on the public !!!
tricks !!!
a salad bowl full of limp lettuce and SOUR, jizzled dressing !!
from a tube !!!!
topped with BLUE CROUTONS ???
WHAT ???
part 2......does Missy really WANT OR NEED a big , dumb hotty??
...and there he is....
leaning against the building.....
strapping......HUGE......
and she asks,
"are you waiting for ME?"
and he responds with a monosyllabic,
"yeah..."
and they begin walking...
in the extreme heat.....
on the upper east side......
she can't really think of anything to say......
Missy......
the lovely, upper east side DIVA......
and the very young, tattooed, (now tan !) hotty......
and she keeps thinking to herself......
"what am i doing ???"
the guy has tattoos all over him....
and bling !!!!
and a backward baseball cap !!!
he looks like a drug dealer !!!!
what will people think if they see me with him ????
OH, MY !!!!
and he wants to take her out !!
like for drinks or something.....
ewwwww......,
she thinks to herself....
this is NOT FOR ME !!!
but how to escape gracefully ???
in the end, she tells him that she needs to run home and get something.....
and decidedly, NOT being a
"ROCKET SCIENTIST",
he believes her......:}}
she leaves the silly hotty waiting in the street for her...
abandoned....
yet hopeful....
never to return....
be very careful what you wish for.....
leaning against the building.....
strapping......HUGE......
and she asks,
"are you waiting for ME?"
and he responds with a monosyllabic,
"yeah..."
and they begin walking...
in the extreme heat.....
on the upper east side......
she can't really think of anything to say......
Missy......
the lovely, upper east side DIVA......
and the very young, tattooed, (now tan !) hotty......
and she keeps thinking to herself......
"what am i doing ???"
the guy has tattoos all over him....
and bling !!!!
and a backward baseball cap !!!
he looks like a drug dealer !!!!
what will people think if they see me with him ????
OH, MY !!!!
and he wants to take her out !!
like for drinks or something.....
ewwwww......,
she thinks to herself....
this is NOT FOR ME !!!
but how to escape gracefully ???
in the end, she tells him that she needs to run home and get something.....
and decidedly, NOT being a
"ROCKET SCIENTIST",
he believes her......:}}
she leaves the silly hotty waiting in the street for her...
abandoned....
yet hopeful....
never to return....
be very careful what you wish for.....
Friday, July 23, 2010
here's a new 'missy in the city' story !!
so about a week or so after the camp visiting day 'fiasco'....
Missy decides to go to a 'tanning salon'.....
in order to look bronzed and hot
while little Candice is STILL away in camp....
in order to meet
'mr wonderful',
and appear as a bronzed 'goddess'...
and as she's standing in line for the
'platinum tanning booth'.....
she notices,
directly in front of her.....
a STUNNING,
MUSCLEBOUND,
ENORMOUS,
YOUNG guy.......
eyes as blue as any she'd ever seen...
QUITE THE SPECIMEN ......:}}
allow me to backtrack for a moment....
that VERY MORNING......in fact.....
Missy had been thinking to herself....
"ENOUGH WITH THE RELATIONSHIPS ALREADY !!
WOULDN'T IT BE FUN TO MEET A BIG,
DUMB,
BEAUTIFUL GUY.....
and just have a casual affair for a change ??"
I'M not MAKING THIS UP !!!!
IT HAPPENED.....(fictitiously !) :}}
so going back to the line in the tanning salon...
this big, dumb, hot guy looks at Missy and says...
"hey.......how you do in' ??"
truly profound and life altering.........
NOT !!!!
Missy grunts something at him and RUNS into the tanning booth....
as she enters the booth, she thinks to herself....
"what a schmuck i am !!!!
that guy was exactly what i need !!"
but alas....
some 12 minutes later....
as she left the tanning salon.....
"HOTTY the dumb, beautiful HUNK" was nowhere to be found....
disappointed at herself for not having
'SEIZED THE OPPORTUNITY',
for something 'mindless'.....and easy....and just downright fun.....
she leaves.......
heading for home....
LO AND BEHOLD !!!!
as she steps out the door.....
HUNKY THE HOTTY IS WAITING FOR HER !!!!!
waiting for Lil ol her !!!!!
she is SPEECHLESS !!!
flabbergasted.......
stay tuned........:}}
Missy decides to go to a 'tanning salon'.....
in order to look bronzed and hot
while little Candice is STILL away in camp....
in order to meet
'mr wonderful',
and appear as a bronzed 'goddess'...
and as she's standing in line for the
'platinum tanning booth'.....
she notices,
directly in front of her.....
a STUNNING,
MUSCLEBOUND,
ENORMOUS,
YOUNG guy.......
eyes as blue as any she'd ever seen...
QUITE THE SPECIMEN ......:}}
allow me to backtrack for a moment....
that VERY MORNING......in fact.....
Missy had been thinking to herself....
"ENOUGH WITH THE RELATIONSHIPS ALREADY !!
WOULDN'T IT BE FUN TO MEET A BIG,
DUMB,
BEAUTIFUL GUY.....
and just have a casual affair for a change ??"
I'M not MAKING THIS UP !!!!
IT HAPPENED.....(fictitiously !) :}}
so going back to the line in the tanning salon...
this big, dumb, hot guy looks at Missy and says...
"hey.......how you do in' ??"
truly profound and life altering.........
NOT !!!!
Missy grunts something at him and RUNS into the tanning booth....
as she enters the booth, she thinks to herself....
"what a schmuck i am !!!!
that guy was exactly what i need !!"
but alas....
some 12 minutes later....
as she left the tanning salon.....
"HOTTY the dumb, beautiful HUNK" was nowhere to be found....
disappointed at herself for not having
'SEIZED THE OPPORTUNITY',
for something 'mindless'.....and easy....and just downright fun.....
she leaves.......
heading for home....
LO AND BEHOLD !!!!
as she steps out the door.....
HUNKY THE HOTTY IS WAITING FOR HER !!!!!
waiting for Lil ol her !!!!!
she is SPEECHLESS !!!
flabbergasted.......
stay tuned........:}}
Moishe had a slight limp....
other than this infraction.....
he was quite stunning actually....
'movie star' handsome.....
women would swoon as he limped by....:}}
so on this particular Friday morning,
he was headed,
as per his weekly routine.....
to the kosher bakery on MAIN STREET....
as he approached.......
the aroma of freshly baked challah permeated the air around him....
nothing smelled, to Moishe, quite like that.......
of hearth and home and Shabbat.....
he was indeed a pious man....
and joyful....
albeit somewhat sad.....
as his wonderful wife had passed away only a year ago.....
leaving Moishe with a large, vacuous hole in his heart....
she had been a beauty......
(at least in his eyes...)
white skin......white as snow....
a tiny thing with very large hands....
oddly large hands...:}}
he smiled at the memory of those beloved, over sized hands....
but the rebbe had told Moishe,
in no uncertain terms......
that once the year of mourning had ended,
so must he begin his life again.....
with an uplifted heart.....
and gratitude for the great love which he had enjoyed....
as he entered the bakery.....
a vision caught his attention......
she was seated in the corner.....alone....
flaming, red hair.....
a bandanna tied around her neck.....
HUGE LIPS......
HUGE !!!!
to his great surprise, he felt a stirring.....
those lips......
MY GOD !!!
she was reading the paper.....
drinking a latte....
he noticed quickly that she wore no wedding band...
he wondered, surreptitiously,
whether she, too,
had a limp......
he was quite stunning actually....
'movie star' handsome.....
women would swoon as he limped by....:}}
so on this particular Friday morning,
he was headed,
as per his weekly routine.....
to the kosher bakery on MAIN STREET....
as he approached.......
the aroma of freshly baked challah permeated the air around him....
nothing smelled, to Moishe, quite like that.......
of hearth and home and Shabbat.....
he was indeed a pious man....
and joyful....
albeit somewhat sad.....
as his wonderful wife had passed away only a year ago.....
leaving Moishe with a large, vacuous hole in his heart....
she had been a beauty......
(at least in his eyes...)
white skin......white as snow....
a tiny thing with very large hands....
oddly large hands...:}}
he smiled at the memory of those beloved, over sized hands....
but the rebbe had told Moishe,
in no uncertain terms......
that once the year of mourning had ended,
so must he begin his life again.....
with an uplifted heart.....
and gratitude for the great love which he had enjoyed....
as he entered the bakery.....
a vision caught his attention......
she was seated in the corner.....alone....
flaming, red hair.....
a bandanna tied around her neck.....
HUGE LIPS......
HUGE !!!!
to his great surprise, he felt a stirring.....
those lips......
MY GOD !!!
she was reading the paper.....
drinking a latte....
he noticed quickly that she wore no wedding band...
he wondered, surreptitiously,
whether she, too,
had a limp......
Thursday, July 22, 2010
somebody wise.....
once told me that
'im too quick to cut'.....
to disassociate myself.....
while this may very well be true....
i want you to know.....
that it would be SOMEHOW...... EASIER......
more PEACEFUL even.....
to MAINTAIN the status quo......
to TOLERATE....to STAY in the disconcert ion.....
rather than 'aborting' the entire debacle...
out of hand.....
the CUTTING OFF.......
the disassociation......
can be extremely castrating.....
scarring......
perhaps unbefitting of the perceived 'crime'.......
not only for the ones that i expunge from the record......
but for me as well......
although,
admittedly,
i do appear to be 'somewhat aloof' about it....
heartless perhaps......
i know that....
its a mask which i don,
in order to
"assuage the extremity of the carnage"...
ahhh.....
what can i say ??
a child of holocaust survivors.....
a GENETIC SURVIVOR.....
casual and relentless about loss.....
deep and wounded by betrayal......
but what is betrayal, to me.....
after all ???
certainly my perception may indeed be off the mark.....:}{
(no pun intended !)
and so it goes.....
'im too quick to cut'.....
to disassociate myself.....
while this may very well be true....
i want you to know.....
that it would be SOMEHOW...... EASIER......
more PEACEFUL even.....
to MAINTAIN the status quo......
to TOLERATE....to STAY in the disconcert ion.....
rather than 'aborting' the entire debacle...
out of hand.....
the CUTTING OFF.......
the disassociation......
can be extremely castrating.....
scarring......
perhaps unbefitting of the perceived 'crime'.......
not only for the ones that i expunge from the record......
but for me as well......
although,
admittedly,
i do appear to be 'somewhat aloof' about it....
heartless perhaps......
i know that....
its a mask which i don,
in order to
"assuage the extremity of the carnage"...
ahhh.....
what can i say ??
a child of holocaust survivors.....
a GENETIC SURVIVOR.....
casual and relentless about loss.....
deep and wounded by betrayal......
but what is betrayal, to me.....
after all ???
certainly my perception may indeed be off the mark.....:}{
(no pun intended !)
and so it goes.....
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
damnit , brother .........
walk the freaking walk already !!!
don't just say the words.......
don't just 'talk the talk'....
for gods sake......
MAN UP !!
take the fancy words and modern sentiments......
and all that BROUHAHA.....
and chuck'm out the window....
FARRRRRRR out the window......
stick'm where the sun dont shine.......
cause nobody's listening !!!!
NOBODYS HOME !!!
'we' simply refuse to partake in this roller coaster full
of words and concepts
and clauses and non sequiturs......
NO!! NO!! NO!!
ENOUGH, my sweet......
NO MORE WORDS !!!!!
ACTION..........
flowers....
candy,,,,
dishwasher detergent...:}}
NO MORE WORDS !!!
don't just say the words.......
don't just 'talk the talk'....
for gods sake......
MAN UP !!
take the fancy words and modern sentiments......
and all that BROUHAHA.....
and chuck'm out the window....
FARRRRRRR out the window......
stick'm where the sun dont shine.......
cause nobody's listening !!!!
NOBODYS HOME !!!
'we' simply refuse to partake in this roller coaster full
of words and concepts
and clauses and non sequiturs......
NO!! NO!! NO!!
ENOUGH, my sweet......
NO MORE WORDS !!!!!
ACTION..........
flowers....
candy,,,,
dishwasher detergent...:}}
NO MORE WORDS !!!
on 'faith'....
there are those.....
many actually.....
who simply cannot grasp the concept of
'blind faith'....
belief in something HIGHER.....
UNTOUCHABLE.....
obscure to the human eye.....
these people always make me sad....
for it seems that they are missing out on the 'magic' of life......
the magic that you've generously offered to share with them....
so as to enrich their somewhat, 'insular' experience......
for.....
life is most certainly NOT a perfect 'science'.....
it seems,
at least to me,
to be a series of layered,
experiential scenarios....
topped off with ribbons of sugary sweet,
lemon frosting......
not a mathematically, charged equation......
certainly not !!
and if you try to share the wealth of 'godly' information which you've been gifted with.....
well.....
they buck up against you HARD.....
for they feel threatened by your 'knowing ness'....
nonetheless...
you continue to pray for them......
in order that some higher power may bless them
with the 'light of illumination'.....
and so it goes......
many actually.....
who simply cannot grasp the concept of
'blind faith'....
belief in something HIGHER.....
UNTOUCHABLE.....
obscure to the human eye.....
these people always make me sad....
for it seems that they are missing out on the 'magic' of life......
the magic that you've generously offered to share with them....
so as to enrich their somewhat, 'insular' experience......
for.....
life is most certainly NOT a perfect 'science'.....
it seems,
at least to me,
to be a series of layered,
experiential scenarios....
topped off with ribbons of sugary sweet,
lemon frosting......
not a mathematically, charged equation......
certainly not !!
and if you try to share the wealth of 'godly' information which you've been gifted with.....
well.....
they buck up against you HARD.....
for they feel threatened by your 'knowing ness'....
nonetheless...
you continue to pray for them......
in order that some higher power may bless them
with the 'light of illumination'.....
and so it goes......
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
on this day of lamentation...
let us examine, carefully,
the chilling issues at hand......
there is talk.....
more than talk actually.....
of building a mosque ,
in the very location.....
where the tragic and horrific events of September 11th took place.....
a MOSQUE !!!
of all things.....
what does this mean for us ??
as NEW YORKERS....
as AMERICANS....
as JEWS......
are we to WELCOME this Islamic house of worship
with our arms wide open ???
in the hopes that ALL WILL BE WELL ???
are we to celebrate the rights and needs of the
VERY PEOPLE WHO
SEEK TO OBLITERATE US on a daily basis ???
would it be appropriate for me,
as the daughter of Holocaust survivors,
to THEN erect
some sort of shrine to HITLER as well ???
what are we thinking, people ????
what are we thinking ?????
we are building
VERITABLE BRIDGES AND TUNNELS,
so as to segue the terrorists
EASILY and EFFORTLESSLY
into our midst.......
alarming, to say the least.....
catastrophic......
a mistake that will insure our DEMISE.......
the chilling issues at hand......
there is talk.....
more than talk actually.....
of building a mosque ,
in the very location.....
where the tragic and horrific events of September 11th took place.....
a MOSQUE !!!
of all things.....
what does this mean for us ??
as NEW YORKERS....
as AMERICANS....
as JEWS......
are we to WELCOME this Islamic house of worship
with our arms wide open ???
in the hopes that ALL WILL BE WELL ???
are we to celebrate the rights and needs of the
VERY PEOPLE WHO
SEEK TO OBLITERATE US on a daily basis ???
would it be appropriate for me,
as the daughter of Holocaust survivors,
to THEN erect
some sort of shrine to HITLER as well ???
what are we thinking, people ????
what are we thinking ?????
we are building
VERITABLE BRIDGES AND TUNNELS,
so as to segue the terrorists
EASILY and EFFORTLESSLY
into our midst.......
alarming, to say the least.....
catastrophic......
a mistake that will insure our DEMISE.......
i sat at a table yesterday.....
with a curious man....
attempting to explain,
from my heart,
and from my head....
why JUDAISM lives on in perpetuity.....
why....
beyond the dogma and rhetoric.....
the simplicity and profundity of Torah
AFFORDS us
an OUTLINE,
if you will.....
an outline and a set of limits and barometers.....
that....
when reduced to their BASIC INTENT......
tell us EVERYTHING......
EVERYTHING THAT WE NEED TO KNOW.....
respectfully,
the rabbis and scholars have lent interpretation
to ALL OF IT.....
some sagely.....
some superfluous, i suppose...:}}
but broken down to its most common denominator,
we have IT ALL.....
a guideline for life.....
for humanity...
for illumination.....
all one need do is
LOOK and
READ and
ASK...
GOD will be right THERE next to you...
whispering in your ear....
holding your hand....
imparting HIS wisdom.....
imparting his LOVE.......
attempting to explain,
from my heart,
and from my head....
why JUDAISM lives on in perpetuity.....
why....
beyond the dogma and rhetoric.....
the simplicity and profundity of Torah
AFFORDS us
an OUTLINE,
if you will.....
an outline and a set of limits and barometers.....
that....
when reduced to their BASIC INTENT......
tell us EVERYTHING......
EVERYTHING THAT WE NEED TO KNOW.....
respectfully,
the rabbis and scholars have lent interpretation
to ALL OF IT.....
some sagely.....
some superfluous, i suppose...:}}
but broken down to its most common denominator,
we have IT ALL.....
a guideline for life.....
for humanity...
for illumination.....
all one need do is
LOOK and
READ and
ASK...
GOD will be right THERE next to you...
whispering in your ear....
holding your hand....
imparting HIS wisdom.....
imparting his LOVE.......
Monday, July 19, 2010
commemorating the destruction....
we Jews have been attacked, annihilated, oppressed.....
since the beginning of time....
and yet....
and yet.....
we survive.....
we endure.....
in fact, we THRIVE....
throughout all of the degradation......
throughout the constant victimization and scapegoating.....
WHY ??
what makes us so IMPENETRABLE ??
so SOLID ??
it is this SIMPLE FACT.....
that ultimately......resolutely......
we are the people of KNOWLEDGE....
the scholars....
the doctors of intellect.....
our wisdom.....
our moral code......
our very, inner fiber.......
these attributes//////
these gifts.....
continue to uplift our essence.....
our core........
ABOVE measure.....
unequivocally......
TODAY we remember an unfortunate and tragic time in our history....
TODAY we remember that
WE CONTINUE TO LIVE ON IN PERPETUITY.....
the people of GOD.....
the CHOSEN ONES......
since the beginning of time....
and yet....
and yet.....
we survive.....
we endure.....
in fact, we THRIVE....
throughout all of the degradation......
throughout the constant victimization and scapegoating.....
WHY ??
what makes us so IMPENETRABLE ??
so SOLID ??
it is this SIMPLE FACT.....
that ultimately......resolutely......
we are the people of KNOWLEDGE....
the scholars....
the doctors of intellect.....
our wisdom.....
our moral code......
our very, inner fiber.......
these attributes//////
these gifts.....
continue to uplift our essence.....
our core........
ABOVE measure.....
unequivocally......
TODAY we remember an unfortunate and tragic time in our history....
TODAY we remember that
WE CONTINUE TO LIVE ON IN PERPETUITY.....
the people of GOD.....
the CHOSEN ONES......
when it comes to 'LOVE'......
all bets are off...
whether it makes sense or not...
what is it that creates 'LOVE' ?
is is the intoxicating aroma of the lover ?
his hair ?
his CURIOUS entrenchment in all things 'aetheistic' ?
when all is said and done...
how does our brain chemistry fuse with our DNA ??
and how do these two components then translate themselves into
an 'OPEN HEART' dance ?
when it comes to 'love'.....
we are but mere puppets on a stage of
'happenstance and ceremony'.....
blinded, in fact,
by FEELINGS and EMOTIONS......
and such......
so we set out, hopefully,
anxiously even....
to TRY,
yet again....
to ALLOW our vulnerability to consider the CHANCE of 'LOVE'........
as with all things poetic.....
we wax and wane.....
in a sort of 'bio-rhythmic flow'......
and ANTI-FLOW....
we knock the 'SENSIBLE' far, far away from our 'standing position'.....
so that we are, actually,
allowing our loins and noses and pulsations to make
the DECISION for us........
when it comes to 'LOVE'.......
we become ONLY
A RED ball of fluff and sinew and hope......:}}
whether it makes sense or not...
what is it that creates 'LOVE' ?
is is the intoxicating aroma of the lover ?
his hair ?
his CURIOUS entrenchment in all things 'aetheistic' ?
when all is said and done...
how does our brain chemistry fuse with our DNA ??
and how do these two components then translate themselves into
an 'OPEN HEART' dance ?
when it comes to 'love'.....
we are but mere puppets on a stage of
'happenstance and ceremony'.....
blinded, in fact,
by FEELINGS and EMOTIONS......
and such......
so we set out, hopefully,
anxiously even....
to TRY,
yet again....
to ALLOW our vulnerability to consider the CHANCE of 'LOVE'........
as with all things poetic.....
we wax and wane.....
in a sort of 'bio-rhythmic flow'......
and ANTI-FLOW....
we knock the 'SENSIBLE' far, far away from our 'standing position'.....
so that we are, actually,
allowing our loins and noses and pulsations to make
the DECISION for us........
when it comes to 'LOVE'.......
we become ONLY
A RED ball of fluff and sinew and hope......:}}
Sunday, July 18, 2010
curb your fears.....
however 'reasonable' you may perceive them to be......
for they will 'surely'
manifest into ACTUALITY.......
we make such supreme effort toward keeping
'our standards
'in tact'',
that we seem to literally MISS the moment
of potential
rapture and fusion...
and such......
perhaps we might find a BETTER,
more evolved way.....
in which to make our EXPECTATIONS KNOWN......
without alienating and infuriating
the veritable
'object of our incongruous contention'....
hence......
if there are INDEED.........
RED FLAGS.......
of course !!!
listen to your instincts,,,,,
heed your own inner warnings......
BUT......
if fear and mandatory conflict DNA....
have been TOP ITEMS
on the menu of your own inner 'DINER'.......
perhaps eliminate them from the list of goodies....
and substitute FAITH AND PASSION.....??
I'M JUST SAYING........
for they will 'surely'
manifest into ACTUALITY.......
we make such supreme effort toward keeping
'our standards
'in tact'',
that we seem to literally MISS the moment
of potential
rapture and fusion...
and such......
perhaps we might find a BETTER,
more evolved way.....
in which to make our EXPECTATIONS KNOWN......
without alienating and infuriating
the veritable
'object of our incongruous contention'....
hence......
if there are INDEED.........
RED FLAGS.......
of course !!!
listen to your instincts,,,,,
heed your own inner warnings......
BUT......
if fear and mandatory conflict DNA....
have been TOP ITEMS
on the menu of your own inner 'DINER'.......
perhaps eliminate them from the list of goodies....
and substitute FAITH AND PASSION.....??
I'M JUST SAYING........
visiting day......part 2..
Missy finds herself,
over an hour after the official
'camp visiting day'
has surely begun.......
in the front seat of a GIGANTIC, TOW TRUCK......
the driver is an enormous, tattooed REDNECK......
and they are traveling somewhere in random Pennsylvania...
ALONE......
almost desolate.....
and the driver is
leering at and ogling her quite conspicuously.....
all that Missy can think is........
"i should NEVER have worn this revealing top !"
"i will never make it to Candice...."
"she will be scarred for life....."
"they will find me months from now.......
mangled and murdered as roadkill....."
WHAT TO DO ???
WHAT TO DO ???
in the end, however.....
they made it......
the ogling redneck had turned out to be quite the gentleman......
his ONLY REQUEST from Missy
was that she call him upon returning home later that day,
in order to alert him as to her safe return......
Candice is anxiously awaiting by the entrance of the camp.....
the day went beautifully from that point forward......
just another adventurous day in the life of 'MISSY'......:}}
***note to readers...
ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN....for they are EVERYTHING !
and
DO NOT JUDGE GIGANTIC,
TATTOOED,
TOW TRUCK DRIVERS
TOO HARSHLY !!!
and
CHECK THE REGISTRATION EXPIRATION
ON YOUR VEHICLES !!!
over an hour after the official
'camp visiting day'
has surely begun.......
in the front seat of a GIGANTIC, TOW TRUCK......
the driver is an enormous, tattooed REDNECK......
and they are traveling somewhere in random Pennsylvania...
ALONE......
almost desolate.....
and the driver is
leering at and ogling her quite conspicuously.....
all that Missy can think is........
"i should NEVER have worn this revealing top !"
"i will never make it to Candice...."
"she will be scarred for life....."
"they will find me months from now.......
mangled and murdered as roadkill....."
WHAT TO DO ???
WHAT TO DO ???
in the end, however.....
they made it......
the ogling redneck had turned out to be quite the gentleman......
his ONLY REQUEST from Missy
was that she call him upon returning home later that day,
in order to alert him as to her safe return......
Candice is anxiously awaiting by the entrance of the camp.....
the day went beautifully from that point forward......
just another adventurous day in the life of 'MISSY'......:}}
***note to readers...
ENJOY YOUR CHILDREN....for they are EVERYTHING !
and
DO NOT JUDGE GIGANTIC,
TATTOOED,
TOW TRUCK DRIVERS
TOO HARSHLY !!!
and
CHECK THE REGISTRATION EXPIRATION
ON YOUR VEHICLES !!!
Saturday, July 17, 2010
this is the story of a woman....
lets call her 'MISSY'...
(this is FICTION!)
so Missy sets out in her SUV TRUCK to drive to
"summer camp visiting day".....
in order to visit her 'daughter'....
lets call her daughter...mm..
'CANDICE'.....
so Missy SETS OUT on her way....
early in the morning.....
ice cooler in hand.....
with an assortment of cheap, 7/11, nick nacks for Candice....
(as parents DO NOT
come to visit their
"10-thousand-dollar-a-summer" campers
without baring GIFTS.....)
this would simply be 'bad form'....
it is really VERY EARLY....
and Missy needs caffeine in a rather desperate way....
she is essentially falling asleep at the wheel......
she checks the clock....
is making excellent time....
and determines to pull off the highway at a gas station,
in order to purchase a hot cup of coffee.....
SUDDENLY........
THERE ARE POLICE CARS EVERYWHERE !!!
and it appears...oddly.....
that they are focused on Missy !!!!
she panics for all of a moment.....
reminding herself to be cool, calm, and collected.....
as emotion and hyperbole
will most certainly
NOT SERVE HER
in this surprising and
seemingly precarious scenario....
two rather STRAPPING, POLICEMEN
approach the car....
and ask her for her license and registration.....
she asks them if she has perhaps done something wrong.....
speeding or some such infraction....
they advise her to stay in the vehicle.....
while they check a few things out....
needless to say.....
Missy is FREAKED OUT ROYALLY...
not to mention the fact that the clock is ticking,
and visiting day at summer camp is about to begin !!!
let me say here,
that Missy's strong suit was never paperwork......
apparently, she had overlooked the fact that
the registration had expired on the car....
the policemen compliment her pretty eyes,
and tell her that they wish they could break the rules,
or even BEND THEM.....
but there hands are tied....
and they CANNOT ALLOW
Missy to drive the car without an updated registration sticker.....
period.
Missy begs and pleads and
EVEN AGREES TO HAVE DINNER WITH ONE OF THE POLICEMEN
AFTER VISITING DAY AT CAMP.....
they determine to call a tow truck.....
the truck will tow Missy's car to camp.....
and little CANDICE will receive her cheap toys from 7/11.......
stay tuned.........
(this is FICTION!)
so Missy sets out in her SUV TRUCK to drive to
"summer camp visiting day".....
in order to visit her 'daughter'....
lets call her daughter...mm..
'CANDICE'.....
so Missy SETS OUT on her way....
early in the morning.....
ice cooler in hand.....
with an assortment of cheap, 7/11, nick nacks for Candice....
(as parents DO NOT
come to visit their
"10-thousand-dollar-a-summer" campers
without baring GIFTS.....)
this would simply be 'bad form'....
it is really VERY EARLY....
and Missy needs caffeine in a rather desperate way....
she is essentially falling asleep at the wheel......
she checks the clock....
is making excellent time....
and determines to pull off the highway at a gas station,
in order to purchase a hot cup of coffee.....
SUDDENLY........
THERE ARE POLICE CARS EVERYWHERE !!!
and it appears...oddly.....
that they are focused on Missy !!!!
she panics for all of a moment.....
reminding herself to be cool, calm, and collected.....
as emotion and hyperbole
will most certainly
NOT SERVE HER
in this surprising and
seemingly precarious scenario....
two rather STRAPPING, POLICEMEN
approach the car....
and ask her for her license and registration.....
she asks them if she has perhaps done something wrong.....
speeding or some such infraction....
they advise her to stay in the vehicle.....
while they check a few things out....
needless to say.....
Missy is FREAKED OUT ROYALLY...
not to mention the fact that the clock is ticking,
and visiting day at summer camp is about to begin !!!
let me say here,
that Missy's strong suit was never paperwork......
apparently, she had overlooked the fact that
the registration had expired on the car....
the policemen compliment her pretty eyes,
and tell her that they wish they could break the rules,
or even BEND THEM.....
but there hands are tied....
and they CANNOT ALLOW
Missy to drive the car without an updated registration sticker.....
period.
Missy begs and pleads and
EVEN AGREES TO HAVE DINNER WITH ONE OF THE POLICEMEN
AFTER VISITING DAY AT CAMP.....
they determine to call a tow truck.....
the truck will tow Missy's car to camp.....
and little CANDICE will receive her cheap toys from 7/11.......
stay tuned.........
Friday, July 16, 2010
IS IT THE STEAK ???
is it a credit card, cash, or just a freak in, steak dinner ??
is it the silver hair ??
is it the slight hesitation of his verbiage ??
what makes him so different from the others ?
his eagerness to communicate 'ad nauseum' ?
his devout inflexibility ???
his love of mayonnaise ??
WHAT IS IT ???
TELL ME !!!
i have neither the resources, nor the patience.....
to continue trying to unravel this hornets nest of PLENTY !!
BACK TO BASICS......
Pennsylvania.....here i come !!
need me some barbecued ribs
and some, hot, cooked MAN !!
and that's THAT !!!
is it the silver hair ??
is it the slight hesitation of his verbiage ??
what makes him so different from the others ?
his eagerness to communicate 'ad nauseum' ?
his devout inflexibility ???
his love of mayonnaise ??
WHAT IS IT ???
TELL ME !!!
i have neither the resources, nor the patience.....
to continue trying to unravel this hornets nest of PLENTY !!
BACK TO BASICS......
Pennsylvania.....here i come !!
need me some barbecued ribs
and some, hot, cooked MAN !!
and that's THAT !!!
so there was this guy......
handsome.....
intelligent....
kinda cool.....
good hair....:}
and it was a whirlwind....
it happened too fast.....
love, love, love......
that was the ONLY THING that they could see......feel......taste.......
that was the BEGINNING AND
apparently,
the END OF THEIR STORY.....
they fell in love without having had a relationship first.....
very strange circumstance......
it wasn't just LUST either......
i know what you're thinking......
although........:}}
clearly,
lust was an option on the menu.......
it happened too fast.......
POWERFULLY.......
OVERWHELMING......
before they had time to 'discuss' their differences......
or their similarities......
or their proclivities around purchasing small items.......
timing......
it all comes down to timing and chemistry.......
yes....
TIMING and CHEMISTRY....
but what to do now ????
THEY WERE SMITTEN......
and extremely annoyed....
all at once......
before TALKING........
before THINKING.......
it was irrational......
it was SHOCKING......
it was ABSURD.....
nonetheless.......
it EXISTED.......
within a cellophane balloon of their own making.......
the balloon was heart shaped.......
and smelled of chrysanthemum and lavender and KOSHER STEAK......
intelligent....
kinda cool.....
good hair....:}
and it was a whirlwind....
it happened too fast.....
love, love, love......
that was the ONLY THING that they could see......feel......taste.......
that was the BEGINNING AND
apparently,
the END OF THEIR STORY.....
they fell in love without having had a relationship first.....
very strange circumstance......
it wasn't just LUST either......
i know what you're thinking......
although........:}}
clearly,
lust was an option on the menu.......
it happened too fast.......
POWERFULLY.......
OVERWHELMING......
before they had time to 'discuss' their differences......
or their similarities......
or their proclivities around purchasing small items.......
timing......
it all comes down to timing and chemistry.......
yes....
TIMING and CHEMISTRY....
but what to do now ????
THEY WERE SMITTEN......
and extremely annoyed....
all at once......
before TALKING........
before THINKING.......
it was irrational......
it was SHOCKING......
it was ABSURD.....
nonetheless.......
it EXISTED.......
within a cellophane balloon of their own making.......
the balloon was heart shaped.......
and smelled of chrysanthemum and lavender and KOSHER STEAK......
Thursday, July 15, 2010
so the hagard, old woman with the spiky hair.......
apparently.....
INVESTED in the union......
HEAVILY....
IN TOTALITY......
and.....
surprise ! surprise !!
she got BURNT.......
burnt and humiliated.....
and left.....
and the Spiky shreds of hair turned to sandpaper......
and all the leopard skins and boob jobs
and saggy, old, "DRY" THONGS.....
and fan pages.....
and inordinately vulgar, Chinese, zoo animals.....
and OTHER superfluous HOO HA....
went immediately
SOUTH......
WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THIS PATHETIC TALE ?
don't try to be something you can't even possibly grasp.....
don't ENVY....
ohhhh.......DON'T ENVY....
take that green monster, whos been nibbling at your 'lifted' ear.....
and
CHUCK HIM OUT THE WINDOW FAST !!!
don't go overboard with PLASTIC SURGERY....(ewww)
and most importantly......
DON'T MESS WITH GODDESS XREBBETZIN.....:}}
INVESTED in the union......
HEAVILY....
IN TOTALITY......
and.....
surprise ! surprise !!
she got BURNT.......
burnt and humiliated.....
and left.....
and the Spiky shreds of hair turned to sandpaper......
and all the leopard skins and boob jobs
and saggy, old, "DRY" THONGS.....
and fan pages.....
and inordinately vulgar, Chinese, zoo animals.....
and OTHER superfluous HOO HA....
went immediately
SOUTH......
WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THIS PATHETIC TALE ?
don't try to be something you can't even possibly grasp.....
don't ENVY....
ohhhh.......DON'T ENVY....
take that green monster, whos been nibbling at your 'lifted' ear.....
and
CHUCK HIM OUT THE WINDOW FAST !!!
don't go overboard with PLASTIC SURGERY....(ewww)
and most importantly......
DON'T MESS WITH GODDESS XREBBETZIN.....:}}
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
is it LOVE, INFATUATION, or just this HORRIBLE president ???
times appear to be plummeting out of control,
with regard to the demographic and political
'complexion'
of our world...
in that same vein, however....
shockingly....
'our' capacity to "LOVE"
HAS GROWN...
".... a drop of rain must fall".....
and to that end,
regardless of circumstantial dogma and rhetoric,
a flower appears to be sprouting in the garden,
just outside your 'urban' window.....
you can see a hint of 'green'...the color of 'life'.....
if you examine very, very closely.......
amidst turmoil and angst......
your heart is 'aflutter'.......:}
can LOVE and WARFARE exist simultaneously ???
is there mutual exclusivity ?
with regard to the demographic and political
'complexion'
of our world...
in that same vein, however....
shockingly....
'our' capacity to "LOVE"
HAS GROWN...
".... a drop of rain must fall".....
and to that end,
regardless of circumstantial dogma and rhetoric,
a flower appears to be sprouting in the garden,
just outside your 'urban' window.....
you can see a hint of 'green'...the color of 'life'.....
if you examine very, very closely.......
amidst turmoil and angst......
your heart is 'aflutter'.......:}
can LOVE and WARFARE exist simultaneously ???
is there mutual exclusivity ?
Monday, July 12, 2010
the art of 'self sabotage'....
there exists a curious component to the human condition.....
an 'artform' of sorts really.....
the art of 'self sabotage'......
this insidious beast crawls its way in.....
beneath the bedsheets....
when your eyes are tightly shut ....
and it insinuates itself into your brain function.....
LITERALLY !
so that.....
upon awakening...
self doubt has eroded and pummeled the
"ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF HEADWAY"
you've made....
just the day before !!!
and "self sabotage" has LIPS.....
and SALIVA.....
and a HUGE HAMMER.....
and the beast actually goes as far as to
HAND IT TO YOU....(the hammer!!)
and it orders you to knock your "LOVER" unconscious with
your sheer determination and doubt !!!!
and in the heat of this battle......
as your "lover" is lying in
" a pool of blood and circumstance".....
you realize that you've been wronged !!!!
that the creature FORCED YOU
to destroy the beautiful flowers in the garden
of your minds eye.......
what to do ???
you are, indeed,
a VICTIM OF YOUR OWN SELF SABOTAGE....
and what of the bloody lover ???
you must ponder and contemplate ....
you must !!
an 'artform' of sorts really.....
the art of 'self sabotage'......
this insidious beast crawls its way in.....
beneath the bedsheets....
when your eyes are tightly shut ....
and it insinuates itself into your brain function.....
LITERALLY !
so that.....
upon awakening...
self doubt has eroded and pummeled the
"ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF HEADWAY"
you've made....
just the day before !!!
and "self sabotage" has LIPS.....
and SALIVA.....
and a HUGE HAMMER.....
and the beast actually goes as far as to
HAND IT TO YOU....(the hammer!!)
and it orders you to knock your "LOVER" unconscious with
your sheer determination and doubt !!!!
and in the heat of this battle......
as your "lover" is lying in
" a pool of blood and circumstance".....
you realize that you've been wronged !!!!
that the creature FORCED YOU
to destroy the beautiful flowers in the garden
of your minds eye.......
what to do ???
you are, indeed,
a VICTIM OF YOUR OWN SELF SABOTAGE....
and what of the bloody lover ???
you must ponder and contemplate ....
you must !!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
it's somewhat 'shocking'.....
that one can simply "turn a corner"....
and be met by a veritable 'plethora' of new beginning ......
a beginning that has been waiting...patiently....
a basketful of sweets and roses and candelabrum.....
just inches away from the place where you've been standing
ALL ALONG !!
why didn't they tell you ???
they could have saved you from so much
'anticipatory anxiety'....
they could have made assurances that it would
ALL BE JUST PERFECT.....
they could have shielded you from having
no faith left in the concept of
'LOVE'.....
but honestly,
you really ALWAYS BELIEVED.....
deep down in the recesses of your heart.....
that LOVE would appear......
for life is meaningless without it.....
and so it has......:}}
the really INTERESTING THING is what happens next....
you get the whole, big, red package
of FUN and LUST and PERSUASION......
and VULNERABILITY....
and then you go........
"WAIT A SECOND !!!"
"WHAT IS THIS I'M FEELING ???"
as if an alien creature has clawed its way beneath your very dermis.....
and the creature has sprouted wings.....
big, pink wings....
and your insides are FLYING in PINK COLOR.....
in rose color actually....
and that's it !
that's all i got......
and be met by a veritable 'plethora' of new beginning ......
a beginning that has been waiting...patiently....
a basketful of sweets and roses and candelabrum.....
just inches away from the place where you've been standing
ALL ALONG !!
why didn't they tell you ???
they could have saved you from so much
'anticipatory anxiety'....
they could have made assurances that it would
ALL BE JUST PERFECT.....
they could have shielded you from having
no faith left in the concept of
'LOVE'.....
but honestly,
you really ALWAYS BELIEVED.....
deep down in the recesses of your heart.....
that LOVE would appear......
for life is meaningless without it.....
and so it has......:}}
the really INTERESTING THING is what happens next....
you get the whole, big, red package
of FUN and LUST and PERSUASION......
and VULNERABILITY....
and then you go........
"WAIT A SECOND !!!"
"WHAT IS THIS I'M FEELING ???"
as if an alien creature has clawed its way beneath your very dermis.....
and the creature has sprouted wings.....
big, pink wings....
and your insides are FLYING in PINK COLOR.....
in rose color actually....
and that's it !
that's all i got......
Saturday, July 10, 2010
a rather 'abstract' notion....
I've been thinking a lot about how....
even in the most impoverished,
dilapidated,
and outright,
DANGEROUS neighborhoods.....
there still exists SUNSHINE.....
and FLOWERS....
and the families,
""walking"" in those neighborhoods.....
they're still SMILING and LAUGHING.....
and then i drive through
MY NEIGHBORHOOD....
the 'upper east side' of manhattan.....
the backyard of the 'rich and famous'.....
the 'HOOD OF ALL HOODS'......
and there are NO FAMILIES.....
everyone is off in their own,
very serious direction....
off to YOGA CLASS.....
or late for an appointment with their therapist.....
or complaining and arguing...
AS THEY PACK UP THE MERCEDES...
for their weekend in the hamptons......
WITHOUT the help of their loyal housekeeper.....
(she's off today !
she's with her family, laughing and smiling,
in the HOOD !)
IT'S A FASCINATING PHENOMINON REALLY.....
the juxtiposition of a few blocks.....
so what does this little vignette tell us ??
even in the most impoverished,
dilapidated,
and outright,
DANGEROUS neighborhoods.....
there still exists SUNSHINE.....
and FLOWERS....
and the families,
""walking"" in those neighborhoods.....
they're still SMILING and LAUGHING.....
and then i drive through
MY NEIGHBORHOOD....
the 'upper east side' of manhattan.....
the backyard of the 'rich and famous'.....
the 'HOOD OF ALL HOODS'......
and there are NO FAMILIES.....
everyone is off in their own,
very serious direction....
off to YOGA CLASS.....
or late for an appointment with their therapist.....
or complaining and arguing...
AS THEY PACK UP THE MERCEDES...
for their weekend in the hamptons......
WITHOUT the help of their loyal housekeeper.....
(she's off today !
she's with her family, laughing and smiling,
in the HOOD !)
IT'S A FASCINATING PHENOMINON REALLY.....
the juxtiposition of a few blocks.....
so what does this little vignette tell us ??
Friday, July 9, 2010
it happened one, rainy afternoon.....
SHE was sprawled out,
beneath the blue, diaphanous canopy.....
taking a 'cat nap'......
as it were....
for but a moment !!
'on this rainy, hot, Friday afternoon'.....
and she awoke, with a start !
for he was standing over her....
watching her......
marveling at her beauty.....
with that DEEP smile in his eyes.....
and a crinkled, weathered furl between his brows.....
nonetheless....
she SAT UP !!
shocked out of her 'sleep state' by his presence !
there is nothing more frightening than awakening to someone
STANDING OVER YOU !!!
so she did what she always did.....
she HID UNDER THE COVERS !!!
and waited for him to disappear !!,
hoping, beyond hopes, that she'd been dreaming.....
and one could hear a pin drop in the room.....
it was THAT silent.....
but he remained,
stoically,
resolutely,
by her side....
grinning....
for her childish fear was as endearing to him as
EVERYTHING ELSE about her.....
he loved her....
in the end.......
he simply LOVED HER.
she could run....
she could hide......
she could throw crystal figurines at his head even !!
:}}
nonetheless.....
he loved her....
he decided, then and there, to
WAIT IT OUT.......
even if it meant standing in the same spot....
throughout the long, summer SHABBAT......
and so....
he silently,
stealthily,
planted a kiss upon her 'covered' forehead......
and wished her, as always....
a
SHABBAT SHALOM....
beneath the blue, diaphanous canopy.....
taking a 'cat nap'......
as it were....
for but a moment !!
'on this rainy, hot, Friday afternoon'.....
and she awoke, with a start !
for he was standing over her....
watching her......
marveling at her beauty.....
with that DEEP smile in his eyes.....
and a crinkled, weathered furl between his brows.....
nonetheless....
she SAT UP !!
shocked out of her 'sleep state' by his presence !
there is nothing more frightening than awakening to someone
STANDING OVER YOU !!!
so she did what she always did.....
she HID UNDER THE COVERS !!!
and waited for him to disappear !!,
hoping, beyond hopes, that she'd been dreaming.....
and one could hear a pin drop in the room.....
it was THAT silent.....
but he remained,
stoically,
resolutely,
by her side....
grinning....
for her childish fear was as endearing to him as
EVERYTHING ELSE about her.....
he loved her....
in the end.......
he simply LOVED HER.
she could run....
she could hide......
she could throw crystal figurines at his head even !!
:}}
nonetheless.....
he loved her....
he decided, then and there, to
WAIT IT OUT.......
even if it meant standing in the same spot....
throughout the long, summer SHABBAT......
and so....
he silently,
stealthily,
planted a kiss upon her 'covered' forehead......
and wished her, as always....
a
SHABBAT SHALOM....
Thursday, July 8, 2010
they continued to PRY....and PROBE.....
they couldn't help themselves.....
they were bored,
unsatisfied....
'WE' were EXCITING....
no doubt about it.....:}
but when are boundaries held sacred ?
when can we expect to have our PRIVACY respected ?
"NEVER!!! ??",
you say ??
is privacy a basic, human right ?
or
is it a LUXURY
that few are fortunate enough to be protected by ?
is 'our' life an open book ?
ARE ""WE""
'PUBLIC RECORD' ???
are our 'eggs for breakfast'
and our 'sinus infections'
and our 'morning showers'
ALL
'PUBLIC PROPERTY' ???
we live in a 'fishbowl'......
presumably,
hopefully,
covered
by some modicum of
'fringed prayer shawl'.....
we live in a glass fishbowl.....
they are ALWAYS
WATCHING US SWIM.....
around and around we go....
they were bored,
unsatisfied....
'WE' were EXCITING....
no doubt about it.....:}
but when are boundaries held sacred ?
when can we expect to have our PRIVACY respected ?
"NEVER!!! ??",
you say ??
is privacy a basic, human right ?
or
is it a LUXURY
that few are fortunate enough to be protected by ?
is 'our' life an open book ?
ARE ""WE""
'PUBLIC RECORD' ???
are our 'eggs for breakfast'
and our 'sinus infections'
and our 'morning showers'
ALL
'PUBLIC PROPERTY' ???
we live in a 'fishbowl'......
presumably,
hopefully,
covered
by some modicum of
'fringed prayer shawl'.....
we live in a glass fishbowl.....
they are ALWAYS
WATCHING US SWIM.....
around and around we go....
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
her 'luck' knew no bounds.......
she had this kind of 'bubble' of incredible,
mind boggling LUCK....
and it followed her all around the globe....
she and her MAGIC BUBBLE !
globe trotting.....
it would literally INFLATE ITSELF around her,
with no notice to her,
and CRAZY, AMAZING things would happen !!!
was this GOD ?
supplying her with his supreme 'protection' and 'light' ??
in the most CONSPICUOUS MANNER ??
she was different.......
i'm telling you !!
a complete PHENOM ......
and the men ??
well.....
they were NEVER UP TO 'SNUFF'.....
for she was AN INTIMIDATION....
albeit an 'unintentional one'.....
and so it continued....
swirling and twirling with its 'charismatic appeal'
and its ever 'raphsodic, blue motion'.....
mind boggling LUCK....
and it followed her all around the globe....
she and her MAGIC BUBBLE !
globe trotting.....
it would literally INFLATE ITSELF around her,
with no notice to her,
and CRAZY, AMAZING things would happen !!!
was this GOD ?
supplying her with his supreme 'protection' and 'light' ??
in the most CONSPICUOUS MANNER ??
she was different.......
i'm telling you !!
a complete PHENOM ......
and the men ??
well.....
they were NEVER UP TO 'SNUFF'.....
for she was AN INTIMIDATION....
albeit an 'unintentional one'.....
and so it continued....
swirling and twirling with its 'charismatic appeal'
and its ever 'raphsodic, blue motion'.....
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
and she had created a monster......
in an image of her own making.....
and he had CONSUMED her...
with his red,'love broth'...
and he had braided her hair,
and fed his delectable concoctions into her mouth........
and a piece of her heart had buried itself in his very
'ENORMITY'.....
and she awoke on this fine day....
and determined,
with every fiber of her being,
to toss his 'matter' and his extreme 'countenance'......
OFF into the carribean sea.......
FOREVER.......
for it was indeed her time.....her path.....
HER HEART.....
so as she said her goodbyes to him,
she was released ,
from his brand of 'RED slavery'......
free to share her love with yet another.....
and so it went......
and he had CONSUMED her...
with his red,'love broth'...
and he had braided her hair,
and fed his delectable concoctions into her mouth........
and a piece of her heart had buried itself in his very
'ENORMITY'.....
and she awoke on this fine day....
and determined,
with every fiber of her being,
to toss his 'matter' and his extreme 'countenance'......
OFF into the carribean sea.......
FOREVER.......
for it was indeed her time.....her path.....
HER HEART.....
so as she said her goodbyes to him,
she was released ,
from his brand of 'RED slavery'......
free to share her love with yet another.....
and so it went......
Monday, July 5, 2010
there's something to be said......
for going FAR, FAR away....
for just REMOVING oneself 'ENTIRELY'
from the very 'LOCATION' of
'contention'....
the opponent is left bereft.....
without 'arena'....
without 'platform'.....
and after all is said and done...
WHAT'S AN 'ARMED' OPPONENT REALLY
to do.....
without someone to shoot at ??
(even if he is 'shooting blanks', at best...:}})
so take thee to the other side of the moon, woman !!
where the skin is a bit darker,
and the tatoos are not only permisable.....
but fit precisely into ALL the 'fantasies' at hand......
and the waters are chock full of HEALING PROPERTIES.....
and the mermaids have necklaces,
made of sugar plums and fairy dust......
and the ONLY DECISION to make is.....
HOW MUCH BACARDI
is
TOO much bacardi ??? !!
for just REMOVING oneself 'ENTIRELY'
from the very 'LOCATION' of
'contention'....
the opponent is left bereft.....
without 'arena'....
without 'platform'.....
and after all is said and done...
WHAT'S AN 'ARMED' OPPONENT REALLY
to do.....
without someone to shoot at ??
(even if he is 'shooting blanks', at best...:}})
so take thee to the other side of the moon, woman !!
where the skin is a bit darker,
and the tatoos are not only permisable.....
but fit precisely into ALL the 'fantasies' at hand......
and the waters are chock full of HEALING PROPERTIES.....
and the mermaids have necklaces,
made of sugar plums and fairy dust......
and the ONLY DECISION to make is.....
HOW MUCH BACARDI
is
TOO much bacardi ??? !!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
i am SO OUTTA HERE......
enough with the cement jungle.....
a jungle SO hot,
that the steam literally rises directly
out of
the pavement in summer.....
take me to a freaking beach !!
far away from these
VERY, VERY SERIOUS,
SELF IMPORTANT,
'UBER MENCHEN'....
not the HAMPTONs !!
plllllllllleeeease.......
nooooo.......
nooooooooo......
been there.....:}}
same old.....same old......:}
i want my SAND TOYS!!!
I WANT THEM given to me......
in a language other than
ENGLISH !!
I WANT THEM NOW !!!
i will shovel and dig my way to PARADISE !!!!
MAKE NO MISTAKE !!!!
and the beaches will be FILLED with
blue chairs and
banana oil and
FLIP FLOPS,
made of
'fluffer nutter and cream and rubber'
MY flip flops !!
THE ONES THAT I PURCHASED AT THE
mall......
(just outside of the urban borders....)
in an attempt to feel NORMAL......
but for a moment....
GIVE ME A COCONUT,
FILLED WITH RUM AND FLOWERS !!!
i can't think of a better 'tonic' for this
"MANHATTAN HEADACHE"......
a jungle SO hot,
that the steam literally rises directly
out of
the pavement in summer.....
take me to a freaking beach !!
far away from these
VERY, VERY SERIOUS,
SELF IMPORTANT,
'UBER MENCHEN'....
not the HAMPTONs !!
plllllllllleeeease.......
nooooo.......
nooooooooo......
been there.....:}}
same old.....same old......:}
i want my SAND TOYS!!!
I WANT THEM given to me......
in a language other than
ENGLISH !!
I WANT THEM NOW !!!
i will shovel and dig my way to PARADISE !!!!
MAKE NO MISTAKE !!!!
and the beaches will be FILLED with
blue chairs and
banana oil and
FLIP FLOPS,
made of
'fluffer nutter and cream and rubber'
MY flip flops !!
THE ONES THAT I PURCHASED AT THE
mall......
(just outside of the urban borders....)
in an attempt to feel NORMAL......
but for a moment....
GIVE ME A COCONUT,
FILLED WITH RUM AND FLOWERS !!!
i can't think of a better 'tonic' for this
"MANHATTAN HEADACHE"......
Friday, July 2, 2010
MY GREAT UNCLE.......(true story!)
has a yacht that he lives on with his family during the summers.......
they yacht to Sardinia, south of France, etc.....
a couple of years ago, i had occasion to spend about ten days on his boat....
the small 'boat' was equipped with a dozen or so servants,
a swimming pool,
a gym,
and two small dingies on deck.....
they were lazy days....
sailing around the coast of Italy....
eating dinner at 11pm.....
swimming with the fish in the Mediterranean sea.......
and i grew somewhat 'bored'....
restless.....
don't ask why !!
that's another topic entirely !
and in the distance, i saw a beach.....
a kind of 'grungy' looking beach....
with lots of naked Italians on it !
understand this !!
it was NOT
THE 'NAKED PEOPLE'
that i was interested in.....
there was something BOHEMIANand SIMPLE
about the pedestrian, Italian beach......
I'm not like other people.....
never was.....
i longed to escape the
ELEGANT and OPULENT surroundings
that i had found myself trapped in !!!
WHAT CAN I SAY ??
(a prisoner in a cage made of golden bars...:}})
so i asked one of my uncle's crew members to give us a ride to the
beach in the distance.....
and to pick us up about four hours later......
and they did......
we were thrilled to pieces to have gotten a bit of freedom from the
yacht.....
we knew NOBODY.....
i can't begin to tell you how VERY COOL that was !!
i figured it was as good a time as any to TRY BEING TOPLESS.....
i mean.....who was gonna see me HERE ???
RIGHT ??
as i was reaching to take off my bathing suit top......
a JEW with a huge cigar in his mouth,
comes RUNNING OVER !!!!
he is SCREAMING and HOWLING with excitement .......
"HEY !!!!!
I KNOW YOU !!!!
I WENT TO YOUR SHUL !!!!!"
needless to say, the top stayed ON......:}}
YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE !!!
they yacht to Sardinia, south of France, etc.....
a couple of years ago, i had occasion to spend about ten days on his boat....
the small 'boat' was equipped with a dozen or so servants,
a swimming pool,
a gym,
and two small dingies on deck.....
they were lazy days....
sailing around the coast of Italy....
eating dinner at 11pm.....
swimming with the fish in the Mediterranean sea.......
and i grew somewhat 'bored'....
restless.....
don't ask why !!
that's another topic entirely !
and in the distance, i saw a beach.....
a kind of 'grungy' looking beach....
with lots of naked Italians on it !
understand this !!
it was NOT
THE 'NAKED PEOPLE'
that i was interested in.....
there was something BOHEMIANand SIMPLE
about the pedestrian, Italian beach......
I'm not like other people.....
never was.....
i longed to escape the
ELEGANT and OPULENT surroundings
that i had found myself trapped in !!!
WHAT CAN I SAY ??
(a prisoner in a cage made of golden bars...:}})
so i asked one of my uncle's crew members to give us a ride to the
beach in the distance.....
and to pick us up about four hours later......
and they did......
we were thrilled to pieces to have gotten a bit of freedom from the
yacht.....
we knew NOBODY.....
i can't begin to tell you how VERY COOL that was !!
i figured it was as good a time as any to TRY BEING TOPLESS.....
i mean.....who was gonna see me HERE ???
RIGHT ??
as i was reaching to take off my bathing suit top......
a JEW with a huge cigar in his mouth,
comes RUNNING OVER !!!!
he is SCREAMING and HOWLING with excitement .......
"HEY !!!!!
I KNOW YOU !!!!
I WENT TO YOUR SHUL !!!!!"
needless to say, the top stayed ON......:}}
YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE !!!
and the air was filled with a kind of 'anticipation'.....
angels with harpsichords were flying through the air......
and prima ballerinas were whispering 'prophesies' into the ears of
unsuspecting passers by.....
the old rabbis with the long beards were
'COUNTNG THEIR CHICKENS'......
and the french riviera was laden with the typical new yorkers,
attempting to "FEEL EUROPEAN" for the season......
and fat cows were LICKING THEIR 'esteemed' CHOPS......
while grandparents were dancing up a jig !!
organ grinders were giving their trusty 'monkeys' the weekend OFF !!
dollar bills were literally FALLING from the sky !!!
as the people on the ground hurried and scurried to gather
AS MUCH AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE !!
so as to enable themselves to 'afford' the SHABBAT DELICACIES......
and pay the overdue, electric bills......:}
i cannot express to you enough.......
how whimsical and magical and rather OUTRAGEOUS this scene was....
(as viewed from my HELICOPTER ,on high)......
life can be quite a spectacle !!!
if only we would allow the unexpected......:}
SHABBAT SHALOM, my loves.......
your,
GODDESS X
and prima ballerinas were whispering 'prophesies' into the ears of
unsuspecting passers by.....
the old rabbis with the long beards were
'COUNTNG THEIR CHICKENS'......
and the french riviera was laden with the typical new yorkers,
attempting to "FEEL EUROPEAN" for the season......
and fat cows were LICKING THEIR 'esteemed' CHOPS......
while grandparents were dancing up a jig !!
organ grinders were giving their trusty 'monkeys' the weekend OFF !!
dollar bills were literally FALLING from the sky !!!
as the people on the ground hurried and scurried to gather
AS MUCH AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE !!
so as to enable themselves to 'afford' the SHABBAT DELICACIES......
and pay the overdue, electric bills......:}
i cannot express to you enough.......
how whimsical and magical and rather OUTRAGEOUS this scene was....
(as viewed from my HELICOPTER ,on high)......
life can be quite a spectacle !!!
if only we would allow the unexpected......:}
SHABBAT SHALOM, my loves.......
your,
GODDESS X
Thursday, July 1, 2010
they met, as always, late at night......
as he approached,
her entire being filled with 'ebullience'.....
HE LITERALLY LIFTED HER UP........
in ways that she had only dreamt of....
he made her laugh.....
he frustrated her......
he annoyed her....
she cried.....
HE CRIED.......
he finished her sentences.....
felt her whereabouts and atmospheric influences.....
he was the first thought when she awoke.....
and her last vision at night......
he was the cream that rises to the top of the organic yogurt.....
a surprise.....
an acquired taste........:}}
nonetheless.....
you become addicted to its tart resonance....
with each passing day, she fell more and more deeply in love with him......
and........make no mistake !!
theirs was NOT an easily swallowed piece of the pie !!
it was fraught with issues and such.....
and even though we don't really NEED 'SUGAR'.......
there's nothing quite as sweet.....
and so we partake.......
but how do we feel the next morning ??
her entire being filled with 'ebullience'.....
HE LITERALLY LIFTED HER UP........
in ways that she had only dreamt of....
he made her laugh.....
he frustrated her......
he annoyed her....
she cried.....
HE CRIED.......
he finished her sentences.....
felt her whereabouts and atmospheric influences.....
he was the first thought when she awoke.....
and her last vision at night......
he was the cream that rises to the top of the organic yogurt.....
a surprise.....
an acquired taste........:}}
nonetheless.....
you become addicted to its tart resonance....
with each passing day, she fell more and more deeply in love with him......
and........make no mistake !!
theirs was NOT an easily swallowed piece of the pie !!
it was fraught with issues and such.....
and even though we don't really NEED 'SUGAR'.......
there's nothing quite as sweet.....
and so we partake.......
but how do we feel the next morning ??
junkies with turniquets........
continue to HAVE '
injections of 'denial'
shot directly into their veins......
are these FALSE and
'DELUSION-creating' FLUIDS.....
going immediately
TO THE HEART ??
YES !!
so that....
ultimately....
the sad-ass junky's
'HEART' is
MEDICALLY
" in DENIAL".....
UNDERSTAND THIS, my loves.....
the VERY organ that gives LIFE.....
THE ESSENTIAL ORGAN......
is 'mis informed'........'mis guided'......
'MIS TREATED' even !!
by purposeful WATCHERS......
looking to SHAKE THE MONOTONY.....
with virtual hallucinogenics......
but honestly, dear readers.....
the junkies have invited this highly TOXIC scenario......
to shake up their own pathetic, sorry 'humpty dumpty ness'......
THEY HAVE FALLEN OFF THE WALL !!
the pharmaceutical companies were INDEED
in their
'BACK POCKETS' !!!
for heavens sake !!
INSIDERS
even !!!
stay tuned.....:}}
carry a BIG STICK !!
injections of 'denial'
shot directly into their veins......
are these FALSE and
'DELUSION-creating' FLUIDS.....
going immediately
TO THE HEART ??
YES !!
so that....
ultimately....
the sad-ass junky's
'HEART' is
MEDICALLY
" in DENIAL".....
UNDERSTAND THIS, my loves.....
the VERY organ that gives LIFE.....
THE ESSENTIAL ORGAN......
is 'mis informed'........'mis guided'......
'MIS TREATED' even !!
by purposeful WATCHERS......
looking to SHAKE THE MONOTONY.....
with virtual hallucinogenics......
but honestly, dear readers.....
the junkies have invited this highly TOXIC scenario......
to shake up their own pathetic, sorry 'humpty dumpty ness'......
THEY HAVE FALLEN OFF THE WALL !!
the pharmaceutical companies were INDEED
in their
'BACK POCKETS' !!!
for heavens sake !!
INSIDERS
even !!!
stay tuned.....:}}
carry a BIG STICK !!
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